Yes, I have been there with (older) SJs* (and I know these men I was talking about, I'm not randomly assuming strangers I click with are NTs)...it is completely different. Not because SJs are inferior, it's a mutual compatibility thing. There just is a difference and communication with a much older SJ that's in a way different phase of his/her life is more difficult than communication with a fellow NT in the same situation. I guess I was happy to see that connection persist regardless of the external circumstances and I thought it was remarkable.
Why stereotypically discard/mock my reaction?
*I'll add "most SJs" if you want me to be politically correct.
This isn't even about being poltically correct. I don't know maybe it's because INTJs lack Si, but in my experience with SJ older people - a lot of them are more balanced than you would think, in terms of functions, so they're more in touch with their N, etc. (and vice versa)
It really depends on the person, of course. Maybe it's easier for me as an NF female to relate to older SFJ women or something (which would be the mirror of you as an NT male talking about STJ older men I'm assuming), and like as an NT...maybe because you lack Si...I don't know, maybe you think that older STJ men couldn't possibly relate to you? I don't see why, especially since you both have Te and Fi.
Ok. I decided to edit this for clarity.
I rented a room in a house when I lived in Vegas for about a year. The people who owned the house were in their sixties. The wife was undoubtedly an ESFJ - she was the stereotypical mother figure, cooking, cleaning, self-sacrificing, telling me stories about how she used to iron her husband's underwear. But she was surprisingly awesome. I loved this woman. If I sat down and talked to her, she would be straight forward and blunt and say "oh I'm too old to bullshit" and would tell me stories about how she was a virgin until she was 22 and "oh wasn't I so naiive!" and seriously, obviously knew all about life and was very candid and easy to talk to.
My exes mother is also a text book xSFJ...I mean, from a distance, she met every stereotype: cooking, cleaning, martyr, OCD, not on time to work but always EARLY, loved to play "host" in her home to people, obsessed by details, showed love by gifts, invasive, controlling, et al...yeah we didn't get along the best, I'm not going to talk about that here because it's not the point...but when I did get along with her I was surprised how cool and open minded she could be about certain things, and the same kind old lady "no nonsense" with certain topics of discussion if you really got to know her. The thing was though, you really had to know her to see it.
"Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey