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Thread: INTP Women

  1. #51
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I think in some of those situations, the J woman ends up doing a lot of the practical stuff the INTP dude can't be bothered with.
    Yes, that's how I see it... especially when it comes to maintenance-related things (relationship maintenance, house maintenance, family maintenance, etc.) The woman makes all the practical decisions he (1) isn't interested in making just as a matter of course and (2) finds confusing to resolve because he doesn't have as good as sense of emotional or relational matters. A lot of those decisions might seem arbitrary also, from a rational POV, and tied in more just to personal preference; and for people not really attached to their emotions or able to sense their preferences easily, they can be excruciating to make. J women tend to free up the INTP male to just chase his intellectual fixation of the moment.

    It doesn't seem to work that way in reverse. It's a pity straight INTP women can't have a nice wife to handle our affairs.
    ....hmmm... market opening!

    I agree about feeling like I'm on the clock. I was raised by Js and tend to want to reaaaaally take my time if someone's pressuring me to adhere to their schedule.
    heh.
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  2. #52
    Consulting Detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Yes, that's how I see it... especially when it comes to maintenance-related things (relationship maintenance, house maintenance, family maintenance, etc.) The woman makes all the practical decisions he (1) isn't interested in making just as a matter of course and (2) finds confusing to resolve because he doesn't have as good as sense of emotional or relational matters. A lot of those decisions might seem arbitrary also, from a rational POV, and tied in more just to personal preference; and for people not really attached to their emotions or able to sense their preferences easily, they can be excruciating to make. J women tend to free up the INTP male to just chase his intellectual fixation of the moment.
    Probably more likely with an SJ who would be more willing to fall into female gender roles. I reckon NJs would be less lenient with their male partners.

    But personally I'd rather have a relationship with a P, and probably an NP as well.

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    Relationally, I do best with NPs.

    However, that kinda puts us in a bind when it comes to paying the bills on time, creating chore lists, and adhering to schedules.

    Then AGAIN... neither of us care if we're on time, get all the chores done on a routine basis, or get everywhere on time, so... what's it matter?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Relationally, I do best with NPs.

    However, that kinda puts us in a bind when it comes to paying the bills on time, creating chore lists, and adhering to schedules.

    Then AGAIN... neither of us care if we're on time, get all the chores done on a routine basis, or get everywhere on time, so... what's it matter?
    This. Except maybe the bills.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    I wonder why that is? When so many of the men end up with IXXJs...

    I was fond of an ESTJ once. But he used to schedule our activities down to the nanosecond. It made me laugh and I liked teasing him about it at the time, but I think it would eventually drive me nuts.
    He was fantastic fun though, clever and funny and modest and good at everything. Very sexy.
    But I really hate being on the clock. Naturally, I take a reeeaaallly long time to do anything and everything. And even though he was very good- natured and patient, I just can't relax around Js in the way I can with Ps. I feel like I'm always being rushed or measured in some way. I imagine my heel-dragging is just as irritating to them.
    Yeah...ESTJs can be sexy as hell with that confidence.

    I got a weakness for SJs...it's my masochistic side trying to display itself for flagellation.

    But that impatient foot tapping in the background...

    "It's 7:00 a.m. Why aren't you up yet?"
    "Wha--? I just went to bed a few hours ago. Is something wrong?"
    "No."
    "Then why the fuck are you waking me up now?"
    Looks of shock and disgust exchanged here.
    Points at clock--"Because it's 7:03 now and it's time to get up!"
    Thoughts of "jerk" and "lazy-ass" passed telepathically now.
    "Fuck that. It's Saturday and the only thing I have to do now is sleep. Now GTFO. I'll see you at 1:00...maybe. And don't ever do this shit again."

    SJ comes back in at 1:00 p.m.

    ooh, this does not look good....

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I think in some of those situations, the J woman ends up doing a lot of the practical stuff the INTP dude can't be bothered with.
    But J men can be good at handling practical stuff too. I can understand rationally why they'd make that choice, I just don't really understand the attraction. After all, few of us make these choices rationally, even if we can rationalise them after the fact. For that matter, I can't understand what Js see in Ps. Seems like they are the masochistic ones to pursue people who are bound to frustrate and irritate them. I never met a J I couldn't irritate (often without trying ).

    It comes back to the gender passivity difference that I still have no solid answer for. Male INTPs don't seem to mind being bossed around, in fact, they like it; female INTPs always seem to balk at it. Perhaps it comes from looking beyond surface interactions to an understanding of the real power dynamics at play. Perhaps it's just the influence of social conditioning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Then AGAIN... neither of us care if we're on time, get all the chores done on a routine basis, or get everywhere on time, so... what's it matter?
    NPs for me too.
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    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    INTP women don't seem to have a need or desire to be balanced out by a J. We're much more likely to feel boxed in by J-ness. I could see being with a mild J if he understood he wasn't going to change me.
    It seems that INTP women don't want to be boxed in by anyone, J or P. They seem more likely to be single (and happier being single) than INTP men.

  8. #58
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    It seems that INTP women don't want to be boxed in by anyone, J or P. They seem more likely to be single (and happier being single) than INTP men.
    Too true.
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  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Yeah...ESTJs can be sexy as hell with that confidence.

    I got a weakness for SJs...it's my masochistic side trying to display itself for flagellation.

    But that impatient foot tapping in the background...

    "It's 7:00 a.m. Why aren't you up yet?"
    "Wha--? I just went to bed a few hours ago. Is something wrong?"
    "No."
    "Then why the fuck are you waking me up now?"
    Looks of shock and disgust exchanged here.
    Points at clock--"Because it's 7:03 now and it's time to get up!"
    Thoughts of "jerk" and "lazy-ass" passed telepathically now.
    "Fuck that. It's Saturday and the only thing I have to do now is sleep. Now GTFO. I'll see you at 1:00...maybe. And don't ever do this shit again."

    SJ comes back in at 1:00 p.m.

    ooh, this does not look good....
    This reminds me of when I was a kid with my ESFJ mother:

    ESFJ: "ZOMG Alex it's already 8:00 am, wake up and start getting ready."
    Me: *pretending to sleep*
    ESFJ: "Alex."
    ESFJ: "Alex."
    Me: zzzzz.
    ESFJ: "Half the day is practically GONE, don't you want to get things done?"
    Me: ..................................
    ESFJ: "Saturday's are for being PRODUCTIVE! How can you sleep like that all day?"
    ESFJ: *picks up her slobbery Pomeranian and dumps it on my head*

    BITCH SLAP X 2

    Me: "GTFO. Now."

    And interestingly enough, my mother always squandered the whole "productive" day chatting on the phone, yet I started getting my own shit done at noon and didn't stop until midnight.

    How INTPs would put up with this, I have no idea.
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  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    And interestingly enough, my mother always squandered the whole "productive" day chatting on the phone, yet I started getting my own shit done at noon and didn't stop until midnight.

    How INTPs would put up with this, I have no idea.
    I do a lot less than I'm told to and I get yelled at but I just zone out a lot of the time.
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