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  1. #61
    Senior Member JHBowden's Avatar
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    How do I DECLINGIFY him, and what's his real type??
    I know this guy's type: beta male.

    That he'll be dumped is inevitable; no advice is necessary!

    mrcockburn, the bf needs to grow a pair. He should have kicked your ass to the curb after your Brazil stunt. He sounds like a mangina trying to keep you and please you in every way, as if your value is 100x of his. You could give him advice, but he'd probably obey you and follow your advice fastidiously, which would make things even more pathetic.

    In short, he's being gooey where the pimp hand is needed, and he's breaking out the pimp hand when nonchalance is required.

    :pornstar:

  2. #62
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JHBowden View Post
    I know this guy's type: beta male.

    That he'll be dumped is inevitable; no advice is necessary!

    mrcockburn, the bf needs to grow a pair. He should have kicked your ass to the curb after your Brazil stunt. He sounds like a mangina trying to keep you and please you in every way, as if your value is 100x of his. You could give him advice, but he'd probably obey you and follow your advice fastidiously, which would make things even more pathetic.

    In short, he's being gooey where the pimp hand is needed, and he's breaking out the pimp hand when nonchalance is required.

    :pornstar:
    I have a right to go where I want when I want without telling anyone (except for my boss of course). I'm not 7 years old, and he's not my dad...or pimp daddy.

  3. #63
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    You certainly have that right, but normally if a relationship is going well, you wouldn't want your SO to be worried about you and you also would just let them know so that they feel they are an important part of your life. In your case, I can understand why you didn't, but it should indicate to you that something in the relationship is not good.

  4. #64
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    I have a right to go where I want when I want without telling anyone (except for my boss of course). I'm not 7 years old, and he's not my dad...or pimp daddy.
    sure...if you're casually dating someone and not in the habit of informing each other about your lives but in a relationship things are different and you do include each other in such things...i can't imagine many people feeling differently about it.

    have you dated people in the past that would have no issue with it?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #65
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    I broke up with him via email, laid everything out, and told him to email me back ONCE only to confirm receipt of the email. I made it crystal clear - if he continues to attempt contact with me or anyone solely affiliated to me, I would report the matter to appropriate authorities.

    I had in fact, discussed my issues with his clinginess with him, and he'd always chill for a while and then slowly start back up, getting even worse than before. I don't have the patience to deal with this anymore. I certainly am not perfect - I've been messing around a little bit with other guys, but that's only because he drove me so nuts.

    Funny how one of you mentioned Spencer Pratt...three separate people commented on that about him too. LOL

    And his name's not Luciano, it's another romance-language name.

  6. #66
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    sure...if you're casually dating someone and not in the habit of informing each other about your lives but in a relationship things are different and you do include each other in such things...i can't imagine many people feeling differently about it.

    have you dated people in the past that would have no issue with it?
    Yeah, especially this one ESTP I used be involved with. It was what people would consider a "relationship", but both of us were big travelers, and it was to be expected that one of us would go wherever whenever we felt like it. It was great, lots of freedom. But even then we'd email each other sometimes when we stopped by an internet cafe - but that's because we didn't have to worry about the other going bonkershit mad because we left without them.

    (OK, I probably butchered the shit out of the grammar in this paragraph, but it's too early for consistent direct objects or whatever lol...)

  7. #67
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    I'd like to point out that it's T's that are clingy not F's. F's know their emotions, T's, especially those with inferior F cognative functions, don't. As a result they try to engage emotions as much as they can on their terms at times which may be inappropriate to others.

    He makes lists and schedules? Are you sure he isn't an SJ? Do ENTJ's make lists? I sure as shit don't.

    For me personally, when I'm away from women it's often out of site out of mind with me. I know that my Fe will pick up right where it left off, emotions are easy to deal with and Ni Se will see some brilliant solution to any pitfalls I may have with the other person.

    When I'm alone, like right now I like to engage my Ni and Ti, a quest which has little to do with emotions and more to do with clarity of perception.

    I know this was a little OT but I hope it helps!
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  8. #68
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    Yeah, especially this one ESTP I used be involved with. It was what people would consider a "relationship", but both of us were big travelers, and it was to be expected that one of us would go wherever whenever we felt like it. It was great, lots of freedom. But even then we'd email each other sometimes when we stopped by an internet cafe - but that's because we didn't have to worry about the other going bonkershit mad because we left without them.

    (OK, I probably butchered the shit out of the grammar in this paragraph, but it's too early for consistent direct objects or whatever lol...)
    That was an exception. going to Brazil for two weeks and not telling your partner is not very normal. I would consider it a deliberate provocation - which seeing his behaviour is perhaps what you intended it as?

    Just sayin'.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  9. #69
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Lol, brazil. I thought you guys where talking about sleeping around rather than traveling. I was like, "I know perceivers can be nonchalant about many things but seriously! Who are these ppl I'm talking to? No wonder that guy is going off the deep end if his girl is sleeping around!" Teaches me that I should read more of the posts before I come to conclusions :P
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  10. #70
    ThatGirl
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    Sounds to me like you did him a favor.

    *Sorry was just deleting some old posts and stumbled on this thread.

    What stuck out in your OP to me was the fact that he didn't act like this with other people. Then as I read through the thread I started noticing a theme of you jumping on the defense every time someone has called you out on anything. I also noticed that everything you referenced was as it pertained to you.

    I think you probably both contributed to a toxic cycle. I get the idea that you are attracted to his obsession when you want it. You probably alternate between appreciation and pushing. Example, encourage his behavior when you want it around, keeping him in place while you fuck around on the side. I also think he probably gets frustrated, specially if you know he needs/wants more from you and is a regimented control freak.

    Eh, I am not going to get too much into it, but the whole situation wreaks of ick.

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