User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 21

  1. #11
    Senior Member ObeyBunny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    573

    Default

    I’m an INTJ and for the longest time I couldn’t show emotion. (I felt them, I couldn’t show them.) Before I turned 17, my laughter consisted of polite chuckles and held back coughing-snorts. At one point, I think my ENFP (ENTP?) brother started wondering if I was depressed (or at least not experiencing happiness.) In the breadth of 2 months, he paid for two of my movie tickets for comedies (he was an adult who wasn’t living under the same roof as me).

    On the way out of theater to his car, he asked me “How come I never see you laughing?” To which I didn’t have a good response. I remember thinking the words “I did enjoy the movie, I just didn’t laugh” but I didn’t say it.
    Q: "What is the process of seeking the truth?"
    A: "Distilled liquor"

    Q: "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
    A: "Between a starving prostitute and a steak sandwich."

    Q:How would a mathematician capture an elephant?
    A:He would build a cage, step inside, and rename his new location as "outside."

  2. #12
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9
    Posts
    349

    Default expressing emotions properly as an INTJ

    I have noticed an interesting distinction regarding thinkers and feelers. I am now going to generalize. Feelers need validation before they can properly access the problem and deal with it. It is like an overload. It is the tip of the iceberg and must be properly addressed before one can go deeper to actually do some problem solving. Thinkers on the other hand want results. Are action and solution based in dealing with the problem. If a feeler is forced to problem solve without adequetly addressing the emotion they may be hurt or possibly angry feeling misunderstood. If a thinker is validated and forced to address their feelings they may well be irritated. It is also extremely interesting that the mental health profession is taught to address the feeling, to listen and validation is required. There are multiple disciplines in the mental health field Carl Rogers is more feeling oriented and is like me, INFP. Albert Ellis however was far more dictatorial with his approach. I have found it interesting to view the approaches required to deal with SJ, SP, NF, & NT precluded sensitivities and mind sets.

  3. #13
    Senior Member eagleseven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    331

    Default

    It's a learned response, and I treat expressing emotion like any other skill.

    It sounds like your fundamental problem is that you are trying to explain your feelings to others. Feelers don't respond well to explanations, but they pick up rapidly on body language.

    When sad, don't explain that you are sad, but rather make yourself physically appear small, and adopt poor posture. People will pick up that you are feeling bad.

    When angry, breathe heavily, use a strong, upright posture, speak loudly, move deliberately and with great force. People will rapidly realize that you are hot under the collar.

    When anxious, rapidly talking is a good start, but nervously tapping your foot, or fingers, rapidly will also clue people in. Making all your movements short and rapid will give the impression that you are tense.

    ---

    Fs do this naturally, but we generally don't, which provides some advantages. Primarily, we can express an emotion that we are not actively feeling, for effect. If you are angry at a superior, you can outwardly appear happy, even as you boil on the inside. Likewise, you can appear sad and depressed at bad news, even if on the inside, your morbid sense of humor is wildly laughing.

    On the other hand, we can come off as less-than-genuine to very perceptive individuals.

  4. #14
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INfP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    564

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eagleseven View Post
    On the other hand, we can come off as less-than-genuine to very perceptive individuals.
    yes, so i suggest not faking. (and i don't mean keeping your emotions in check at times.)

    also, explanations are always good.
    Enneagram 5w4.

  5. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    481

    Default

    @ Eagleseven

    I do try to convey myself through body language since I am shy aboutactually saying things, but most of my friends are thinkers and are either oblivious or don't think I want help. I do tend to do fiddling and stuff just in general so they don't really get anything from that.

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    481

    Default

    @ Eagleseven

    I do try to convey myself through body language since I am shy aboutactually saying things, but most of my friends are thinkers and are either oblivious or don't think I want help. I do tend to do fiddling and stuff just in general so they don't really get anything from that.

  7. #17
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INfP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    564

    Default

    ^ how about posting in the "what are you feeling right now?" thread? you could get some virtual hugs.
    Enneagram 5w4.

  8. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    481

    Default

    meh. I've had plenty of virtual hugs. They don't really do the trick.

  9. #19
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INfP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    564

    Default

    yeah, i get it.

    still, it has helped me, though... you know, conversing with people online and getting the feeling that they care.
    Enneagram 5w4.

  10. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    3,917

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    do this with a friend you trust... or just listen to the song...
    Is this sarcasm?



    Music can help. I've used it myself to get in touch with feelings before, but not with lyrics. Especially lyrics of the emo variety, which tend to be hilarious. If that's what you're going for than great. Otherwise, instrumental or in a language you don't understand is better.

Similar Threads

  1. As an INTJ is it a bad idea to go into an SP dominated field?
    By rocco in forum Academics and Careers
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-04-2016, 07:17 AM
  2. [INFJ] Making friends as an INTJ
    By XJKD in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-12-2014, 09:40 PM
  3. [INTJ] What do you think can make an INTJ emotional?
    By InfiniteIntrigue in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 10-03-2009, 04:09 PM
  4. [INTJ] Tips for an INTJ to cope with an emotional boss?
    By Cindy in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-27-2009, 03:13 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO