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Thread: Why is my response to other peoples crying to cry?

  1. #21
    Member Array TiNe_2_IP's Avatar
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    Nov 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    ......Or did I screw it up?
    Well you're a great help!
    'It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here.... The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.' Trinity

    Agent Brown: 'Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.'

    'Maybe the questions are right, we just don't like the answers'

  2. #22


    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    *raises hand*

    ^ We're screwed!!!!!!!!

  3. #23
    So tired... Array Amargith's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
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    Hey I'm just being humble, stuck in a room filled with T's who are completely nitpicky when it comes to semantics!

    I stand by my post though!

  4. #24
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    549 sx/sp
    LII Ni


    I don't even care about what the definitions are of these two terms, i just think it's useful to distinguish between a pathwayof immediately being in emotional sync with someone, versus a more detached projection into the other that might not include feeling specifically what they're feeling but being able to IMAGINE it with accuracy.

    (My isfj mom does the former by nature but she usually has no larger awareness or perspective, where i m far more apt to do the latter. so if a child falls and skins his knee, she's far more apty to respond as if the pain was her own; i'm far more apt to imagine the pain but i never identify it as mine.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #25
    ¡MI TORTA! Array Amethyst's Avatar
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    May 2010
    7w8 so/sx
    SLE Ti


    I usually just walk away if someone's crying just to cry. I'll ask them what's up, they'll be like, nothing, and I'll just say, okay, and leave. Although I do have a tendency to do the same, usually around people for some reason. I can't do it alone...I probably unconsciously just want attention lol.

  6. #26
    Aquaria Array mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Jan 2010
    3w4 sp/so


    Quote Originally Posted by Cindy View Post
    Empathy? Sure. But I'm definately a 'thinking' type personality. And I guess you might think it could be hormonal but it couldn't possibly be because it happens everytime without fail. Then I will laugh cos I'm crying too, and yeah... wierdo. Not very helpful either. It's been happening for about the last 10 years and I'm just wondering how this fits with my type. Have other 'T's experienced anything similar?
    Are you doing it intentionally to present yourself in a proper compassionate light?

    It's a perfectly normal thing. Just watch The Hills.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
    Lawful Evil


  7. #27


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    yes, i think hormones can impact it. i was out of whack hormonally for years and never cried much; now my levels are in normal ranges & i cry regularly if something moves's much easier to cry when sad and i can't avoid it. Mentally i still feel much the same, but my emotions and body seem more tightly connected now.
    Very interesting, because the exact opposite process has happened for me, going the other way to you, if you know what I mean? I mean, that my hormones have made me less empathic and even less able to cry, but my emotions and body seem more tightly connected for it...
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  8. #28
    Member Array
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    Jun 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Salt n' pepper View Post
    My crying response is more likely triggered by happy people! Inspiring ideas, inspiring people. Bravery, altruism. Positive emotions trigger tears in me. I don't know. For instance, I can't finish a song if it inspires me.

    I think when I see a sad face, my problem solving instincts are turned on to max. Also, I don't think it will help if I also break down and cry, so I don't. And I think it's immaturity too. I don't like to show my vulnerability out in the open, so I'll fight tears automatically. Also, when I cry, I do it alone. Those moments aren't shared.

    I can understand the crying and laughing combo. Sometimes when your own response is so weird and bizarre, you can't help but to laugh.
    I know what you mean with inspiring people and inspiring ideas. I tend to be triggered in movies with things like bravery as well. It comes with a similar intensity and momentary lack of control.

    On this occasion I think I felt empathy. So many thoughts flew through my head in even par with feelings and some kind of panic which built like a wave. I thought, oh crap she feels like this, and she's worried about that, and I know how that feels, and shes soooo sad right now... thats horrible. And then I was crying at a distance until I registered her look of shock and then someone said "why are you crying?" and I started to laugh cos I must have been embarrassed that everyone was looking at me crying and didn't seem to be able to look away, and then I laughed some more cos I realised how weird I was looking.

    In hindsight it was a bit arrogant of me to think I could read her mind so much. How the hell would I know for sure what another person is feeling and thinking, and with what intensity! I assume whenever anyone crys it must be a tragedy for them because thats the only time I would be crying (if I ever did cry because of my own emotions).

    Most times my tears seem to be just tears in response to tears, so at times it could just be that I'm mirroring behaviour.

    Usually I don't know the feeling behind someones crying cos I haven't been there myself and this is what I understand to be sympathy. As far as I can remember I've never cried because I've fallen over and skinned my knee so I doubt I would have any empathy, or even sympathy, for such pysical pain. Actually I'd probably feel like laughing if I saw someone fall over. And then someone would call me a bitch.

    I wasn't trying to be nice but I think she likes me more now cos she had some kind of a brief insight. She will be disappointed when it never happens quite like that again.

    Thanks for your thoughts everyone!

  9. #29
    Pumpernickel Array
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    Aug 2009


    hmm doesnt happen to me. I'm probably more likely to cry if they ARENT crying but i feel like they should be

  10. #30
    One day and the next Array Rainne's Avatar
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    Mar 2010


    My response to someone crying is to ask why they're crying and if i can't fix it, i leave them alone.

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