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[NT] NT's-Happier being single or in a relationship?

NT's-happier in a relationship or single?

  • I'm ENTJ; have been happier in a serious relationship

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'm ENTJ; have been happier casually dating

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'm ENTJ; have been happier single

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'm ENTP; have been happier in a serious relationship

    Votes: 3 11.1%
  • I'm ENTP; have been happier casually dating

    Votes: 3 11.1%
  • I'm ENTP; have been happier single

    Votes: 4 14.8%
  • I'm INTJ; have been happier in a serious relationship

    Votes: 4 14.8%
  • I'm INTJ; have been happier casually dating

    Votes: 1 3.7%
  • I'm INTJ; have been happier single

    Votes: 3 11.1%
  • I'm INTP; have been happier in a serious relationship

    Votes: 2 7.4%
  • I'm INTP; have been happier casually dating

    Votes: 2 7.4%
  • I'm INTP; have been happier single

    Votes: 5 18.5%

  • Total voters
    27

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Was reading the "What are INTP females like" thread and it made me laugh when a couple of them said they prefer not to date at all.

If you're an NT who is, say, 25 years and older, would you say you have generally been more happy in your life while you were (a) in a serious, dedicated relationship with one individual, (b) casually dating one or more people or, (c) happier being single?

If you're 19 and don't have much relationship experience, then this poll is kind of "N/A".

For me personally, I look forward to a fulfilling relationship (and I've had some that have been really good in different ways), but up to this point I've been happier overall when I've been single.
 

Gamine

in-game
Joined
Nov 2, 2008
Messages
810
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
3w2
ENTP - Happy all the time - Prefer being single, at the moment. :D
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have been in a committed, long-term relationship for over 10 years now, and on some level, I am happier than I ever was alone. Casual relationships were always more bother than they were worth. I can't help but wonder sometimes, though, what has been the cost of my relationship. What have I given up that I might have had had I stayed alone? The perennial question of the road not taken . . .
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
Thusfar, happier single. But I've never been in a relationship with anyone that I felt was my soul/mindmate. I imagine I'd be happier in a relationship than single if I was well-matched. I can't do casual relationships at all.
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
I've been very happy in a committed relationship and very happy alone. Casual relationships have always made me feel disoriented and uncomfortable. I'm currently happy to be alone but would be very pleased to see a woman disabuse me of that notion.
 

Aerithria

Senior Thread Terminator
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
568
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Oh, whoops, I kind of skimmed the OP and missed the "if you're 19 and have little relationship experience" bit, which is of course where I fit.

Ah well. I have a feeling I'll still prefer to be single in the future as well.
 
F

figsfiggyfigs

Guest
I have little relationship experience.

From what I can tell from past relationships. I did tend to be happier single, however, I think that might be because I did not like who I was dating( or I eventually didn't like them).
It's just I find relationships very exhausting, too much work.

I think when I find the right person, They will make me even happier than when I am single.

I think when that happens, the "work" is completely worth it.


edit:

I don't do casual relationships.
 

Amethyst

¡MI TORTA!
Joined
May 9, 2010
Messages
2,191
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
ENTP - Never dated, so I wouldn't know.
 

LucrativeSid

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2007
Messages
837
I prefer being in a great relationship over being single, but it's not something I need in order to be happy. And I definitely prefer being single over being in a bad relationship. No casual dating for me.
 

teslashock

Geolectric
Joined
Oct 27, 2009
Messages
1,690
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
There are perks to both. If I've been in a serious relationship with the same person for a while, then I might find myself feeling chained and wanting to have the freedom that comes with being single. If I've been single for a while, then I might find myself lonely and wanting a stable companion with whom to share myself. The longest relationship I've had was with another NT, for over 3 years, and it ended in part because we both wanted more freedom.

Committed relationships just for the sake of comfort and stability are pointless to me and inevitably leave me feeling chained and curious for something better. The relationship and the person that's in it with me have to continue piquing my interest with little to no emotional drama (if I have to start investing a significant percentage of my time to soothing my SO over relationship matters, then I'll quickly lose interest). But really, so long as I'm enjoying myself in my current romantic state, it doesn't matter to me if I'm in a 3-year relationship or playing the field with a number of men.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I'm ENTP; have been happier in a serious relationship
I'm ENTP; have been happier single

It's 50/50 on those two as now I'd be happier being single than being in an average relationship, but a good relationship trumps everything... for as long as it's good.

For a long time I was happy being single though, and actively wanted to stay single. Finding a relationship that I'm willing to consider "serious" is quite an ask, finding a relationship where I feel free enough to be committed is also quite the ask. I enjoy feeling unattached. The middle ground may sound fun but in reality I'd rather get to know new people without romantic undertones.

At a certain point in my mid-late 20s I started feeling as though I would like to experience a relationship with someone that I could connect to on a deeper level, turns out I can't do that with most people so I was still single, just not so super-happy about it.

It comes down to what matters more to me, when I was single and happy about it I was concentrating on me, I was able to be as selfish as I wanted to be and at the time that mattered to me more than meeting someone potentially great. Attempts at relationships during that time were hopeless, I was unable to get emotionally invested in anyone while I was enjoying my singledom, relationships weren't something that made me happy. When I wanted a connection being single or dating those I couldn't connect with only made it worse and a serious relationship more ideal.

As I'm in a happy relationship atm I'd go with that option but I reserve the right to change my mind and stick to "I'm happier single then in an average relationship".
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
Joined
Jul 7, 2007
Messages
3,895
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
INTJ

I feel best if i'm in a healthy, long-term relationship.
 

goodgrief

New member
Joined
Apr 3, 2010
Messages
480
MBTI Type
INTJ
What do we say if we haven't had a relationship.

I don't want a relationship unless it's with someone I can connect with properly.
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
I have little relationship experience.

From what I can tell from past relationships. I did tend to be happier single, however, I think that might be because I did not like who I was dating( or I eventually didn't like them).
It's just I find relationships very exhausting, too much work.

I think when I find the right person, They will make me even happier than when I am single.

I think when that happens, the "work" is completely worth it.


edit:

I don't do casual relationships.

saved my a lot of typing, thanks! :)
 

Aleksei

Yeah, I can fly.
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
3,626
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
You're forgetting one option: "INTP; have never been on a date."
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If we're talking about INTPs it would be more appropriate to ask "when were you less miserable" too. :smile:

Other than that, what Tallulah said.
 
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