He hates conflict and all the drama and bad feelings that frequently go along with it. It is highly unpleasant to him, much more so than it is to me. He also genuinely cares about the feelings of others, not so much that he goes out of his way to make people feel good (because he doesn't do that with people outside the family) but in that he dislikes hurting people or making them feel bad. He is a kind person. He treats everyone with courtesy and respect because it is a part of his personal system of ethics to do so and, I suspect, because life just works better that way.
I think that, regardless of your type, if your true nature is asshole, it is definitely in your best interest to hide it. People do not like being treated inconsiderately and tend to retaliate (sometimes covertly, as you have observed) when they are.