So we've heard enough of all that INTJ hatin'. It's time for some ACTION.
How will we propose to turn these cold-hearted seemingly 'bastardly' INTJs into a nice warm puppy, ExFP-like person?
How will we inject those happy hormones into them so that they'll burst out dancing in their boring office dancing to 'Walking on Sunshine', while smiling at everyone that they meet on their way?
How do we crush their big inflated egos into small pieces which we can all delightfully chew on? How do we smash their seemingly arrogant side so that they worship everyone else, just like all the other signs?
How do we train them so they become telepathic individuals, able to sense and thus suck emotions out of people, and somehow use some kind of special wand to cast it all over people so they become healed of their hate and seemingly pitiful sides?
How do we destroy their sick sense of humor, and their annoying and overused '69' jokes?
Hmm... (*EDIT* Hey my 500th post? What a way to celebrate )
It's okay, because it's time for Ming to come to the rescue! - As delightful and powerful ExFP, they can not stop me!
It is time.
Here is the master plan to kill, and knock out ALL INTJs. Here are the steps/commandments you must follow!
1) Use colourful colours. Like this wonderful and bright YELLOW and this beautiful CYAN to make them pity themselves. Make them realise how wonderful this world is! Give them LOVE! Refrain from using black or blue or purple if possible. We can cure their depression! (For the purpose of confidentiality, I have tried to keep it as dull as possible. Also to prevent blindness, and over optimism/hysterical laughing. Thank you.)
2) So how do we turn these INTJ's into seemingly EFP like people? Simple. Whenever you meet one (make sure it is an INTJ, not just some overly depressed and unhealthy ExFP), give them a hug. Watch as they squirm in shame and pleasure as you envelop and strangle them with your power of love. Give them a kiss of the cheeks, and watch them melt. Give a light pinch on their buttocks, and see the overkill.
3) How do we inject the hormones? Well after you have completed Step 2) of the process, you quickly grab the 'ABBA' or any other CD which is full of brightness and uses the word 'Sunshine' every five seconds. Put it on full volume. Put an aerobic video on the TV. If you do not have the supplies, use a personal demonstration (dance in front of them if you are really desperate). There is no need for any type of solution/medicine, because their minds will naturally make them as they perceive the environment (you!) and adapt.
4) How do we crush their inflated egos after that? Well, that is of course easy done. If you have completed Step 2) and 3) correctly, then there is no need to worry. They will crush it themselves. Watch as they conflict with themselves, and smile at the turmoil they're going through. A good song to listen to while snacking on a cookie is 'Smile' by Lily Allen. Fits the mood perfectly.
5) How do we train them so that they become so emotionally sensitive that they can even SMELL feelings? Well, after you have completed 2), 3) and 4) in that order, they would be so emotionally crippled that it'll be easy for you to twist them around your finger. Just give them a little push by saying nice things to them. Then give them rewards, even though they might seem over obnoxious. Pour your love out to them, and watch as they start saying nice things to people. You have witnessed a true miracle! They will work this out themselves, just give them the needed encouragement (hugs and kisses do well in this).
6) If by this stage their sick sense of humor and overused '69' jokes are still here, you can always shut them up with a nice roll of duct tape. Or even better, have protected sex.
7) By this stage they should be so well trained that they actually buy things for you, discusses things with you, and see you as some God. They will be willing to serve you and do anything you ask them to do.
Good luck on your hunting. I expect to see some corruption, I mean amazing results.
Thank you. Sorry, this thread was supposed to be humorous, so first, please don't take offense.