I see. I kinda hear what you're sayin', Seahorse, maybe I think it's not exactly assertiveness, but a need for cognition and information. I had a boss what was ESTJ to the irritating max. My assertiveness only got me into trouble when I wanted answers to things and she couldn't provide them because we didn't think the same way. I ended up offending her bigtime. While I saw the whole thing as simply an exchange of ideas, she saw it as a power game that was wrapped up in territorial dispute. Similar to your experience, my desire for information (whether through debate or not) blinds me to the other issues and sensitivities that are floating around that other losers get bogged down by. LOL.