I have a friend (INTJ, for the record) who is anticipating grief right now, and I've been observing it for ... well, a year, but more intensely over the last month or so because his mother is in the end stage of cancer. In a lot of ways, it seems to me that everybody experiences grief pretty similarly (there's some truth to the predicted stages of grief), but I wonder how different types might express it differently.
Observations about my friend: His mom has had cancer for... I think two or three years? He has, in some ways, really put his own life on hold to be available to his family. He has only recently been able (willing?) to talk to me about it, perhaps because it's only recently become so intense and imminent that he is compelled to. And he has been very reluctant to accept the inevitability. And he hasn't really wanted to hear my thoughts about death and grief (my perspective is that it's okay and healthy to face it) and surprised me one night by expressing sadness and anger and then telling me that my thoughts weren't welcome (which I didn't take personally - I realize(d) that as a friend, he needed me to listen and not talk; sometimes the most loving thing to do is to keep "loving advice" to oneself). I was surprised because he doesn't really do the emotions and needs thing much, but he was clear about what he didn't need that time.
Thoughts on my grief experience as an NF: When my brother was dying, I had to talk and write about it a lot, as some of you may remember from NCen. My sister (INFP) did as well. She was working with developmentally disabled adults that summer, and she talked about how healing that was for her. I know that I was pretty vocal about my fears and anxieties, and while I felt that I had to be "strong" for my parents, I never felt that I had to be stoic.
Thoughts? Also, what might an NT need from a friend when he's grieving? Does everyone need basically the same thing? At this point, I'm serving a purely practical function for my friend by assisting him with work stuff while he has to be out, but I really just want to squeeze him and tell him that he's loved. But he doesn't really do the hugging thing, and I don't want to creep him out.