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  1. #1
    Junior Member algeerot's Avatar
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    Default How do you deal with ESFx's?

    I generally avoid meeting these types, but I can tolerate them for a while if we are friends. The ones who actually annoy me are the ones who lack self-recognition and make choices solely according to the most popular opinion. They come off as "fake" to me when they encourage everyone to do exactly same as they do. I have a sister who is a ESFP. I can easily predict and read my her actions and emotions because I know her background. But the new ESFx's I meet for the first time seem "less human" because I catch myself expecting an inferior "rationality" from them, and they probably feel the same way about me from how I appear to them instead lacking "feelings". That's enough bitching from me. What are your approaches?
    Yes? No? Yes. No. Oh! Oh no. Yes?

  2. #2
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    maybe if you quit expecting them to be inferior on the rational front you'd have an easier time getting along with them... assume the worst in someone and they'll be happy to go along with that
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    maybe if you quit expecting them to be inferior on the rational front you'd have an easier time getting along with them... assume the worst in someone and they'll be happy to go along with that
    Hey, this isn't Lex Talionis 2.0 now.

    But to help some of us, is there a specific person you're having a hard time dealing with? Do you have to work with them or do a project with them? What's the deal? That would probably help the S's that want to answer.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  4. #4
    Senior Member Stevo's Avatar
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    I'm friends with an ESFP and we get along pretty well. Sure she's a bit illogical at times but she's still a nice person and can be pretty fun. She's also pretty accommodating of my quirks as an INTP.

  5. #5
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Hey, this isn't Lex Talionis 2.0 now.

    But to help some of us, is there a specific person you're having a hard time dealing with? Do you have to work with them or do a project with them? What's the deal? That would probably help the S's that want to answer.
    sorry, I'm tired and cranky and the words "inferior rationality" somehow jumped out at me and made me even grumpier
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #6
    Senior Member HollyGolightly's Avatar
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    How do you deal with ESFx's?

    Same as you deal with any type. You understand that they are different from you and remember that "wrong" isn't the definition of different. You will find it impossible to get on with some ESFxs, but that's not down to their type. Some people are just plain unhealthy and sometimes we just don't connect with people and this can be for several reason but it's not because of their personality type. So you just deal with them like you do with anyone....go in with an open mind and try to comprimise. If it's not owrking you just accept it and learn from it and you also have to realise that just because it didn't work out this time it doesn't mean it will be impossible to get on with other people of that type or of a similar personality.

    I had a wide group of friends at school...some were Ns and some were Ss. I did connect better with the Ns, but I had a huge personal problem at one stage and I found a lot of my friends didn't stick by me. The majority of the ones that did were the sensors that I thought of as friends but there was no huge connection...I would never have regarded them as close friends and I found it hard to deal with most of them...I felt I had to hold back a lot and pretend I was someone else. But it made me realise that there are other things that are much more important. My friendships with the Sensors were more challenging that the ones with the intuitives...but only for silly reason...like I couldn't really talk to them about my theories etc and sometimes it was difficult to communicate. But having a good, loyal person in your life is more important IMO and worth all the other difficulties.
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  7. #7
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by algeerot View Post
    I generally avoid meeting these types, but I can tolerate them for a while if we are friends. The ones who actually annoy me are the ones who lack self-recognition and make choices solely according to the most popular opinion. They come off as "fake" to me when they encourage everyone to do exactly same as they do. I have a sister who is a ESFP. I can easily predict and read my her actions and emotions because I know her background. But the new ESFx's I meet for the first time seem "less human" because I catch myself expecting an inferior "rationality" from them, and they probably feel the same way about me from how I appear to them instead lacking "feelings". That's enough bitching from me. What are your approaches?
    Try to smile more and expect less. It's your expectations that are causing trouble.
    I find that I can get along with many people if I act friendly and non-judgemental (and expectation are a form of judgement).

  8. #8
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    Try to recognize their strengths, and focus on those. ESFx's are quite adept at showing you a fun time if you indulge them a little. You also never know when one is going to shatter your preconceptions of them. It's simply in their nature.

    Admittedly, I don't have the most experience with ESFJ's. But I've found ESFP's to be fairly individual. Perhaps it's Fe that you're having the most difficulty with?
    Function Activity:
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  9. #9
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by algeerot View Post
    the new ESFx's I meet for the first time seem "less human"
    errr.... what?!

    Maybe you're having a hard time dealing with these people (I'll call them "ESF-like" because you obviously don't get to know them well enough to accurately type them) because they see you don't like them. It's hard to be nice to someone who considers you "subhuman".
    -end of thread-

  10. #10
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    ESFx comes off as fake because they act differently than you do.

    In order for you to operate like your ESFP sister, you'd HAVE to "fake" it. It's not your nature. It IS her nature though, so she's being as real as dirt.

    Isn't it a bit irrational,oh Mr. Rational Person, to think that all non-INTPs should act like INTPs or else they're being fake?

    Believe me, I am in NO way glorifying them. ESFx, at least the ESFJs, tend to drive me up a freakin WALL. But the worst part of it, and the point I was making, is that they don't even have to TRY to drive me batty bananas. It comes naturally to them.

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