You sound passive-aggressive. I'm VERY direct. Your methods are probably much more effective in driving a person like this crazy, so maybe you're on to something.Your withdrawal and unwillingness to cooperate was feeding her fury
This I do agree. My Ne hits overdrive under stress, picking up hints and interpreting them to be malicious (perhaps a bit too much at times), which gives me further reasons to distance myself. To be fair, I was never unwilling to cooperate. I never turned in any of my work LATE, I just waited until the deadline even if I had the work done. I did want to see her pissed even more though because..well, she is just, such an attention-seeking high-maintainance ..b*tch! She gets hysteric when she's pissed off (which seems like 70% of her being, I kid you not), it's kind of hilarious to watch.
How is complaining that the room is cold "victim talk"?Ever since I grew quiet, she's the only one in the group distracting the work flow with her incessant complaints about her boyfriend (who is the nicest guy in the world!), her school work, and her other non-related "victim-talk" nonsense (omg this room is SOO COLD!).
She is a self-typed ESFJ, though I do think she's more ESTJ.
- She's really into timetables and schedules (Te?)
- She insists on following a previous team's outline of the report word for word without evaluating whether the team's work is applicable to ours (Si?)
Ha ha...I'm guilty of this too...I'm seriously thinking your friend is an ESTJ.
- Sounds like an STJ.
Because she complains about being cold?
- She's an attention seeking hypochondriac (as described above)
- She thinks she's being a good person by being "blunt" (which is often times more direct attacks on people but she justifies them)
You do realize that Fe doms are usually more careful with what they say, right? If she were ESFJ she might be equally as controlling, but I doubt she'd openly pride herself on being blunt. Generally they achieve control with a certain level of manipulation that they may or may not be able to even be called out on. Fe would boss you around, but be a bit more smooth about it.
I hope I haven't alienated some SJ people who have seen this thread, I am also curious to know what you find annoying when working with groups.
Thanks so much everyone for such constructive advices. As much as I hit the sore spot on the ESFJ girl (because she made it personal and deserved it!), I would like to avoid conflicts like this as much as possible in the future. I probably won't confront her directly, but I will remove her from my facebook friends list haha
Well, the only way to avoid confrontations with someone like that is to avoid them. However, I think just deleting people from your facebook and not confronting them directly is passive-aggressive and may inadvertantly cause MORE drama. I'd just tell her why you don't want to be friends anymore in a short email so you don't have to deal with a face-to-face confrontation if it bothers you so much.