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[INTP] INTP Women

vavel7

New member
Joined
Nov 7, 2010
Messages
1
Dresses?? Nooo.... I don't know what to do with myself in them!! I tend to have some casual ones or casual skirts for the summer days (in greece it's hot) but I basically never wear dresses when the temperature is below 30 degrees! I remember that when I was a teenager till my early 20's I was more girlish (I do have a very good taste in clothes and colours-my mum managed to instill in me- but I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate shopping when is not reaaaallyyyy needed) because till then I hadn't completely accepted myself yet. Probably that was the reason that I actually had some at least short-term romantic relationships back then.

After that period I just accepted me. People that knew me in the past still don't understand often how it is possible to seem to become less and less "feminine" as years pass because they find themselves "fit into" the typical roles more easily as they grow up while I seem to grow out of them. What I do know about me as an INTP woman is that I'll never fit into any gender-roles, and I couldn't care less. However, that just increases the possibility of living a life of solitude. I feel like a "lonely wolf" kind of person and this is an expression used more often for men more than for women. But I do feel exactly like that! I just can't be ever anyone's "emotional blanket" ever & I need a loooot of space and no one can invade into that physical and mental space.

Only for people I care and trust I can go out of my "space" and if they are very very warm, kind, non-judgmental. easy-going & interesting personalities enough I'll stick around and be completely open to them till I retriet again in my shell for sometime... These very very few people are destined to be my best friends.

However, I do have consciouly developed social & mental skills to maintain an SJ persona at work or when I feel that I'll deal with very "serious" or "typical" people or when I first make contact with other people before they get to know me better in order to maintain some "friends" around as long as I live or work somewhere...

When I was younger before I get to study psychology and get into self-exploration I just assumed that I hadn't internalised most of the characteristics that society associates with women. Sometimes, I think that if I was a lesbian I could hide behind a sexual orientation-interepretation kind of thing and that would solve the problem but as I'm not I cannot hide from my inner-self personality tendencies I guess...
 
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