User Tag List

First 678910 Last

Results 71 to 80 of 113

  1. #71
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Orpheus View Post
    Look, I'm not marginalizing pregnancy (I wouldn't want to do it), but you seem to be insinuating that men don't sacrifice anything. Personality types aside, women tend to be a tad more emotional than men. I know it sounds like misogyny, but even the most grounded women seem to be in a constant state of emotional flux. As a man, a sex that does not have a monthly cycle, this can be stressful. I'm not just talking about PMS. I'm talking about the entire cycle, every month. I love women, I respect women, I think in most ways you are superior creatures to men, but the emotional rollercoaster takes its toll. Not to mention the fact that, if you decide to end your marriage or relationship (at least in this day and age), the man will more than likely be supremely fucked by the court system. Both sexes are gambling when they decide to marry and procreate.
    There are different things each gender has to deal with, and men do have the disadvantages you state. However, I'm seen and experienced marriage and child-rising close up and from lots of different angles... and typically the female takes a lot more responsibility over the children in the hands-on care, while the male has more flexibilty in just being able to bail and disappear when he wants... especiall on an informal level. (The kids are crying? Just hide in the office or ignore it long enough and Mom usually picks up the ball. Not working? Disappear down to the grocery or the hardware store or somewhere else on a convenient errand. Kids are sick? Mom changes her schedule to get them to the doctor and rearranges her day and meanwhile spends the day with a whiny sick child. Some men step up to the plate... but sometimes they can't due to their jobs, and it's still a tendency for women to intervene first or carry the bulk of the kid-raising load.)

    It's just the way it works, especially considering how women are connected more intimately to the children even before they are born and tend to intervene a lot sooner to supply their needs. A lot of those rules that you are complaining about were developed to compensate for the reality that the woman often bears a lot more personal responsibility for the child just by nature, and she needs reassurance that she'll have the resources she needs if the man disappears.

    But it's sort of beside the point of the thread, and I'm not sure how we got on the topic. I mean, men can have an idea of what they want in a mate too, and this was just a thread for NT women's concept of a good mate (if there is such a thing).
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #72
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    1,292

    Default

    Why do women value sense of humour so much? I never got that, or heard a good explanation. If you ask men to make a list for a relationship, I bet very few will list of humour as a fundamental issue.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  3. #73
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    8,193

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    Why do women value sense of humour so much? I never got that, or heard a good explanation. If you ask men to make a list for a relationship, I bet very few will list of humour as a fundamental issue.



  4. #74
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    Why do women value sense of humour so much? I never got that, or heard a good explanation. If you ask men to make a list for a relationship, I bet very few will list of humour as a fundamental issue.
    I dunno, but it showed up in some recent articles I've read. Women seem to be attracted to men who make them laugh, men more to women who laugh at their jokes.

    A sense of humor in guys usually suggests wit/intelligence, the ability to play and have fun, the ability to engage others, it can suggest creativity, maybe even laugh at himself. I find men interesting who are fun and open, and sense of humor goes along with that. A guy who doesn't have a sense of humor might potentially be anal, closed, mean, dull-witted, one-dimensional, slow.

    I've hung out with more traditional women for whom security, consistency, and dependability are more important and their husbands can easily be more stoic and serious-minded. They are risk-avoidant by nature. Humor is a risk in that your joke might fail, so it can show confidence in taking chances and asserting oneself even on that minor level.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #75
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    1,158

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Well, we do invest more than our share in the offspring - large eggs, the mitochondria, the gestation and more often than not the upbringing too.
    It's not more than fair that we're choosy for the man whose genes gets to ride on the rollercoaster of life, when we deliver most of the energy for that rollercoaster ride.
    True. I was only joking. I have standards also.
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  6. #76
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    15

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post

    But it's sort of beside the point of the thread, and I'm not sure how we got on the topic. I mean, men can have an idea of what they want in a mate too, and this was just a thread for NT women's concept of a good mate (if there is such a thing).
    It's bound to happen. You didn't expect all the men to sit idly by did ya?

    In response to the poster who thinks men don't look for funny... I do. It's not a requirement, but a clever girl is extremely attractive to me.

  7. #77
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    1,292

    Default

    A sense of humor in guys usually suggests wit/intelligence, the ability to play and have fun, the ability to engage others, it can suggest creativity, maybe even laugh at himself. I find men interesting who are fun and open, and sense of humor goes along with that. A guy who doesn't have a sense of humor might potentially be anal, closed, mean, dull-witted, one-dimensional, slow.
    Yeah mean I wouldn't want to date someone hwo had no sense of humour at all. But I guess my view is that 95% of the population has a sense of humour so it seems a bit redundant.

    I've hung out with more traditional women for whom security, consistency, and dependability are more important and their husbands can easily be more stoic and serious-minded. They are risk-avoidant by nature. Humor is a risk in that your joke might fail, so it can show confidence in taking chances and asserting oneself even on that minor level.
    hmm that makes sense.

    I wonder also if it has something to do with being in a male-dominated society, so it's expected that it's up to the man to introduce humour or not, and women are more socially expected not to.

    Because for a man I guess it's a bit more like - if I find something funny I'll laugh and the other person probably will too, and if there's ntohing funny I won't laugh and neither will they. Maybe for a woman it's more determined by what the man does because of social expectation.

    Anyways apologies for the tangent I had just wondered why this "dealbreaker" always crops up.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  8. #78
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    1,764

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Orpheus View Post
    Look, I'm not marginalizing pregnancy (I wouldn't want to do it), but you seem to be insinuating that men don't sacrifice anything.
    That was not my intention. I just put it strongly to make my point clear... the fact that men do have to make sacrifices too is a retaliation by the women. If you don't build me a nest (...) you won't get my egg.
    Personality types aside, women tend to be a tad more emotional than men. I know it sounds like misogyny,
    No, it isn't, unless you see "emotional" as an insult.
    but even the most grounded women seem to be in a constant state of emotional flux. As a man, a sex that does not have a monthly cycle, this can be stressful. I'm not just talking about PMS. I'm talking about the entire cycle, every month.
    True. Still, women can be emotional for other reasons than their hormones.
    I love women, I respect women, I think in most ways you are superior creatures to men, but the emotional rollercoaster takes its toll. Not to mention the fact that, if you decide to end your marriage or relationship (at least in this day and age), the man will more than likely be supremely fucked by the court system.
    And this is sad. It's as unjust as the glass ceiling, and probably comes from the same origin.
    "Women aren't strong enough to work high-level jobs.
    Women aren't strong, so the reason for ending a relationship must lie with the man."
    Both sexes are gambling when they decide to marry and procreate.
    True. Men are the low-cost high-risk gamblers; women the high-cost low-risk gamblers. An egg is much rarer than a sperm.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  9. #79
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    1,764

    Default

    Whoa, what happened to the thread while I was composing my answer?
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  10. #80
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    15

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    If you don't build me a nest (...) you won't get my egg.
    Jesus... that's a good line. I guess the healthy male perspective is: If you don't henpeck the living shit out of me, I'll build you the finest nest I'm capable of. Or maybe that's just me.

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] The NF Females' List of Deal Breakers
    By Esoteric Wench in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 452
    Last Post: 03-19-2013, 09:16 AM
  2. [NF] The NF Males' List of Deal Breakers (Rip off)
    By Yloh in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 115
    Last Post: 07-05-2010, 05:22 PM
  3. [NT] NT men list of shit they's put up with... in chicks
    By murkrow in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 06-13-2010, 01:37 AM
  4. [NT] NT women list of shit they put up with from men.
    By ThatGirl in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 06-12-2010, 02:10 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO