I believe the real question is: why can't people be more direct?
This is much easier said than done.
And it's a rather idealistic sentiment too, IMO.
It just ain't gonna happen...
...but the way I see it is if you don't do anything, then you obviously don't want it enough.
I'm pathologically shy, but in the rare instances I'm crazy about someone I bite the bullet and find my own way of indicating interest, ASAP.
This is much easier said than done.
And it's a rather idealistic sentiment too, IMO.
It just ain't gonna happen...
That sums it up.
I'm far from oblivious. *scratches head* As an English major, it's hardwired into me to analyse literary texts, which involves deciphering the symbolic; why did the author choose this word, rather than its synonym? What effect does this have? What are the implications? Naturally, I pick apart the words and actions (or lack thereof) of people I interact with. I think, "They could have done a number of things, or said anything, so why did they choose to X or Y?" Cue the silent brainstorming of possible interpretations. With people I'm interested in, every word and action is picked apart like this, only more obsessively. Until I have conclusive evidence, any interpretation is equally plausible. Thus, I feign obliviousness until confirmation is provided and I can respond accordingly.
There was this one guy who was pretty underhanded. He decided to play the "nice guy" role and pretend to pursue a friendship with me, whilst dropping ambigous hints. To be honest, I found his lack of directness disgusting. If he was interested in a relationship, being upfront about his feelings from the beginning would have been the best option. The way he went about it was just repulsive, and the most frustating part was that he was obvious enough to make a blip on my radar, but ambigious enough so that I couldn't reject him without looking like a jerk. Throwing hints = FFFFFFUUUUU.
INTPs, or perhaps any girl, need the pursuer to be direct and honest. Ambiguity leaves room for multiple interpretations, regardless of whether there is requited interest or not.
That's not the definition. But it really should be!Being ambiguous, cryptic or "hinting" as a means to reduce responsibility and "ownership" of your behavior. You clearly have feelings and desires, but only passively suggest them as to put pressure on the other person to "pick up on them" bring them into focus. It's tiring to put up with. That may not be the actual definition, but that's how I tend to think of it.
Yes, yes, yes! This is exactly what is so repulsive about so-called "nice guys".There was this one guy who was pretty underhanded. He decided to play the "nice guy" role and pretend to pursue a friendship with me, whilst dropping ambigous hints. To be honest, I found his lack of directness disgusting. If he was interested in a relationship, being upfront about his feelings from the beginning would have been the best option. The way he went about it was just repulsive, and the most frustating part was that he was obvious enough to make a blip on my radar, but ambigious enough so that I couldn't reject him without looking like a jerk. Throwing hints = FFFFFFUUUUU.
INTPs, or perhaps any girl, need the pursuer to be direct and honest. Ambiguity leaves room for multiple interpretations, regardless of whether there is requited interest or not.