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  1. #41
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Goodness! All that testosterone has made you so selfish!
    "Pragmatic" is closer - if there were just nothing in it for me, I'd do it. But when there's usually nothing but repeated kicks in the teeth, my pragmatism overrides my altruism. It's a bit like how Cassandra must've felt
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  2. #42
    ThatGirl
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    To say there are no inherent differences between men and women is simply ludicrous.

    The other day I was watching So You Think You Can Dance with my boy (which he didn't seem all that into). When a cheerleader with long blond hair and big breasts took the stage. Before she even started dancing my son suddenly looked up at me and said "Mom, I love her." I was like......hm. She hadn't performed she hadn't done anything yet, he just simply saw her. I teased him a little then let it go. During the montage they were showing tid bits of other contestants, and my son points out "Her, I love her!." Only it was a different girl, long blond hair, skinny, pretty face, and big breasts. Than another one came on, and another one. He said the same thing each time.

    This got me thinking about the crushes I had as a child. None of them were based on looks. All were based on a character or personality. I liked funny or goofy guys who could do martial arts and take down the bad guys. I also liked, the nerds. Who I thought seemed to express more character than the average guy who mingled with his social circle. Men with talents.

    Anyway, I started to have the idea, and it makes sense, that men have an inherently superficial quality about them. Even the guy who is most in love with his partner will be attracted to other women (whether he acts on it or not) while women who really love their partner would probably not be attracted to other men. In this way women are capable of a deeper and less superficial (physical or sensory) connection than men are capable of tapping into.

    And this realization explained a LOT of frustration I have had over the years with men, even the most sensitive of them, still could not understand the most basic of dimensional concepts.

    Now before you guys go all hissy on me, know that I am talking about men and women, NOT this man or this woman. Naturally there will always be an exception to the rule, though if we discount repeditive patterns for the sake of 100% accuracy we fail to see much of what truely goes on. I am not speaking of the exception here, I am speaking of the general.

    Think back to the sorts of "crushes" you had as a child vs your gender.

    Anyway beside that point, even if men had enough of an understanding that this dynamic did exist and through their values system tried to step out of the social stereotype, this would only mean they had the male perspective of a female. And, I imagine they would be subjecting themselves to over compensating for the natural dynamic.

  3. #43
    Energizer Bunny Resonance's Avatar
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    TG, 'inherent' and 'general with exceptions' are pretty much incompatible.

    Hope this helps.
    The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together. ~ rCoxI ~ INfj ~ 5w6 so/sp

  4. #44
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blairvoyant View Post
    TG, 'inherent' and 'general with exceptions' are pretty much incompatible.

    Hope this helps.
    It is an inherent nature that people are born with two kidneys, though this is not always the case, it is most likely to occur.

  5. #45
    Energizer Bunny Resonance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    It is an inherent nature that people are born with two kidneys, though this is not always the case, it is most likely to occur.
    Being superficial isn't like having two kidneys.
    The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together. ~ rCoxI ~ INfj ~ 5w6 so/sp

  6. #46
    Epiphany
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    To say there are no inherent differences between men and women is simply ludicrous.

    The other day I was watching So You Think You Can Dance with my boy (which he didn't seem all that into). When a cheerleader with long blond hair and big breasts took the stage. Before she even started dancing my son suddenly looked up at me and said "Mom, I love her." I was like......hm. She hadn't performed she hadn't done anything yet, he just simply saw her. I teased him a little then let it go. During the montage they were showing tid bits of other contestants, and my son points out "Her, I love her!." Only it was a different girl, long blond hair, skinny, pretty face, and big breasts. Than another one came on, and another one. He said the same thing each time.

    This got me thinking about the crushes I had as a child. None of them were based on looks. All were based on a character or personality. I liked funny or goofy guys who could do martial arts and take down the bad guys. I also liked, the nerds. Who I thought seemed to express more character than the average guy who mingled with his social circle. Men with talents.

    Anyway, I started to have the idea, and it makes sense, that men have an inherently superficial quality about them. Even the guy who is most in love with his partner will be attracted to other women (whether he acts on it or not) while women who really love their partner would probably not be attracted to other men. In this way women are capable of a deeper and less superficial (physical or sensory) connection than men are capable of tapping into.

    And this realization explained a LOT of frustration I have had over the years with men, even the most sensitive of them, still could not understand the most basic of dimensional concepts.

    Now before you guys go all hissy on me, know that I am talking about men and women, NOT this man or this woman. Naturally there will always be an exception to the rule, though if we discount repeditive patterns for the sake of 100% accuracy we fail to see much of what truely goes on. I am not speaking of the exception here, I am speaking of the general.

    Think back to the sorts of "crushes" you had as a child vs your gender.

    Anyway beside that point, even if men had enough of an understanding that this dynamic did exist and through their values system tried to step out of the social stereotype, this would only mean they had the male perspective of a female. And, I imagine they would be subjecting themselves to over compensating for the natural dynamic.
    This was touched on in the PUA thread. Men do tend to be more visual, but beauty is subjective. Some men are attracted to thin women; some are attracted to heavier women. Looks are not irrelevant to most women either. As far as who is more superficial between men and women, in general, I would say that both are equally superficial in different ways. Women tend to be more materialistic and seek men who can provide them with possessions, and are more concerned about social status and where their men stand in relation to other men; whereas guys are superficial mostly concerning physical beauty.

    YouTube - Dave Chapelle - Men and Women Phsycology - Very True

    [YOUTUBE="5ZRflz-93JA"]Men and Women Psychology[/YOUTUBE]

  7. #47
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    GOTCHA, BITCH!
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  8. #48
    Energizer Bunny Resonance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MagnificentMind View Post
    GOTCHA, BITCH!
    Are these real leather seats?!?
    The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together. ~ rCoxI ~ INfj ~ 5w6 so/sp

  9. #49
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blairvoyant View Post
    Are these real leather seats?!?
    Those would be genuine world-class ostrich leather seats. Oh, and did you see the LCD largescreen sunroof and the glovebox minibar? *polishes the pure gold steering wheel*

    So, when am I getting laid? The trunk has a built-in flip-out heart-shaped water-filled sexy-bed in it.
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  10. #50
    Energizer Bunny Resonance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MagnificentMind View Post
    Those would be genuine world-class ostrich leather seats. Oh, and did you see the LCD largescreen sunroof and the glovebox minibar? *polishes the pure gold steering wheel*

    So, when am I getting laid? The trunk has a built-in flip-out heart-shaped water-filled sexy-bed in it.
    You're gonna need to get that food off your head, first.
    The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together. ~ rCoxI ~ INfj ~ 5w6 so/sp

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