User Tag List

First 5678917 Last

Results 61 to 70 of 182

  1. #61
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Posts
    1,065

    Default

    No. I am too curious and interested in the intricacies of the world to be considered cold. (Overly precise, efficient and to the point in many instances, maybe.) When in a quite common state of observation or deep in thought - when my "blank face" is on - yes.

    If I'm thinking and walking down the street, I look forbidding, even though it's entirely possible I'm pondering on how I miss real playgrounds and the jungle gym, doing flips off of the bars...

    Also, breaking into a random smile or grin - or laughing - after having a lack of expression for a while apparently creeps some people out.

  2. #62
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,582

    Default

    Do you perceive yourself as a cold person? What is your definition of "cold"?
    I likely fit most definitions of "cold" posted here. I am never quite sure exactly what is meant by "cold" and "warm" in describing interpersonal relations, though, perhaps partly since these designations are so subjective. As others have mentioned, I am personally turned off by overly "warm" people -- ones that are intrusive, overly intimate on first acquaintance, regale me with inane verbal diarrhea, insist upon touching. I can also often sense when an external warm appearance is not genuine, or worse, a mask for manipulation and deceit. Then it feels colder to me than blunt honesty.

    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person?
    I honestly do not know. I receive very little feedback from others. I have been called analytical, critical, harsh, detached, unemotional, but not that often. On the other hand, I am almost never called warm, friendly, caring, etc. etc.

    If you answered yes to the first question, does your coldness push people away?
    Probably, and if so, just as well for the most part. I tend to mind my own business and ignore others, beyond a basic situational awareness. Keeping people at a distance minimizes distraction from random, superficial encounters. People who really need to get my attention have no problem doing so.

    Are you warm to certain people only? If so, who are those people and why are you warm to them?I am probably warmer with close relatives and friends. By that, I mean a bit more relaxed and less formal; more likely to discuss personal matters and joke around, and to be physically affectionate. It is an issue of energy and privacy. I do not have the energy for the casual, superficial encounters that so many people seem to thrive on. I prefer to save it for those few close to me. Also, my personal, inner self is something I will share with only these select few. I am willing to share more parts of myself with them because we both find it rewarding, and it builds our relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    I mean, I'm kind, I help people out, I'm friendly and usually at least appear sympathetic, even when I'm thinking "of course it went wrong, you fucking truncheon!"

    But it doesn't come from empathy or emotional attachment. Too many people assume it does, then spit all kinds of hell at me when their delusion's exposed . . .

    The other perceptive thing that was said about me was that though I'm a Good Person, I'm not always a Nice Person.
    I have often made and felt this distinction myself. It bothers me sometimes when someone expresses overmuch thanks or appreciation for something I have done, when it is clear that they have not understood my motivation. I do try to help when I can, just not always for the reasons others expect, or would have in the same situation. I used to wonder if doing the right thing for the "wrong" reason devalued the action somehow, but the benefit to the individual helped was the same, so no matter.

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    This reminds me of something someone said to me recently: "It's like you're inside-out, you show your worst side. You're the opposite of most people - they act friendly and caring but really don't give a damn; you really give a damn but act like you don't care".
    Exactly. Sometimes people are surprised to find out not simply how much I do, in fact, care about some things; but also how much I will actually do to help. It is also sometimes easier to get what you want when you do not let on how much you do care about it.

  3. #63
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    584

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    A total lack of empathy does render a person more capable of cruelty, of course.
    If anything, it renders them LESS capable. When I think of my daughter (who has Asperger's), she's completely incapable of premeditated cruelty. She just doesn't have the ability to think that far ahead or that creatively. If you ask her how she could be cruel to someone, the most threatening thing she can come up with is "hide their Pokémon toys", and you have to talk her through the concept to get her that far.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  4. #64
    Energizer Bunny Resonance's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    740

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    If anything, it renders them LESS capable. When I think of my daughter (who has Asperger's), she's completely incapable of premeditated cruelty. She just doesn't have the ability to think that far ahead or that creatively. If you ask her how she could be cruel to someone, the most threatening thing she can come up with is "hide their Pokémon toys", and you have to talk her through the concept to get her that far.
    Asperger's makes you completely incapable of premeditated a-lot-of-things. This is not a good example.

    I'm also a little bit perturbed that you've actively tried to get her to think about it, but that's just me.
    The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together. ~ rCoxI ~ INfj ~ 5w6 so/sp

  5. #65
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    381

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    Do you perceive yourself as a cold person? What is your definition of "cold"?
    No I don't. My definition of cold has two parts lack of emotion and incapable empathy/sympathy for another person.

    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person?
    Yes they do...

    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    If you answered yes to the first question, does your coldness push people away?
    I don't consider myself cold but those that don't know me well do, and yes it pushes them away.

    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    Are you warm to certain people only? If so, who are those people and why are you warm to them?
    My best friends know me better so they don't perceive me as cold.


    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    Do you think NT's are cold?
    I think it depends.

    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    Are your NT friends cold?
    No, but other people accuse them of being cold as well.


    So personally I think the my friends and I are accused of being "cold" by others that don't know us because we are not fitting their definition of what a "warm" person should behave like. Personally I don't see a need to become emotional to prove that I am sorry about, understanding, sympathizing etc with whatever a person is going through. Just because someone doesn't express a feeling the same way as others doesn't mean that they are void of those feelings and thinking and acting with feelings is also not a prerequisite for actually having them. This is just my two cents.

  6. #66
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INTx
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    158

    Default

    Maybe. I don't really care.

  7. #67
    Senior Member ZPowers's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    1,492

    Default

    You can't be totally cold if you're full of hate. And MTV gets me seething in less than a minute at any time, so that's not too bad.
    Does he want a pillow for his head?

  8. #68
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    584

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Blairvoyant View Post
    Asperger's makes you completely incapable of premeditated a-lot-of-things. This is not a good example.
    No, it was a perfectly good example of why a lack of empathy does not necessarily or automatically make a person more capable of cruelty, and how it can in fact make them LESS capable of cruelty. Wherever that lack of empathy comes from, be it autism, a personality disorder, immaturity or self-absorption, the point still stands that it alone does not make a person more likely to be cruel. What I'm saying is that it's not wise to infer or predict other, unseen qualities in a person on the basis of those you have seen. It'd be no different to simply judging a person for what you merely theorise or imagine that they might do. We ought to be judged (if at all) by what we do, not by what somebody assumes we might do, based on something we can't do!

    I'm also a little bit perturbed that you've actively tried to get her to think about it, but that's just me.
    Ah no, you're not alone, parents of autistic kids get their strategies and methods judged by random, snarky strangers all the time. Just goes with the territory. None taken.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  9. #69
    Senior Member Nescio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    141

    Default

    Its a hundred degrees outside and the air in this room is broken... I'm rather hot.

    -Anyway-

    Do you perceive yourself as a cold person? What is your definition of "cold"?
    I try not to be cold. Being friendly is a better way to make the world more complelled to be nice to you.


    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person? I don't know. really.

    If you answered yes to the first question, does your coldness push people away?
    I'm going to say... yes... just because :P

    Are you warm to certain people only? If so, who are those people and why are you warm to them? I'm certainly am nicer to some people more than others... somepeople are just a pain to deal with... so you smile and nod and make no promises or offer anything

    (Also, dear Madmins: If this is a redundant thread, please delete it!)

    its just convenient when people have a good opinion of you.

    if you find that reason for friendlyness/warmness to be a little cold, I'd have to agree... especially because I'm not at all bothered by that.

  10. #70
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    3,466

    Default

    No, I am not cold.

    Yes, I appear cold.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] [NT] Who are you easier to communicate with: NF or ST
    By Elaine in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 08-05-2014, 07:25 PM
  2. [NT] NT! Why are you ASSHOLES?
    By ThatGirl in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 210
    Last Post: 06-29-2009, 09:32 PM
  3. [NT] NTs . . . Why are You Messy?
    By Haight in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 112
    Last Post: 06-23-2009, 12:24 PM
  4. [NT] Question for NT Women - Are you a feminist?
    By Lauren Ashley in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 77
    Last Post: 03-06-2009, 04:48 PM
  5. [NT] NT, How Are You NOT Like Your Type Description?
    By SquirrelTao in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 78
    Last Post: 09-27-2008, 05:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO