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  1. #31
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    Well, I don't see myself really as a cool person, but I know people see me often as one. Perhaps because I'm very reserved and don't like to give an emotional response. I'm actually very sensitive and aware of other people and their feelings and can easily become overwhelmed by them. And partly because of this I keep a distant, and yes, maybe I see myself then as cold. However, I have to say that people can also see me as a cold person when I'm actually very aware of the feelings of other people. Only because I have little facial expression and have a reserved attitude. If a friend comes to me with a personal issue I would rather ask questions about it in a therapeutic way than give a emotional response. I see myself then as a warm person, I only try to help and give comfort (in my own way), but I can imagine other people see this as cold.
    Personality type: INTJ Enneagramtype: 5w4 Neurodiversity: Asperger's Syndrome
    The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for. - Oscar Wilde

  2. #32
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Do you think NT's are cold?
    Not in my experience, then there's the 0 law of thermodynamics...

    Are your NT friends cold?
    If they are I'm worse

    How would you define "coldness"?
    Something other Fs seem to call me once in a while
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #33
    Priestess Of Syrinx Katsuni's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by copperfish17 View Post
    Do you perceive yourself as a cold person?
    Kind of.

    What is your definition of "cold"?
    If warmth is emotional, then cold would be lack of emotion during times which call for emotion, such as at a funeral or when helping someone who's distressed emotionally.




    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person?
    Oddly enough, not really. I can be understanding, and I do take a personal role of attempting to help, but my help is not of the emotional variety; if someone's crying over something, I'm not likely to cry with them or lend a shoulder to lean on, moreso I'd explain the situation, and walk them through rationalizing why it really isn't that big of a deal. I've found that this works far, far better on most people than just listening and being 'warm'. It's technically being 'cold' though, since it doesn't involve emotion, empathy, nor sympathy.



    If you answered yes to the first question, does your coldness push people away?
    Think the above answer should cover this.

    Are you warm to certain people only? If so, who are those people and why are you warm to them?
    There are only a few rare individuals who get to see me in my emotional moments, I'm not sure that would necessitate being 'warm' though. "warm" in the way most people define it, I don't think I really do all that well.

  4. #34
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Cold? Emotionally, yes. If I look emotional it's usually me making a point about how I'm not (Fake crying and such).

    I also agree that most would consider me good, but not nice. I hide my niceness within a thick shell of sarcasm. I try to be understanding of peoples reactions to events, but it is very difficult for me to relate. This could mostly be because I have no experience with major life events, though.

    I agree with Katsuni on advice giving. I will only lend a shoulder to those I feel affection towards, but usually I will figure out a way to get you out of this mess. I do this with close friends usually, if they come for my help. I don't like pressuring my advice unless I feel it necessary. However I don't believe I'm on the first of most peoples lists to go to when advice is needed. Whether it's because the advice is good or not I do not know.

  5. #35
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post

    I agree with Katsuni on advice giving. I will only lend a shoulder to those I feel affection towards, but usually I will figure out a way to get you out of this mess.
    Yeah, something that often baffles me completely is when someone somehow construes my sincere offering of advice as me putting them down? Like "you're just making me feel stupid" or something? WTF?

    However I don't believe I'm on the first of most peoples lists to go to when advice is needed. Whether it's because the advice is good or not I do not know.
    I think perhaps it's because people don't really tend to turn to other people for advice. They might look like they are doing, but really they're looking for sympathy most of the time, they don't really want advice and even if they ask verbally for it and get it, even if it's good advice, they rarely ever follow it. People tend to do whatever they like most of the time. So if they want to "turn to" somebody, it's usually somebody they consider sympathetic. They want validation.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  6. #36
    Oberon
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    I used to be a clockwork man inside, all whirring gears and wheels for a mind... that was when I was younger. At 43 I have warmed up considerably.

  7. #37
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I suppose affection just isn't our first course of action, which discomforts most other people.

  8. #38
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    I've been called cold. I took her to the prom anyway.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Do you perceive yourself as a cold person? What is your definition of "cold"?

    No.

    Inability to feel an emotional connection to people and inability to express that feeling.

    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person?

    I think most of them don't. Perhaps when they only know me in work-related or intellectual contexts they see me as a little colder.

    If you answered yes to the first question, does your coldness push people away?

    Nope, I don't think so. I think they'd sooner say I'm weird than cold.

    Are you warm to certain people only? If so, who are those people and why are you warm to them?

    I get warmer, sometimes I burn loved ones, but I don't only save my warmth for them. Simple kindness in day to day life can be very rewarding.

    [YOUTUBE="X75mry1LcFg"]hot n cold[/YOUTUBE]

  10. #40
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Yeah, I would say the advice I give is often taken as "You just think I'm stupid don't you!" then the wtf expression quickly follows.

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