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  1. #1
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    Default Why is my response to other peoples crying to cry?

    Empathy? Sure. But I'm definately a 'thinking' type personality. And I guess you might think it could be hormonal but it couldn't possibly be because it happens everytime without fail. Then I will laugh cos I'm crying too, and yeah... wierdo. Not very helpful either. It's been happening for about the last 10 years and I'm just wondering how this fits with my type. Have other 'T's experienced anything similar?

  2. #2
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Hm. I think I'm not a very empathetic person. I'm trying hard to get there though. I need to understand the reason as to why they are feeling sad/unhappy in order to honestly emphasize. And the reason needs to be somewhat relevant to me. Also, it helps if I value their reason.

    My crying response is more likely triggered by happy people! Inspiring ideas, inspiring people. Bravery, altruism. Positive emotions trigger tears in me. I don't know. For instance, I can't finish a song if it inspires me.

    I think when I see a sad face, my problem solving instincts are turned on to max. Also, I don't think it will help if I also break down and cry, so I don't. And I think it's immaturity too. I don't like to show my vulnerability out in the open, so I'll fight tears automatically. Also, when I cry, I do it alone. Those moments aren't shared.

    I can understand the crying and laughing combo. Sometimes when your own response is so weird and bizarre, you can't help but to laugh.

  3. #3
    Member TiNe_2_IP's Avatar
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    I do this all the time but not really when I have a flesh and blood person crying in front of me.
    I do it when I watch films or TV, especially reality TV. Like a reunion on Oprah or someone in Masterchef who has just been voted out and they are talking about how they were inspired by their grandmother or family members turning up on Survivor! Yeah and I bawled my eyes out when I watched Steel Magnolias and the Notebook and Lassie Come Home.
    I try to hide it when others are in the room watching too because I get embarrassed, so I kind of secretly love it when I am by myself and I can really let it out and have a good howl.
    I never, ever cry for myself in front of others.

    Weirdly, as Salt n' Pepper said I tend to cry more for: 'happy people! Inspiring ideas, inspiring people. Bravery, altruism. Positive emotions trigger tears in me. I don't know. For instance, I can't finish a song if it inspires me.'
    Though this did happen more when I was younger, I remembering crying in a Rocky movie when I was 15. As I get older I cry more for the helpless and the innocent and the hopelessness in situations.
    God I didn't know I cried so much.
    Last edited by TiNe_2_IP; 06-01-2010 at 06:34 AM. Reason: wanted to add
    'It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here.... The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.' Trinity

    Agent Brown: 'Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.'

    'Maybe the questions are right, we just don't like the answers'

  4. #4
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TiNe_2_IP View Post
    As I get older I cry more for the helpless and the innocent and the hopelessness in situations.
    Yes. For instance, animal cruelty and unprovoked violence are things that can make my eyes fill up.

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I'm in the middle of a semi-breakup (due to my recent move), and when he was getting ready to leave, i started crying, then started laughing over how i was crying, then started bawling. it just happened.

    yes, i think hormones can impact it. i was out of whack hormonally for years and never cried much; now my levels are in normal ranges & i cry regularly if something moves me.it's much easier to cry when sad and i can't avoid it. Mentally i still feel much the same, but my emotions and body seem more tightly connected now.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
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    I'm VERY empathetic. When I want to be.

    I'm good at understanding why someone feels the way they do, what led to it, why it happened, etc.
    I make a good listener, because I will sit there, listen, put myself in your shoes/situation and imagine how I would feel if I was YOU and not me( thus, I don't perceive a situation like I usually would).

    This leads me to have an easy understanding of my friends, who they are, and what they want and need.

    SO when one of them is crying, I am completely empathetic.

    However. I am rarely sympathetic. I'm just terrible at that... I will understand(feelings) why they're crying , I will not feel bad that you are crying, hence, I will not cry with you. Unless it's something terrible( usually something completely out of the persons control).

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    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Fi's a bitch that way

    Feel the pain of another..quite literally (or that's how it feels )
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  8. #8
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You'reWrongI'mRight View Post
    I'm VERY empathetic. When I want to be.

    I'm good at understanding why someone feels the way they do, what led to it, why it happened, etc.
    I make a good listener, because I will sit there, listen, put myself in your shoes/situation and imagine how I would feel if I was YOU and not me( thus, I don't perceive a situation like I usually would).

    This leads me to have an easy understanding of my friends, who they are, and what they want and need.

    SO when one of them is crying, I am completely empathetic.

    However. I am rarely sympathetic. I'm just terrible at that... I will understand(feelings) why they're crying , I will not feel bad that you are crying, hence, I will not cry with you. Unless it's something terrible( usually something completely out of the persons control).
    oh. sympathetic vs empathetic. I thought it was the other way around. To be empathetic, you can actually, or easily feel for/with the other person. Sympathetic, is well, being nice about someone else feeling sad.

  9. #9
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Mirror Neurons! Still hypothetical at this point, but I just blame it on that.

    I also have a weird thing with eyes. I see people tear up, I start tearing up. For me, doesn't have to deal with empathy or sympathy, I don't feel what they're feeling or feel bad for them, I just start copying their behavior. A drawback of my tendency to socially mimic I suppose.



  10. #10
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Empathy is more intuitive to me (imagining yourself in the other's shoes).

    Sympathy is more about feeling what the other feels, or putting your emotions (rather than your mind or imagination) in sync.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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