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  1. #21
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    Sorta...
    But no one else can recognise the hint, right?

  2. #22
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    She's not oblivious, she's just not that into you.

  3. #23
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    goodgrief, why don't *you* take the hint?
    This is also a point.

    He should ask the intp in question straight up. I gave this advice before. If an intp is interested they will say yes. IMO
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  4. #24
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    goodgrief, why don't *you* take the hint?
    This too.

    I said earlier it doesn't seem like you're ready for this, GoodGrief. And most of your posts just continue to reinforce that perception. You are far too hesitant, jumpy, unsure of yourself, and passive aggressive, it appears. The last one will be your downfall if she hasn't sniffed it out already.



  5. #25
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    mmmmmm i fail XP.

    What does passive aggresive mean?

  6. #26
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    mmmmmm i fail XP.

    What does passive aggresive mean?
    Being ambiguous, cryptic or "hinting" as a means to reduce responsibility and "ownership" of your behavior. You clearly have feelings and desires, but only passively suggest them as to put pressure on the other person to "pick up on them" bring them into focus. It's tiring to put up with. That may not be the actual definition, but that's how I tend to think of it.



  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Being ambiguous, cryptic or "hinting" as a means to reduce responsibility and "ownership" of your behavior. You clearly have feelings and desires, but only passively suggest them as to put pressure on the other person to "pick up on them" bring them into focus. It's tiring to put up with. That may not be the actual definition, but that's how I tend to think of it.
    I admit this is a fault of mine I can't seem to get over. However, it's not really pressuring if the other person never notices, is it?

  8. #28
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    I admit this is a fault of mine I can't seem to get over. However, it's not really pressuring if the other person never notices, is it?
    Maybe she notices but just doesn't want to reject you? Or feels too awkward about approaching it?

    There's also the chance she's just waiting for something more overt from you, and once that happens, she'll reciprocate interest. Might as well find out.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    Maybe she notices but just doesn't want to reject you? Or feels to awkward about approaching it?
    I suppose that's always a possibility but I don't think it's likely. BTW feeling awkward about approaching it is exactly my problem. Basically, this is what I have noticed. She considers me, in any case, a good friend. One of few. We share similar interests and some similar problems and are able to communicate well both jokingly and seriously. She feels at least somewhat open talking about her feelings with me, though she doesn't open up to many people. However, she shows no particular inclinations towards nor away from me. She has never said anything even slightly suggestive to me. Given the choice between seeing me and another of her close friends, there is roughly a 50% chance she will go with me. She has never displayed any romantic inclinations beyond humour or saying she finds a particular celebrity attractive. She is practically devoid of physical hints of anything and is quite antisocial most of the time. She always spends her weekends alone with little or no communication with others.

    I really don't want to keep hinting, but I don't have the guts to take it any further. I've tried, and occasionally come close. We can have quite intimate discussions, at least compared to her and myself with others, but I think if she liked me or wished to reject me, she would at least have some tendency to avoid or initiate some form of interaction. For the most part she seems pretty casual and oblivious about the entire situation.

    But of course I am not the best at psychology, particularly observational, so from this information, I will leave it up to you to decide.

    And I will try to quit expressing my frustrations online.

  10. #30
    sophiloist Kaizer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    I admit this is a fault of mine I can't seem to get over.
    you have to say it in so many words
    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    However, it's not really pressuring if the other person never notices, is it?
    & the reason could be or most likely is the exact opposite.. the signature obliviousness doesn't manifest itself in this way and definitely not when you've been 'obvious' to the point where you're asking all these questions.. .. also, just in case, power issues shouldn't be part of the discourse/interaction
    The answer must be in the attempt
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