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Thread: developing Fi

  1. #1
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    Default developing Fi

    This post is primarily towards those with Fe and lacking Fi in the 4 main functions (not necessarily INTP):

    How do you feel about your Fi abilities (yes I realize the irony)?
    Have you tried to develop it? How?


    Lately this has come up as a huge weak spot for me. Before the entanglements of human relationships, I felt like Ti was my hammer, and every problem was a nail. Now I am really really waking up to the reality that going through life without knowing you you really feel, without a core set of absolutes, well, sucks. When it comes time to make a judgment for which Ti is wholly inappropriate (like, do i want to spend the rest of my life with this person? etc. big stuff), how do you figure out what you are feeling versus what you are trying to rationalize as feeling?

    Does this problem even make sense?
    I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
    - Umberto Eco

    INTP e9 (sx/so/sp)
    Ti = Ne (41.3) > Si (31.2) ~ Ni (31.1) ~ Te (30.1) > Se (24.1) >> Fe (21) & Fi (20.1)

  2. #2
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    As an INTP, you should perhaps work on Fe, first. It's more accessible to you. Fi would likely be trickier, just as Fe is the trickiest of the judging functions for me.

    Check out this thread. It is also investigating Fi from the point of view of Fe.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  3. #3
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    This problem makes a lot of sense yes, but I have no sample solution to it, as in Ti fail.

    I had the luck to meet my INFJ and she has an amazing ability to understand what I feel, when I am not even realizing that I feel a thing atm. At the beginning I accused her of making only assumptions but in time when I started to look at myself objectively, I at least understood what she's talking about.

    The thing is, at least with me, I am an ultimate victim to my surroundings, while my body and my mind live in a somewhat detached state. Meaning, while I stay stoic in my mind all the time, the body perceives the environment and lets me feel and empathize. For example when my girlfriend is pissed, I get pissed too very quickly without noticing it or if the environment of a restaurant for example is uncomfortable, I get uncomfortable. To me that is the epitome of a dominant perceiver, with the huge problem that I do not notice those changes, cause I dont pay attention to my body but rather think that I am in control.

    It is a rather complicated conflinct and I have learned by paying attention to find out more about myself. For example you maybe now those situations in which you suddenly, while watching a movie, burst in tears. You didnt see that coming and then it just happens, stays on for a minute and then is gone. Those are the moments your bodily reactions emerged to that point that you even yourself notices them and if you watch the moments in which that happens you can devise a pattern. I for example found out that I do attach feelings to objects, which lets me appear to be iconoclastic or what's it called. I tend to regulary feel sad about things I for example donated to my sister when she was born and it was not sure if she was going to survive and I donated her a damned doll. That doll broke when she got 14 and I had to cry.

    Well, I am probably not helping much, therefore my bottom line advice now: you need to talk about your feelings, in fact you need to talk about them a lot. If you do not have someone to talk, maybe try out a counsellor, they are quite good ( I heard ).

    I dunno, but what I do know is talking about it, is damn good !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #4
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hilo View Post

    Does this problem even make sense?
    No it doesn't

    Which is why it's a tremendous problem for us. Looking forward to some of the responses from some of the older INTPs...and Fluffywolf! Though I think his answer was don't listen to Fi ever, under any circumstances.



  5. #5
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Meditate, know how you feel inside aswell as how you feel inside.. that's probably Si . I can do this stuff, it just tends to be easier to think about the feelings of others, rather than my own. Get someone else to help too, particularly someone feelery
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  6. #6
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post
    Meditate, know how you feel inside aswell as how you feel inside.. that's probably Si . I can do this stuff, it just tends to be easier to think about the feelings of others, rather than my own. Get someone else to help too, particularly someone feelery
    My problem is more along the "I can't use my own feelings or feely opinions in an argument because I don't think they're valid and I can't argue them properly."



  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    My problem is more along the "I can't use my own feelings or feely opinions in an argument because I don't think they're valid and I can't argue them properly."
    They are valid in that they are yours. You just hammer them through regardless.

  8. #8
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    My problem is more along the "I can't use my own feelings or feely opinions in an argument because I don't think they're valid and I can't argue them properly."
    ahhh, I see. Well, most of emotive/feelery actions are presented in a physical way aren't they? For example, the Death Stare!! It's probably a bit easier to display your feelings with action than to translate them into English and speak them at people. Arguing with feeling would probably be a nice skill to work on though, but I think it would be hard to just develop quickly.

    add: well (now that I have carefully read the OP), This is what I would define as Fi. For example, an ESFP might engage in combat to protect a friend. I, on the other hand, would try to use some kind of logic, the pros and cons, 'is it worth it?', instead of acting on value alone. Introverts might be differ here though. I'm certain that most religions try to instill you with some of these values. If you read enough books, you'll probably attain quite a few values. Freeman Dyson was probably an INTP, and he faced quite a lot of moral problems, it was quite clear that he had trouble working out where to stand from a logical point of view. As he grew older and gained more wisdom, his views became more refined too. I'm sure this naturally happens to INTPs, so long as you face the problems and don't stuff around too much
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  9. #9
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    add: well (now that I have carefully read the OP), This is what I would define as Fi. For example, an ESFP might engage in combat to protect a friend. I, on the other hand, would try to use some kind of logic, the pros and cons, 'is it worth it?', instead of acting on value alone. Introverts might be differ here though. I'm certain that most religions try to instill you with some of these values. If you read enough books, you'll probably attain quite a few values. Freeman Dyson was probably an INTP, and he faced quite a lot of moral problems, it was quite clear that he had trouble working out where to stand from a logical point of view. As he grew older and gained more wisdom, his views became more refined too. I'm sure this naturally happens to INTPs, so long as you face the problems and don't stuff around too much
    5 3 9

  10. #10
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    curious...without fi how to you come to determine how you feel on such things as capital punishment or abortion?

    example me?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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