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  1. #11
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    She's in a similar life situation to me, which is to say, pretty average and boring. But she's less shy than me, even though she is a little. She's never dated. She said a guy once said he loved her for how she thought (she has a pretty cool mind) and unnoficially married himself to her, so I hope that means he was incompatible rather than that she was just uninterested.

    AH! Why do I overthink everything!?

  2. #12
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Women in general don't seem to like the idea their feelings/values are being manipulated.
    Yeah, weird that. I've always found men lap that stuff up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #13
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    She's in a similar life situation to me, which is to say, pretty average and boring.
    Hold off on the confessions of love for now. People who are bored make good targets. Try taking her to various venues that are fun/not boring and calibrate her response. Day trips/music venues and festivals are a good start and will make your practice of the various new strategies/tactics more tolerable for her.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  4. #14
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    I don't like the idea that I'm manipulating someones feelings and values either. Unless they're absolutely stupid of course.

    Frankly, the closest I'd ever get to seducing is being particularly nice but still being myself. And when I am with someone like this girl, I am naturally nice.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    She's never dated. She said a guy once said he loved her for how she thought (she has a pretty cool mind) and unnoficially married himself to her, so I hope that means he was incompatible rather than that she was just uninterested.
    Hold off on the confessions of love for now. People who are bored make good targets. Try taking her to various venues that are fun/not boring and calibrate her response. Day trips/music venues and festivals are a good start and will make your practice of the various new strategies/tactics more tolerable for her.
    Whoa, wouldn't it to be honest to just come clean instead of viewing it as Operation INTP Female.

  6. #16
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    I don't like the idea that I'm manipulating someones feelings and values either. Unless they're absolutely stupid of course.

    Frankly, the closest I'd ever get to seducing is being particularly nice but still being myself. And when I am with someone like this girl, I am naturally nice.
    Then you have already failed. How often do you here about the "Nice Guy" seducing someone. Usually its the "nice guys" who are bitching that once again they are being chumped.

    I love you "nice guys". It makes the competition sooo easy.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  7. #17
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    IME, guys handle rejection less well than girls handle unwelcome attention.
    Pretty much.

    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Hold off on the confessions of love for now...Try taking her to various venues that are fun/not boring and calibrate her response.
    Yes, you don't need to leap in and try to do "Relationship in a Box" technique. Be normal. See what develops. Don't be afraid to engage when there are openings, or to initiate time together. I would just avoid trying to do the "0 -> 75mph in three seconds" thing, especially with someone who might need more autonomy / is wary of being entangled.

    Quote Originally Posted by Goodgrief
    Frankly, the closest I'd ever get to seducing is being particularly nice but still being myself. And when I am with someone like this girl, I am naturally nice.
    Then it sounds good. Just be you and have fun.

    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Then you have already failed. How often do you here about the "Nice Guy" seducing someone. Usually its the "nice guys" who are bitching that once again they are being chumped.

    I love you "nice guys". It makes the competition sooo easy.
    Note that he can initiate things while still being a "nice guy."
    "Nice" doesn't mean "passive" or "weak" necessarily; he just has to put himself out there and engage.

    At least he's accessible on a personal level.
    Playahs are not much more than crepe paper.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #18
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    Look, to hell with seduction okay? I don't like it and personally I doubr she'd like it either.

    Seduction isn't the problem. The problem is I'm a wimp and I need to understand the possible outcomes so I'm prepared for them.

  9. #19
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    IME INTPs in friendships [and relationships, for some] will reflect the disposition of the other person. If you fail miserably, she won't be weird if you're not weird. But if you are, then she will be, or just simply cut you off.



  10. #20
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    Define "wimp". (Seriously.)
    i.e., what does this mean you will do / not do / etc.

    Then I can contribute some probable outcomes.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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