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Thread: NPs and dealing with career stress

  1. #11
    RETIRED Array CzeCze's Avatar
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    Sep 2007


    Jeno, what kind of writing for film do you do?

    I've studied writing before and the one thing I know is if you want to be a writer professionally you can't be lazy about it. Most people who write talk more about writing than actually doing any - those are probably the unemployed writers.

    OP - were you saying that was good advice for and from OP's to "suck it up"? :horor:

    I know INFPs kinda wilt and die or turn into their shadows if they do something they don't love. My friend (I think she's ENTP) told me not to go to law school because it was "soul crushing" and I wouldn't be able to handle it as well as she did (she also hated it).

    As for me, I can't do sustained un-loved career. Through experience I've realized that money isn't really a big motivator for me and neither is pleasing my boss or being well regarded. I'll take care to look good superficially and it may seem like I'm motivated to others but really I just do enough to mask my core disinterest.

    I like to do a good job, period but I can't just "suck it up" because mentally I lose it and get very scattered and basically demoralized to the point I'll just float through until I either get booted or quit.

    I need to feel *engaged* in my job and basically feel fulfilled. My 'NP' advice would be to explore the facets of what you like to do avocationally and see if there are transferable skills or some jump off point for a career. For instance, my friend worked in admin and handled a lot of association newsletters and eventually realized her passion for survey writing and statistics (not kidding).

    Or if you are drawn to a certain kind of lifestyle. It's possible to work in an industry but not as the 'star'. For instance, not everyone can be an athlete but you can still definitely work for a sports team or league in a variety of jobs. People love Hollywood but you don't have to be a Spielberg or Jolie-Pitt to get paid or be a part of the movie-making magic.

    If you want a certain kind of lifestyle - involving lots of travel or exposure to cultures, a non desk job, have lots of disposable income, live in a very rural area, etc. - look for jobs that meet those needs and decide for yourself what your top 2 priorities for a job. You may surprise yourself because what you really want is not what you thought.

    If you like writing, there are many ways to do that as a career.

    I think sucking it up sounds horrible, basically.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux


  2. #12
    Feline Member Array kelric's Avatar
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    Sep 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Cypocalypse View Post
    The tricky part is this. Most of NPs lived an SJ life/environment. NPs are the types that get hurt the most by the SJ environment. Often times, they end up resenting it, probably using MBTI as an online haven. Except maybe for the ENxPs who have outlets to make them more perky, and less depressed.

    But my INTP friend has a point. At some point, we go back to being SJ, again.

    My question is, just how do you do it? How do you go back to something you've resented, and cope again?
    I definitely have these issues. But the answer to the "how do you do it" is that I don't have much choice. They say that pride is a fault, but often I find that it, driven by a fear of failure, is what prevents me from simply dropping out of the "SJ" life. Having to admit to my family (*all* SJ's ,by the way - and this isn't an exaggeration) that I was the "loser" of the family/friend group (although my most definitions I am anyway) is something that I just wouldn't be able to abide very well. I don't have much of a support system in place, so standing on my own is absolutely required. So I put up with it.

    I won't pretend that there isn't an awful lot of frustration, stress, and sometimes even anger when it comes to fulfilling the "expectations" of my job. Almost all of these are due to bureaucracy, silly rules, and the assumption (and requirement) that I'm willing to sacrifice my personal time for the convenience of co-workers. These things bother me much more than they bother others in my workplace, and I'm burning out. But at this point, it still seems to be the best alternative (there *are* things about it that I like, and although I'm the loser of my family/friend group, I do okay financially).

    There's also the issue of "doing what you like for fun as a job makes it work, and not fun anymore" thing. As much as I tell myself that I'd want a job that is a hobby/interest/meaningful as well... I suspect that the *requirement* to do it it would sort of kill the enjoyment. What I do now (the portions I like) isn't a "love", but I do get some satisfaction from it -- which is really all I think most people (certainly me) can expect.

    Money in and of itself is not a large motivator for me. But freedom *is*. There's more than a little overlap there, and I look forward to vacation time and eventually (hopefully) being able to retire in another 30 years or so. Of course, that's if I don't say "screw it", sell everything I own, and move to Breckenridge, Aspen, etc. and take up an "everyone would be so disappointed-in-me" career of working in a ski shop and spending my free time on skis or learning to snowboard .

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