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  1. #1
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    Default INTP and INFP friendships

    I have made friends with an INFP male over the past couple of months. It's an interesting friendship for me because most of my relationships are based on mutual intellectual interests, which is not to say this INFP isn't intelligent, but this relationship has clearly developed based on him being emotionally attracted to me. This is rather new to me, at least with a fellow introvert.

    It was obvious from our first meeting that he really enjoyed my company. He would stand there giving me puppy dog eyes and gradually ease closer to me, as though he just wanted to be physically near me. After we'd know each other for a bit and I had discovered how kind and gentle he was, I decided his friendship was very much worth cultivating, and told him that it was okay for him to come near me and to touch me. Immediately, relief flooded him and he began hugging me and kissing me on the top of the head. I find it interesting that his feelings toward me are so protective and innocent (I'm rather good at figuring out when men are friendly and when they just want my body). People who approach me for friendship or relationships usually do so because they're interested in my mind or we share hobbies, so I find it unusual but a little heartwarming that he clearly adores me personally.

    At the same time, we often have rather odd little discussions. One of our first talks involved him telling me how he felt 'bunny-ish', which perplexed me as I've never felt anything other than Mipp-ish. I asked him if he was a member of that Otherkin subculture I'd heard about on the internet, and he responded with confusion. He's not any sort of Otherkin, he just feels 'like a bunny rabbit' sometimes. While not rational, it seems harmless enough. He also rarely bugs me with small talk. It's pleasant to be around someone and not have to listen to idle chattering about inane topics.

    Overall, I'm very satisfied with my INFP friend. I'm not sure I'd want two dozen INFPs just like him, but I think that this relationship will be good for both of us. How are the other INTP/INFP friendships/relationships going? What are the oddest things your INFP companion has said or done? (I think my friend's other unusual moment was wearing a chicken hat to a heavy metal club with me. No, I don't know why it wasn't a bunny hat.)

  2. #2
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    I think he is in love with you.

  3. #3
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Is this you guys together?


    --------------

    My friendships with INTPs have always been based on an intellectual connection. I'm not a huggy person either, and I used to even hate hugging. I like to hug someone now, but it has to be genuine (most of the time it feels obligatory).

    It doesn't seem the case here, but I wouldn't mistake general "niceness" from an INFP to mean they enjoy someone. That's one of two common social masks, the other being aloof.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mipp View Post
    At the same time, we often have rather odd little discussions. One of our first talks involved him telling me how he felt 'bunny-ish', which perplexed me as I've never felt anything other than Mipp-ish. I asked him if he was a member of that Otherkin subculture I'd heard about on the internet, and he responded with confusion. He's not any sort of Otherkin, he just feels 'like a bunny rabbit' sometimes. While not rational, it seems harmless enough.
    LOL, sounds like INFP flirting to me. I think he likes you and would like to be your little funny bunny.

    I only say stuff like this to my husband. Maybe something about having Si in the child position or something, not sure.

    I also am not "touchy-feely" with my friends much less kissing them on top of the head. He's put out his little feelers with all this mushy stuff. it feels safer that way. jmo here of course.

  5. #5
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    INFP's and INTP's make a unique pairing. Let's face it, INTP's tend to be a little quirky too. Maybe not in the "I hop around my apartment on all fours and leave little droppings all over the carpet" sense, but we can seem pretty eccentric to a large chunk of the overall population.

    What I'm getting at is that maybe he sees you as strange and unique just like you see him that way. That's what I've found nice about the INFP friendships I've had. We can both be ourselves and it's usually pretty hilarious and a good time.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    What I'm getting at is that maybe he sees you as strange and unique just like you see him that way. That's what I've found nice about the INFP friendships I've had. We can both be ourselves and it's usually pretty hilarious and a good time.
    That. We get each other and can laugh at / enjoy the differences. Usually we connect via Ne-style thinking, and it's very fun and very positive. There's a lot of laughter involved. I am usually a haven who can take any of the "dark/less gentle" thoughts in stride and even in humor (no idea is off-limits in my presence!), and I appreciate having someone who can let me explore some of my stronger but still ambiguous feelings openly without me having to understand them right away.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #7
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    We can both be ourselves and it's usually pretty hilarious and a good time.
    This is a huge bonus
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #8
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    I think he is in love with you.
    this.

  9. #9
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    The OP made me feel very uncomfortable. I'd freak out when the touching and kissing started.



  10. #10
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Sounds more pleasant than my bunny experiences



    First off you are lucky to have the advantage of knowing the person is a INFP and you are an INTP from the get go and having a general idea that you two think/feel things differently to assist in your toleration/appreciation of him. Many women, particularly T doms, would just be confused.

    The quirkiness sounds kinda fun and silly. Be gentle, maybe a little more loving than usual with him and it should go well.

    The bunny is a good metaphor on how to handle him. Consider the proper care and feeding of bunnies.

    I never had a bunny before but I had friends who had them as pets and did my fair share of bunny sitting.

    When you the INTP are with a real bunny a different side of yourself comes out. First it usually starts with me looking around to see if anyone is watching. (I had a 'tough guy' ISTP friend who had a warren of rabbits regularly visit him and we would get a kick at watching the transformation of a cold hard hitting SOB to a gentle bunny lover, which would crack us up.)

    Then one makes slow movements to toward the bunny and talks softly. I then give it some food, it hops towards me and I watch it eat while making pleasant dinner conversation.

    Followed by putting in on my chest and start doting and petting it while both daydreaming in the sun and observing it . And when I notice it poops on me I scold it gently in a contrived light serious tone.

    Don't worry he won't be a bunny forever. Just enjoy it while it lasts as a unique experience. Normal people are boring anyways.
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