User Tag List

12311 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 182

  1. #1
    Senior Member copperfish17's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sp/so
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    712

    Default Fellow NT's - Are you cold?

    Do you perceive yourself as a cold person? What is your definition of "cold"?

    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person?

    If you answered yes to the first question, does your coldness push people away?

    Are you warm to certain people only? If so, who are those people and why are you warm to them?

    (Also, dear Madmins: If this is a redundant thread, please delete it!)

    NF's, if you happen to stumble by:

    Do you think NT's are cold?

    Are your NT friends cold?

    How would you define "coldness"?
    Enneagram: 5w4 5-9-2 (5w4 9w1 2w1) sp/so

    "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." - Greg King
    The worst mistake people make in political arguments is assuming that the other side is not trying to do the right thing. This simple oversight makes productive conversation nearly impossible.

  2. #2
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    Not sure that I'm cold as much as disconnected from emotions when dealing with objective things, and as disconnected as I can be when dealing with subjective things. If others perceive that as cold I would be surprised, but I have been called unemotional in work environments before, I suspect that word is more apt.

    On the other side though, I don't consider myself a warm person, I keep most people at a distance. I'm friendly enough to not be seen as cold, but not inviting enough to be called warm. I don't think I show the people I care about some kind of warmth, it's more like I show them unguarded.

  3. #3
    figsfiggyfigs
    Guest

    Default

    In the words of Rick James.. " Cooold Bloodedddd"


    ...

    I'm refereed to as "cold", "cold hearted", "icy","emotionless","unfeeling", "heartless" "made of rock", "soulless" and other equivalent words a few times on a weekly basis.

    Mainly from my family, relatives, and some friends.

    I honestly don't believe I am, I think I just come off as such because I prefer to be as objective as possible, even when I'm involved in the situation.
    oh, and I don't fret/cry over the inevitable.

    So, although I don't believe I'm a cold,heartless bitch. A lot of people seem to think so.

    edit:

    I should add, when I meet new people I'm usually very polite and welcoming, or as much as I can allow myself to be without feeling uncomfortable.

  4. #4
    He who laughs
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    1,327

    Default

    I think people that know me well would consider me average warm as it is how I would like to be percieved. I would consider myself more of a frank person than cold person. If liking precision in thought from others then I guess I am a cold person.

    Cold is a person that do not care of others and what their effect has on said people. Cold is forcing your oppinion on others without respect for people. There might be other descriptors.

    cold   /koʊld/ Show Spelled [kohld] Show IPA adjective,-er, -est, noun, adverb
    –adjective

    4.lacking in passion, emotion, enthusiasm, ardor, etc.; dispassionate: cold reason.
    5.not affectionate, cordial, or friendly; unresponsive: a cold reply; a cold reception.
    6.lacking sensual desire: She remained cold to his advances.
    7.failing to excite feeling or interest: the cold precision of his prose.
    8.unexcitable; imperturbable: cold impassivity.
    9.depressing; dispiriting: the cold atmosphere of a hospital waiting room.
    According to this I am generally cold. But I dont consider myself like an extreme cold person. I do keep people at a certain distance yes.

  5. #5
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    584

    Default

    I think the most perceptive phrase that's been used about me by someone else is "deceptively warm"... I was actually glad they said that, cos it showed they were actually paying attention to who I really am, rather than look for what they wanted to see on the surface, those Ne masks, you know?

    I mean, I'm kind, I help people out, I'm friendly and usually at least appear sympathetic, even when I'm thinking "of course it went wrong, you fucking truncheon!"

    But it doesn't come from empathy or emotional attachment. Too many people assume it does, then spit all kinds of hell at me when their delusion's exposed by - oh, say... I decline an invitation to some party of theirs, cos, though I was happy to help them out as a fellow human being, I'd rather give birth to a chair than spend an evening socialising with them and their insufferable family.

    The other perceptive thing that was said about me was that though I'm a Good Person, I'm not always a Nice Person.

    Quote Originally Posted by You'reWrongI'mRight View Post
    I
    I'm refereed to as "cold", "cold hearted", "icy","emotionless","unfeeling", "heartless" "made of rock", "soulless" and other equivalent words a few times on a weekly basis.

    Mainly from my family, relatives, and some friends.
    Yeah I get shit like that still, though not so much any more... used to get it a LOT in my teens and 20's, but I've built up more Ne masks since then
    Now I get tedious eulogies about how warm and kind and passionate I am, which make me grind my teeth in despair, cos I know this person just really hasn't got the point of me at all. When they get to know me better, I get the "cold" and "heartless" shit sometimes...
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  6. #6
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    584

    Default

    Also, I think people confuse someone who doesn't wear their emotions on their sleeve with someone who doesn't HAVE any emotions.

    I've had people - always Feelers - say things to me that were crueller and ruder than anything I'd even dream of saying to another person, based on their assumption that, because I don't show them, I therefore have no feelings. And they said those things INTENDING to hurt me - to "get a rise" out of me. When I've said things to people that they found hurtful, it's not been out of malice but actually because I believed that a constructive purpose was to be served, that it was in their interest to face up to some unpalatable truth, and I've still tried to put it as diplomatically as possible without compromising accuracy and punching power.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  7. #7
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    ----
    Posts
    950

    Default

    'The thing with Dickie... it's like the sun shines on you, and it's glorious. And then he forgets you and it's very, very cold...when you have his attention, you feel like you're the only person in the world.' - marge from the talented mr ripley

  8. #8
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    2,008

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    Do you perceive yourself as a cold person? What is your definition of "cold"?
    Nope, I don't think so. Depends on who you're comparing me to, though. But on an average, pretty lukewarm, I'd say. Mother does not agree, though. But she's a softy.

    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person?
    Most of them do, even some family members and close friends. But I bet my bf has another story. I hope

    If you answered yes to the first question, does your coldness push people away?
    No, my "coldness" doesn't push people away, I think. But my directness has burned some bridges, though.

    Are you warm to certain people only? If so, who are those people and why are you warm to them?
    Yes, the bf and my only girlfriend. And I try to be towards my family. I want to say it depends on how they are towards me, and I sort of give the same energy back, but that's not true. My mom is the warmest person I know, the most caring, and she perceives me as cold. I don't know why certain people get a special treatment, maybe it's something special I feel for them. Maybe I detect a certain level of vulnerability in them, and so I can be vulnerable back? I really have no idea. Most likely, I find it draining to be warm (what is warm..??) towards people, so I save my energy for people I truly value. (I truly value my family, too. So I try).

  9. #9
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    ENTp
    Posts
    213

    Default

    no im very warm. its against your interests to be cold
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
    O:C:E:A:N :: 65:69:59:57:9

  10. #10
    Senior Member InsatiableCuriosity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    699

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    Do you perceive yourself as a cold person? What is your definition of "cold"?
    I don't think I am cold. More analytically dispassionate until I have all facts on a situation then I weigh up whether to apply compassion and assistance if needed.

    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person?
    My students and colleagues would probably say that I am empathetic and supportive however I have no time for colleagues or students who are unethical or have attention seeking personality disorders.

    If you answered yes to the first question, does your coldness push people away?
    I choose to remain at a distance from many people and only socially associate with family and a select few people with whom I can carry on a deep conversation.

    I am known as very dogged when it comes to dealing with bullies or people who make ignorant sweeping remarks and can be exceptionally cool and cutting but use clear reasoning in my comments.

    I served as Lecturers' Representative a few years back on the anti-bullying policy development group and frequently challenged people there - much to the delight of the college psychologist I might add.

    Are you warm to certain people only? If so, who are those people and why are you warm to them?
    I do seem to mentally cross some people off a mental association list based on my perception of their ethics, intellect and what is important to them.

    I also add people I admire to that mental list on the odd occasion but usually steer clear of friendships across hierarchical barriers where I work so that nothing compromises either of our positions or presents a conflict of interest. I look at them and think to myself "under other circumstances I think we could be friends".

    Those few people I admit to my inner circle believe me to be warm and I seem to be considered to be open and approachable by all colleagues and students. Must be the high EQ and Fi?
    "Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible."
    — Richard P. Feynman

    "Never tell a person a thing is impossible. G*d/the Universe may have been waiting all this time for someone ignorant enough of the impossibility to do just that thing."
    author unknown

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] [NT] Who are you easier to communicate with: NF or ST
    By Elaine in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 08-05-2014, 07:25 PM
  2. [NT] NT! Why are you ASSHOLES?
    By ThatGirl in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 210
    Last Post: 06-29-2009, 09:32 PM
  3. [NT] NTs . . . Why are You Messy?
    By Haight in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 112
    Last Post: 06-23-2009, 12:24 PM
  4. [NT] Question for NT Women - Are you a feminist?
    By Lauren Ashley in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 77
    Last Post: 03-06-2009, 04:48 PM
  5. [NT] NT, How Are You NOT Like Your Type Description?
    By SquirrelTao in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 78
    Last Post: 09-27-2008, 05:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO