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  1. #41
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    I've been seeing him for a year. I met him in an outdoor concert, when he had tripped over my friends and I lying on the grass.

    He's intelligent, fun, and attractive in a quirky way (he looks almost *exactly* like Michael from the Sopranos, except he doesn't wear those 80s mafia gangsta suits). As for what my friends think? They're suspicious, though my astrology fiend friend says that he's "dominated by Scorpio", and that I'm "dominated by Aquarius", so the relationship is full of bad vibes.

    What the hell she's talking about, I don't know
    .

    Sack your astrologer.... Scorpio and Aquarius relationships are challenging because they are both fixed and square to one another, some people need a challenging relationship or they get too much of their own way. ANY astrological combination can be made good with patience and love. If your chart is strong you will want a relationship that challenges you, and vice versa, then it may be a perfect relationship. Bottom line it all depends on the natal chart of the individuals involved.

    Bottom line is how after a year do you feel about him? If you like him sit him down, give him boundaries and reassure him. If he is a strong scorpio type simply give him a lot of reassurance that you are loyal to him. You'd be suprised how far simply understanding his insecurity and being supportive of him will go.

    If you are either unsure or want to break it off, you will need to be really firm with him, explain you are finding him suffocating because you need more freedom etc... and that there is not someone else on the scene.

    Scorpios can take infidelity really badly

    Good luck but to be honest you don't sound too certain of this guy after a year, put the poor sod out his missery.

    As for astorlogy, Synistry is the reason scorps andaquas are at odds, sometimes in a good way, but you might want to try composite, which is of the relationship itself.

  2. #42
    FigerPuppet
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    LOL astrology.

  3. #43
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SmileyMan View Post
    LOL astrology.
    ^

  4. #44
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Thats sort of really pathetic

    fire the guy
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  5. #45
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    he's an estj.
    and you can't 'declingify' him.

    he's made his choice.
    you have to shoot him. it's the only way.
    we fukin won boys

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cappie View Post
    he's an estj.
    and you can't 'declingify' him.

    he's made his choice.
    you have to shoot him. it's the only way.


    ...poor guy....

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    When I jetted off to Brazil for 2 weeks without telling him, he went POSTAL, calling EVERYONE he knew I knew.
    Wow, I actually do feel sorry for him now. Yeah, he may be a bit clingy (and I agree that he shouldn't call you at work that's never ever appropriate unless there's an emergency), but jetting off to Brazil for two weeks without telling your boyfriend seems ...flaky...if not totally insensitive. Value judgements aside, maybe the two of you have different ideas about commitment?

  8. #48
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    This really doesn't sound good. The fact that danger breaking up with him has occurred to you this early on is a bit serious. The need to control things like that as well as the incessant contact may have been flattering at first, but will quickly go into the realm of scarey and abusive/dangerous. Other huge warning flags are him jeopardizing your success at work by calling you (feels threatened by your success, you liking work, or you spending time away from him), and him trying to alienate people close to you (whom he sees as competition for your time and affection). The less people who are in your immediate circle, the more your perspective can get skewed without you even realizing it. Him taking things of yours without your knowledge should also disturb you. Jealousy will soon be followed by accusations of infidelity and physical violence. He's also likely to cheat on you to pay you back for your imagined infidelity to him. This is kind of like a train route with a lot of stops. The fact that all of the early stations have been mentioned makes me feel pretty sure that the destination is indeed what it appears to be. Please, please, please get out while you still can. You may want to change your locks too...

    At best, he is very insecure, which means he has no attention or emotional resources left to give to you (they will be obscured by his own needs). This makes for a very unbalanced relationship where you are editing yourself down so as to not threaten him, or doing things which further undermine his sense of security because you resent the lack of freedom. You are not equal partners. Most insecure people are looking for someone else to solve all of their problems. Unfortunately, no matter how much love is given, only the insecure person themselves can resolve those issues. The temptation of most insecure people is to categorize others as either their saviour or their nemesis; the solution to everything wrong in their lives, or the cause of all of it. Neither is healthy. No one is all good or all bad. He is not seeing you in a realistic light. When he becomes disillusioned, all of the energy he is putting into trying to secure your affection will be poured into ruining your life. Secondly, a person who is insecure will find it very difficult to be emotionally vulnerable themselves, or to relax and trust you. This makes communication impossible, which will lead to the demise of your relationship and obscure the qualities that you do appreciate about him.

    If you took sex out of the equation, how much would the relationship still mean to you?

    Whatever you do, try to keep your life in balance with work, hobbies, family and friends still equally included. This will give you less reason to get overdependent on him.

    You have mentioned his good qualities. Even the most unsuitable of potential partners have very attractive qualities. Even physical proximity makes attachment grow. You may see a lot of things in him that others don't. You may even love him a lot. However, none of those mean that you belong together.

  9. #49
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    Sounds controlling. Irregardless of type, gtfo.

  10. #50
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Yeah, I don't know why my friend keeps bringing up the astrology thing, because I don't put stock into unproven magic/woo-woo pseudoscience.

    I don't think he's actually dangerous, I'm just being dramatic about the chainsaw/MrHeadChopped reference, BUT I don't want to deal with him anymore. Never has he been abusive in the slightest. He's never called me a name, threatened me, touched me in an aggressive way, etc.

    I want to know how can I break up with him cleanly, where it will go like this:

    Me: Luciano, it's over.
    Luciano: OK. Bye!
    Me: Bye!

    And we both skip away in opposite directions, whistling and singing, with me headed toward the horizon.

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