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  1. #21
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    You already know all the possible outcomes. You just don't want to show your hand because there's a chance you'll lose.

    "Nice" guys don't get rejected for being nice, they get rejected because they lack balls. That's not a good strategy. Evolutionarily speaking.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  2. #22
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    Well essentially, I am pretty pathetic at making changes to my life (even small ones). I have social anxiety to a fair degree and I worry about any decision before I do it. I feel uncomfortable expressing my emotions and therefore rarely do so, but I actually have a lot I really wish I could say to people. I'm love/sex shy to the point I won't even mention if I find someone on TV attractive or bring up love and sex in a conversation. I even get nervous ringing someone up to ask to go do something, so yeah, it's that extreme. I'm working on it, had a breakdown (private of course) a few weeks ago but I'm getting over it. Still pretty pathetic though. I need about a 99.5% chance of relative success before I make a decision or I will keep stalling.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    You already know all the possible outcomes. You just don't want to show your hand because there's a chance you'll lose.

    "Nice" guys don't get rejected for being nice, they get rejected because they lack balls. That's not a good strategy. Evolutionarily speaking.
    I know. But I don't quite know the chances, which leads me back to my original question. Should this fail, is it likely I will stay a good friend?

  4. #24
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    Well essentially, I am pretty pathetic at making changes to my life (even small ones). I have social anxiety to a fair degree and I worry about any decision before I do it. I feel uncomfortable expressing my emotions and therefore rarely do so, but I actually have a lot I really wish I could say to people. I'm love/sex shy to the point I won't even mention if I find someone on TV attractive or bring up love and sex in a conversation. I even get nervous ringing someone up to ask to go do something, so yeah, it's that extreme. I'm working on it, had a breakdown (private of course) a few weeks ago but I'm getting over it. Still pretty pathetic though. I need about a 99.5% chance of relative success before I make a decision or I will keep stalling.
    Do you make all decisions this way?
    Fuck-up once in a while. Live a little.
    Or
    Wait for her to show interest. E.g. If she starts touching you, it's a good sign. INTPs usually don't touch people just to be friendly the way some women do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #25
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    Yeah I know she never touches anyone.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    The best way to learn is to make mistakes...just walk the plank.

  7. #27
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    Well essentially, I am pretty pathetic at making changes to my life (even small ones). I have social anxiety to a fair degree and I worry about any decision before I do it. I feel uncomfortable expressing my emotions and therefore rarely do so, but I actually have a lot I really wish I could say to people. I'm love/sex shy to the point I won't even mention if I find someone on TV attractive or bring up love and sex in a conversation. I even get nervous ringing someone up to ask to go do something, so yeah, it's that extreme. I'm working on it, had a breakdown (private of course) a few weeks ago but I'm getting over it. Still pretty pathetic though. I need about a 99.5% chance of relative success before I make a decision or I will keep stalling.
    You don't really seem ready for this, TBH.



  8. #28
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    Yeah, ignore the PUA stuff spam was posting about if you want any meaningful relationship with her.

    You'll just have to ask her out. There's no way to trick someone into a worthwhile relationship or ensure you get the outcome you desire. That's life.

  9. #29
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    She's in a similar life situation to me, which is to say, pretty average and boring. But she's less shy than me, even though she is a little. She's never dated. She said a guy once said he loved her for how she thought(she has a pretty cool mind) and unnoficially married himself to her, so I hope that means he was incompatible rather than that she was just uninterested.

    AH! Why do I overthink everything!?
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    IME INTPs in friendships [and relationships, for some] will reflect the disposition of the other person.
    Yeah, we're chameleons. I read more about this somewhere, but can't find it...

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