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  1. #21
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    I do this all the time when I have to walk across the road to one of my classes. I love it. So you think that'll help?
    Well, yeah, that's what we like. But, just because you do that doesn't mean she will automatically like you in a romantic way. Either she sees you that way or she doesn't. But, that's how to get close to us and give yourself the best chance.

    Also, do not try to control, manipulate, mold, coerce, or cage this animal. That's when we either (a) show our teeth, or (b) hop the fence and never come back.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  2. #22
    Member Cerridwen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    1. Get her alone
    2. Have good "N" conversation with her.
    3. Repeat several times. Days or weeks might pass between each meeting, but that's probably preferable for her.
    Yes.

    Keep in mind things will move very slowly. She may not even notice you like her. So just persist, persist, persist. Eventually, you'll get some kind of response from her. Keep in mind, if she doesn't like you the same way, she'll probably tell you straight up.

    While persisting, please try not to crowd her and try to spend every waking minute with her. That will probably scare her off (or at least it scares me off when some guy won't leave me the heck alone). Have a conversation about one of her interests one on one, wait a day or two, do it again, wait a few days, and do it again, etc. That's how my boyfriend got to me, anyway. It's just a matter of holding my interest and slowly getting eased into a relationship.
    Nothing can become anything if you tilt your head and squint.

  3. #23
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Get her to like you in a relationship sense, or just in general?



  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Get her to like you in a relationship sense, or just in general?
    Relationship sense. She already likes me in general. I'm her friend.

  5. #25
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    Relationship sense. She already likes me in general. I'm her friend.
    I'm not sure if this is an INTP thing, a female INTP thing, a female thing or just a me thing; but I don't date friends. Sure, my standards for friendship are identical to romantic relationships (makes sense in the long run, I find) but once I call someone a friend, that's usually as far as it will go. Why jeopardise a relationship by throwing romance into it, if it's going well on a platonic level? I dunno. I prefer to pursue a romantic relationship from the beginning and allow the "friendship" to develop inside the relationship, rather than make friends first. But like I said, that could just be my take on it. All I'm saying ia don't expect her to just see you in a totally new light.
    Um, yeah.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    I'm not sure if this is an INTP thing, a female INTP thing, a female thing or just a me thing; but I don't date friends. Sure, my standards for friendship are identical to romantic relationships (makes sense in the long run, I find) but once I call someone a friend, that's usually as far as it will go. Why jeopardise a relationship by throwing romance into it, if it's going well on a platonic level? I dunno. I prefer to pursue a romantic relationship from the beginning and allow the "friendship" to develop inside the relationship, rather than make friends first. But like I said, that could just be my take on it.
    I am actually the total opposite of that. I absolutely CAN NOT date someone unless I know them as a friend and know that I would enjoy a romantic relationship with them. I have to feel a deep and important connection. Maybe that's why I've never had a relationship before, I have high standards. Although I'm only 17. But yeah, I would only date someone I knew well. I can't even imagine trying to date someone I didn't know. I would completely screw it up though. That's certain.

  7. #27
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    I'm not sure if this is an INTP thing, a female INTP thing, a female thing or just a me thing; but I don't date friends. Sure, my standards for friendship are identical to romantic relationships (makes sense in the long run, I find) but once I call someone a friend, that's usually as far as it will go. Why jeopardise a relationship by throwing romance into it, if it's going well on a platonic level? I dunno. I prefer to pursue a romantic relationship from the beginning and allow the "friendship" to develop inside the relationship, rather than make friends first. But like I said, that could just be my take on it. All I'm saying ia don't expect her to just see you in a totally new light.
    I don't know how old you are, but have you ever liked someone romantically and had them consider *you* "just a friend"? How would you take that? Just forget about it and be friends?

    I agree with the last poster. The potential boyfriend group is a small subset of the friend group, also known as people I actually like to be around. I can't imagine those two sets not being contained like that.
    I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
    - Umberto Eco

    INTP e9 (sx/so/sp)
    Ti = Ne (41.3) > Si (31.2) ~ Ni (31.1) ~ Te (30.1) > Se (24.1) >> Fe (21) & Fi (20.1)

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by hilo View Post
    I don't know how old you are, but have you ever liked someone romantically and had them consider *you* "just a friend"? How would you take that? Just forget about it and be friends?
    Honestly, it would tear me apart inside, but I would pretend to be indifferent about it because I would be totally screwed if I lost them as a friend because of it.

  9. #29
    *hmmms* theadoor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodgrief View Post
    Relationship sense. She already likes me in general. I'm her friend.
    I'm not an INTP, but there's one lesson I've learnt and now it's like an unwritten law for me. I just simply avoid getting too close and friendly with my boy friends. The same thing always happens after a while and it just makes the whole friendship thing way more complicated.
    If you really like her as a girl and you're ready to take the risk and probably ruin the friendship or make it very awkward, I would say just be a bit more aggressive, show her you like her and invite her out. If you never try, you never know.
    Oh yeah?

  10. #30
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Quote Originally Posted by hilo View Post
    I don't know how old you are, but have you ever liked someone romantically and had them consider *you* "just a friend"? How would you take that? Just forget about it and be friends?
    Yes, but I didn't actually realise how I felt about them until later on. I just thought I really enjoyed their company. I ignored my feelings until they subsided, in order to preserve the friendship. Turned my attention towards other potential partners. I'm less emotionally oblivious now, though.
    Um, yeah.

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