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Thread: Boyfriend is too CLINGY to be an ENTJ...

  1. #21
    Aquaria Array mrcockburn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    3w4 sp/so


    Quote Originally Posted by Jonnyboy View Post
    At this point are you no longer interested in dating him? Is this question about how to end it rather than how to fix these "problems"?
    Yeah. I need to know how to fix these problems so that WHEN I break up with him, I won't come back on here as MrHeadChopped. (I'm female by the way, as both my forum name and real name are ambiguous).

  2. #22
    null Array Jonny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009


    Do you really think he could be potentially dangerous? There are plenty of creepers out there who aren't dangerous at all. The reason I ask is because if he isn't likely to be a threat, it might be wise to end things straightforwardly, rather than attempt some sort of "attitude adjustment."

  3. #23
    LL P. Stewie Array Beorn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    he wrote a time-slot to prepare the next day's to-do list.
    I don't know about this. Productivity gurus recommend planning to plan.

    But, everything else spells B-A-T-S-H-I-T I-N-S-A-N-E.
    Take the weakest thing in you
    And then beat the bastards with it
    And always hold on when you get love
    So you can let go when you give it

  4. #24
    RETIRED Array CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007


    This stood out to me:

    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    When I jetted off to Brazil for 2 weeks without telling him, he went POSTAL, calling EVERYONE he knew I knew.
    So knowing how possessive he is and how he obsessively checks on your location 24/7 you purposely did not tell him you were going somewhere? Were you already mentally breaking up with him or is this *before* he got super possessive? How long has he behaved this way towards you and how long have you been dating exclusively?

    I'd be interested in hearing about how you two got together and if there were small things at the beginning that set him off - do you have a lot of male friends, do you usually not talk to your SO's everyday? Etc. Has he been cheated on in the past? And this sounds obvious, but did you ever cheat on him (and he found out)?
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux


  5. #25
    mod love baby... Array Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    9w1 sx/so


    i didn't even SEE that! was that added later? if you're the type to take off for 2 weeks w/o telling your bf you are with the worst possible guy for you! probably really should tell people close to you that kind of info.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #26
    Pumpernickel Array
    Join Date
    Aug 2009


    Sounds like he has some issues he needs to work out with his mother

  7. #27
    He pronks, too! Array Magic Poriferan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    One sx/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by JustHer View Post
    Sounds like he has some issues he needs to work out with his mother
    Go to sleep, iguana.

    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  8. #28
    Senior Member Array Quiet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010


    CzeCze and Lady X have brought up some good questions and points. I wondered similarly myself.
    "What's Taters, Precious?" --- Gollum.

    "Bring your pretty face, to my axe". --- Gimly.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Array tinkerbell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    The Jelousy thing is simple anthropology, men gaurd their mates.

    He is insecure of your - he clearly into you more than you are into him hence his behaviour. It's likely you are doing something to drive or maintin the insececurity.

    If you like him - then work at making him secure, remove what he is being OCD about. For instance if he is email all the time say I don't like it, reduce it down to 1 email a day and I will be content, we will see each other on the 4th etc. If not then breka it off

    Draw strong boundaries and give him consiquences - if he doesn't follow the rules cancel dates.

    You do sound as if you quite like him but he does need a firm hand. an ENTJ will respect you more for them

  10. #30
    So tired... Array Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    4dw sx/so
    IEx None


    I'm with Elaur. I think his temporary insanity is literally due to overuse of his own frigging chemical coctail, also known as infatuation.

    Fi is going mental coz he wants a strong bond with you but feels like you're constantly slithering away, and is giving Te the order to just gain control of the situation already..which he's desperately trying to do.

    Personally (disclaimer: don't do this if you thin k he might actually harm you), I'd sit his ass down, tell him to shut up and explain him everything into detail of what's bugging you and how he will lose you if he keeps it up. Then, tell him how to keep you. Give him the outline, the rules on how you work, coz it's clear that he has no clue what to do to get you to return that affection he feels for you, and it's driving him mental.

    Make it perfectly clear that if he ignores you on this, you're out the door. Then tell him he can speak. See what he says. If necessary, drive your point home. At this point, ask him what it is he needs to stop being this OCD. What it is that is making him do this. And how you can come to a win-win situation where both your needs are met, so he gets his say too.

    If he's not open for adjustment and just keeps wanting to control you...dump his ass.

    All in all, the way you described him though, I'd say the poor man has a case of being completely head over heels for you and not knowhing how to handle it properly
    Show him some understanding...Fi is a bitch that way

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