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  1. #11
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You'reWrongI'mRight View Post
    I'm refereed to as "cold", "cold hearted", "icy","emotionless","unfeeling", "heartless" "made of rock", "soulless" and other equivalent words a few times on a weekly basis.
    What about robot/android? That's my fav.

    So, although I don't believe I'm a cold,heartless bitch. A lot of people seem to think so.
    +1
    People I'm close to don't perceive me as cold (or so they say) but most everyone else, yeah, pretty much.

    I haven't really given much thought to what it means. Can't say I've ever thought of someone being cold as a bad thing (unlike "heartless bitch", which is less.. equivocal). It's not synonymous with cruelty. It's about energy. How much emotional energy one emits. Some people have superior insulation.
    Funny that warmth is universally regarded as a positive trait. Sometimes, overly warm people make me uncomfortable. As in "I think I'll just step outside for a bit...".
    *runs*
    Quote Originally Posted by strawberries View Post
    'The thing with Dickie... it's like the sun shines on you, and it's glorious. And then he forgets you and it's very, very cold...when you have his attention, you feel like you're the only person in the world.' - marge from the talented mr ripley
    Dickie's an NT???
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  2. #12
    Senior Member InsatiableCuriosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    ...Sometimes, overly warm people make me uncomfortable. As in "I think I'll just step outside for a bit...".
    *runs*
    absolutely ditto!!
    "Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible."
    — Richard P. Feynman

    "Never tell a person a thing is impossible. G*d/the Universe may have been waiting all this time for someone ignorant enough of the impossibility to do just that thing."
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  3. #13
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    It's not synonymous with cruelty. It's about energy. How much emotional energy one emits. Some people have superior insulation.
    I love that way of putting it!

    An important distinction, that is. I think "warm" people sort of fear a person who seems not to have, or show feelings, and assume that this renders them more capable of cruelty...
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  4. #14
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Dickie's an NT???
    i'm not sure - i haven't read the book in a long time. but, this thread reminded me of that dialogue from the film. i know i can be like that. ON or off.

  5. #15
    Senior Member InsatiableCuriosity's Avatar
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    Just thought I would expand on my ditto comment - my dad who is now in his 70s is a bipolar ENFP and was a social butterfly, serial ladies' man and the life of the party. He was also very strongly bipolar.

    Whenever we were out together he would assume intimate friendship with anyone and everyone, even those he had just met, dropped names like blazes and very loudly had to be the center of attention.

    My INTPness wanted to crawl into a crevice whenever he stood up in a restaurant and began to sing Volare - very loudly, with a dreadful voice.
    "Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible."
    — Richard P. Feynman

    "Never tell a person a thing is impossible. G*d/the Universe may have been waiting all this time for someone ignorant enough of the impossibility to do just that thing."
    author unknown

  6. #16
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InsatiableCuriosity View Post
    Whenever we were out together he would assume intimate friendship with anyone and everyone, even those he had just met, dropped names like blazes and very loudly had to be the center of attention.
    I know someone like that. It's ironic, cos people call him "warm" and "caring", yet his warmth doesn't really have much to do with caring at all... it's more about being desperate to get attention and have people like, think and speak well of him. In all the years I've known him, I've never known him send a single birthday or Christmas card... he'll always use the excuse that he was too broke.... pretty lame. And he will try to con you if he can; he'll have the shirt off your back if he thinks he can get it without you noticing.

    When people meet us together, they see him as the warm, friendly one and me as the cold, distant one. They instantly like him and distrust me. When they get to know us better and deal with us over a period of time, invariably, they gradually cut off ties with him and prefer to deal with me... which speaks for itself, I think.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  7. #17
    Senior Member
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    On the inside I am approximately 37 °C, which corresponds to ~99 °F for you silly Americans.

  8. #18
    Senior Member InsatiableCuriosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    I know someone like that. It's ironic, cos people call him "warm" and "caring", yet his warmth doesn't really have much to do with caring at all... it's more about being desperate to get attention and have people like, think and speak well of him. In all the years I've known him, I've never known him send a single birthday or Christmas card... he'll always use the excuse that he was too broke.... pretty lame. And he will try to con you if he can; he'll have the shirt off your back if he thinks he can get it without you noticing.

    When people meet us together, they see him as the warm, friendly one and me as the cold, distant one. They instantly like him and distrust me. When they get to know us better and deal with us over a period of time, invariably, they gradually cut off ties with him and prefer to deal with me... which speaks for itself, I think.
    Almost sounds like sociopathic tendency too???

    This is very interesting - Dad holds grudges and now suffers from persecution complex and gathers "evidence" that people are out to get him.

    I have just caught up with someone who was a babysitter when I was a child and she remembers dad as a warm and sociable person whereas my own perspective has been to draw away from him and his over-the-top extraverted feeling. I now feel sorry for him that his need for attention has evolved to where it is now.

    You would have to also feel sorry for your friend being this way - I think it would be awful to be so insecure as to constantly need external validation like he does!
    "Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible."
    — Richard P. Feynman

    "Never tell a person a thing is impossible. G*d/the Universe may have been waiting all this time for someone ignorant enough of the impossibility to do just that thing."
    author unknown

  9. #19
    Riva
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    How about others? Do they perceive you as a cold person?
    The most rational of the rationals are the INTPs?

    Detached and cold they might appear, but this I have noticed is more appearance than fact. Ne nor Ti crave to be warm and warm they not. And they are not hug expecting bunnies but they crave for some warmth just like all other types. Not so cold afterall.

  10. #20
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say cold. It's not an active, conscious maliciousness that others [not anyone here] seem to think, or how they use the term. I've been called that before. Usually take it as a compliment, actually. It's just the general absence of emotional energy one way or the other.

    With some friends and especially the GF, I'm "warm" I suppose. I smile. I joke. I poke fun. I put on the goofy hat. A nice release. Although once interaction moves beyond lighter conversation and into a more serious realm, it all goes out the window.



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