[INTP] I hate being INTP

[durentu]

There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. - RW Emerson, Self Reliance

When I find that the answers I seek don't exist, I typically say to myself "I'm not learning fast or hard enough". If I have exhausted my research, then I start my experiments.

 

[think2much]

I'll try to answer your question, but it would be helpful if you answer for for me first: How can you hate being INTP? What is it that is wrong with the INTPness?

I f'ing hate life right now. I hate the idea I'm going to be alone forever. I mean I can't have friends PERIOD. I want to get a girl but it's impossible for me to get one cause I can't stand most girls. (No freaking human being wants to interact with me)

I guess deep inside I'm ok with being INTP, I just freaking hate how the world doesn't understand me or hates me. INTP and society doesn't work well together. I just hate everything right now. If I can't understand "feelings" I get freaking angry. I been having a lot of short angry outburst.

 

[eagleseven]

I guess deep inside I'm ok with being INTP, I just freaking hate how the world doesn't understand me or hates me.

You could always embrace your inner villain. Surprisingly, many are attracted to those who proudly go against the grain.

Hell knows, if it weren't for those people, most INTJs would die alone...

 

[Phantonym]

I f'ing hate life right now. I hate the idea I'm going to be alone forever. I mean I can't have friends PERIOD. I want to get a girl but it's impossible for me to get one cause I can't stand most girls. (No freaking human being wants to interact with me)

I guess deep inside I'm ok with being INTP, I just freaking hate how the world doesn't understand me or hates me. INTP and society doesn't work well together. I just hate everything right now. If I can't understand "feelings" I get freaking angry. I been having a lot of short angry outburst.

What is is about loneliness that scares you?

Why do you want to have friends? What would you do with them?

Why do you want a girlfriend? What would you do with her?

Why do you want to surround yourself with people?

What is it you want the world to understand?

Why do you think the world hates you?

Where does this anger and hate come from?

How would the world be like if you had all those things you want?

Why would you feel happier, more content?

Why wouldn't you be able to get all those things on your own?

What do you need to do to get all those things you want?

Do you expect other people to show you the way or are you willing to do something about it, other than complaining?


My point is that unless you pick apart the things that cause you trouble, unless you try to find solutions, things will never get better.

I guess the main questions are: Do you want things to change? How bad do you want it?

Good luck with everything.

 

[Unique]

Sky is blue, telling him to change or "do something about it" is ridiculous. What refreshed said is exactly what its like being INTP. Its like banging your head against a fu*king door until you meet another INTP

You can't change your preferences and its true that our preferences don't mesh well with mainstream society, but I'm okay with that most of the time because I know how deluded most humans are and its kinda cool to see the box from the outside

Refreshed mate try and get a few intuitive friends, if you wanna blow off some steam I highly recommend rave parties, its impossible to piss people off at them =P if that's not your thing get into ANY alternative scene, I've found most of the alternative crowds will have more intuitive thinkers and its SO good to have a decent conversation, it pretty much centers me

Like all humans INTPs need SOME social interaction, so I completely understand your frustration because lets face it, most people are complete douche heads to INTPs, make us out to be weird and shit, you know what society FUCK YOU! you're the weird ones, look how fucked up the world is, maybe you should listen to the minoritys cause the majority is getting it wrong

 

[Phantonym]

Sky is blue, telling him to change or "do something about it" is ridiculous. What refreshed said is exactly what its like being INTP. Its like banging your head against a fu*king door until you meet another INTP

You can't change your preferences and its true that our preferences don't mesh well with mainstream society, but I'm okay with that most of the time because I know how deluded most humans are and its kinda cool to see the box from the outside

Refreshed mate try and get a few intuitive friends, if you wanna blow off some steam I highly recommend rave parties, its impossible to piss people off at them =P if that's not your thing get into ANY alternative scene, I've found most of the alternative crowds will have more intuitive thinkers and its SO good to have a decent conversation, it pretty much centers me

Like all humans INTPs need SOME social interaction, so I completely understand your frustration because lets face it, most people are complete douche heads to INTPs, make us out to be weird and shit, you know what society FUCK YOU! you're the weird ones, look how fucked up the world is, maybe you should listen to the minoritys cause the majority is getting it wrong

How is that more ridiculous than just wallowing in self pity, doing nothing and just waiting for things to change?

You can't change your preferences but you can change your attitude.

All I hear from refreshe123d and you is that oh, we're so bad off, it's the circumstances man, the circumstances are against us, it's the other people who are at fault, boo hoo hooooo, people are baaaad.

Maybe if you stopped doing that for a second and take responsibility of your own actions you'd see some difference. Positive difference.

Life is hard, deal with it.

 

[Unique]

Good old NFs, reading NTs emotions wrong since the dawn of time....

I didn't get the impression refreshed was "wallowing in self pity" at all, he said he was angry at how things are in his life and the world

I'm focused on the fundamental truth here and what he is saying IS correct. Obviously we have to live with it but its not like we can just go lalallala *poof* change and everything is fine, our actual soul person is rejected from society, that takes a bit of getting used to

We are bad off, the circumstances ARE against us, but all we can do is live with it, you make out as if there's something we can do about it, I've been alive 20 years, have a extremely analytical mind, have worked out some very deep problems but I am yet to work out a way an INTP can "click" with society, we just don't

THATs why I gave him actual advice rather than making him out to be a baby that just needs to "deal with it"

 

[Phantonym]

Good old NFs, reading NTs emotions wrong since the dawn of time....

I didn't get the impression refreshed was "wallowing in self pity" at all, he said he was angry at how things are in his life and the world

I'm focused on the fundamental truth here and what he is saying IS correct. Obviously we have to live with it but its not like we can just go lalallala *poof* change and everything is fine, our actual soul person is rejected from society, that takes a bit of getting used to

We are bad off, the circumstances ARE against us, but all we can do is live with it, you make out as if there's something we can do about it, I've been alive 20 years, have a extremely analytical mind, have worked out some very deep problems but I am yet to work out a way an INTP can "click" with society, we just don't

See, that's the kind of attitude that grates my nerves. To me it sounds defeatist. Why isn't there anything you can do about it? I don't accept that. There's always something you can do to find satisfaction in life instead of anger and hate. Who says the society must click anyway? What is that "click"? What does it involve? Why isn't is attainable? What do you think it takes to get there? Who is to blame? Should anybody be blamed at all? If you place the blame solely on others, then that is something that's never going to change and you'll always remain in the square one. Maybe it's you? You in particular. Don't take the easy way out and fall on the "INTP are too unique to click and there's nothing we can do about it".

THATs why I gave him actual advice rather than making him out to be a baby that just needs to "deal with it"

Giving advice is showing a way to deal with things. He's not a baby and it's up to him what he does with the advice. I merely expressed my opinion that if he's unhappy with his situation he should start digging for solutions, asking himself some questions and maybe find some answers that are helpful to him.

If you are angry at how things are going in your life and in the world, you deal with the anger, you try to change things so that you wouldn't feel angry anymore. It's not about putting on a happy face and pretending that everything is fine. It's about doing something about the situation, taking action instead of thinking about how bad things are in life.

Well, I expressed my opinion on the matter. I'm not here to attack anybody or stir up trouble. It's up to refreshe123d how he's going to deal with the things in his life.

 

[Shimmy]

Ooh, so bitter. I have to side with Sky is BLUE! here, if you hate your life and want it changed you should do something about it. If you secretly like the feeling of weltschmerz then you don't have really hate it and you can deal with it.

 

[Unique]

See, that's the kind of attitude that grates my nerves. To me it sounds defeatist. Why isn't there anything you can do about it? I don't accept that. There's always something you can do to find satisfaction in life instead of anger and hate. Who says the society must click anyway? What is that "click"? What does it involve? Why isn't is attainable? What do you think it takes to get there? Who is to blame? Should anybody be blamed at all? If you place the blame solely on others, then that is something that's never going to change and you'll always remain in the square one. Maybe it's you? You in particular. Don't take the easy way out and fall on the "INTP are too unique to click and there's nothing we can do about it".



Giving advice is showing a way to deal with things. He's not a baby and it's up to him what he does with the advice. I merely expressed my opinion that if he's unhappy with his situation he should start digging for solutions, asking himself some questions and maybe find some answers that are helpful to him.

If you are angry at how things are going in your life and in the world, you deal with the anger, you try to change things so that you wouldn't feel angry anymore. It's not about putting on a happy face and pretending that everything is fine. It's about doing something about the situation, taking action instead of thinking about how bad things are in life.

Well, I expressed my opinion on the matter. I'm not here to attack anybody or stir up trouble. It's up to refreshe123d how he's going to deal with the things in his life.

Who said I'm angry or unhappy

Call it defeated if you like, but I'm defeated and perfectly happy

I'm so sorry that bugs you, I'll just change my attitude now, just for you

As for refreshed, he is venting, that's my point... doesn't mean we aren't content when things are going the INTP way, they just often don't in this world... hence why I suggested finding more intuitive friends etc

 

[yvonne]

i've found that i am fighting against myself, not the world so much. why do you think people don't appreciate you? if you find a peaceful place in your own being, it is easier to deal with the rest of the world...

 

[Asterion]

I f'ing hate life right now. I hate the idea I'm going to be alone forever. I mean I can't have friends PERIOD. I want to get a girl but it's impossible for me to get one cause I can't stand most girls. (No freaking human being wants to interact with me)

I guess deep inside I'm ok with being INTP, I just freaking hate how the world doesn't understand me or hates me. INTP and society doesn't work well together. I just hate everything right now. If I can't understand "feelings" I get freaking angry. I been having a lot of short angry outburst.

There is an expectation made by society that you go out and get a girl/guy and be normal. It's driven by herd behaviour. I've seen some studies that show that when you're rejected by your peers, you get angry and your intelligence drops a little, we can't have that...

There are people out there that you're not going to get along with, and depending on what you do for a living, those people can be very abundant. It's pretty easy to work out where you'll meet people that you'll get along with, they will have similar interests to yours. You do have interests, right?

Good old NFs, reading NTs emotions wrong since the dawn of time....

I didn't get the impression refreshed was "wallowing in self pity" at all, he said he was angry at how things are in his life and the world

I'm focused on the fundamental truth here and what he is saying IS correct. Obviously we have to live with it but its not like we can just go lalallala *poof* change and everything is fine, our actual soul person is rejected from society, that takes a bit of getting used to

We are bad off, the circumstances ARE against us, but all we can do is live with it, you make out as if there's something we can do about it, I've been alive 20 years, have a extremely analytical mind, have worked out some very deep problems but I am yet to work out a way an INTP can "click" with society, we just don't

THATs why I gave him actual advice rather than making him out to be a baby that just needs to "deal with it"

If life gives you lemons, you make lemon juice and sell it as part of a weight loss program, because we all know you need sugar and stuff to make lemonade.

The circumstances are not against us, 20 years might not be long enough to make that judgement.

 

[LeafAndSky]

I f'ing hate life right now. I hate the idea I'm going to be alone forever. I mean I can't have friends PERIOD. I want to get a girl but it's impossible for me to get one cause I can't stand most girls. (No freaking human being wants to interact with me)

I guess deep inside I'm ok with being INTP, I just freaking hate how the world doesn't understand me or hates me. INTP and society doesn't work well together. I just hate everything right now. If I can't understand "feelings" I get freaking angry. I been having a lot of short angry outburst.

You've got a lot on your mind and on your plate. Missed deadlines resulting in failure of some kind, you mentioned previously. Parents. Feeling isolated. The "short angry outbursts" are a common way of reacting to pressure.

People have posted many extremely good observations and suggestions in this thread, in my opinion. But only you know which ones, if any, you'd want to handle, address, or consider right now.

I hope you find more ease in your life eventually. It's frustrating to not fit societal norms or expectations, because there's more stuff to deal with and less people around who get you. Yet how boring to be one of the majority, one of 'them'.

When 'different' people grow into their 'differentness' and really embrace it -- and that may take a while -- they turn into the most interesting and 'real' people. Unconventional. Independent thinkers and doers. People with wide-ranging interests and talents.

My companion is like that, and my closest friends are too. When young we felt socially awkward and often painfully isolated. It was ages before we dated, at which point we made some really stupid mistakes and then had some times so incredible that even though they didn't work out long-term, we're glad to have the memories. It gets better. Much better!

 

[think2much]

What is is about loneliness that scares you?
I like being alone. I just don't want to die alone and pretty much have my life pass away without anyone knowing my existence.

Why do you want to have friends? What would you do with them?
As I said above I don't enjoy hanging out with 99% of people.

Why do you want a girlfriend? What would you do with her?
well I said a "girl". I'm a human being, I have my needs.

Why do you want to surround yourself with people?
I don't

What is it you want the world to understand?
to understand me

Why do you think the world hates you?
cause I don't play along with them.

Where does this anger and hate come from?
well I listed some of the stuff that makes me angry from this post

How would the world be like if you had all those things you want?
I dunno about the world but I would be happy if I had those things but I don't know for how long. I'm pretty sure I'll get bored with it.

Why wouldn't you be able to get all those things on your own?
cause I'm "werid"

What do you need to do to get all those things you want?
I would have to lie, listen to people's feeling that I don't really care about, ask them tons of questions that I don't care about, give lots of emotions, remember their names. I hate doing all these things..... and I'm pretty sure I'll look "fake" if I tried to do these things.

Do you expect other people to show you the way or are you willing to do something about it, other than complaining?
well, I know that telling you my problems won't solve anything. I was pretty much venting how I can't do anything about it.

My point is that unless you pick apart the things that cause you trouble, unless you try to find solutions, things will never get better.
I guess the main questions are: Do you want things to change? How bad do you want it?
I can't change, this is who I am. It's always been this way.
Good luck with everything.

Sky is blue, telling him to change or "do something about it" is ridiculous. What refreshed said is exactly what its like being INTP. Its like banging your head against a fu*king door until you meet another INTP

You can't change your preferences and its true that our preferences don't mesh well with mainstream society, but I'm okay with that most of the time because I know how deluded most humans are and its kinda cool to see the box from the outside

Refreshed mate try and get a few intuitive friends, if you wanna blow off some steam I highly recommend rave parties, its impossible to piss people off at them =P if that's not your thing get into ANY alternative scene, I've found most of the alternative crowds will have more intuitive thinkers and its SO good to have a decent conversation, it pretty much centers me

Like all humans INTPs need SOME social interaction, so I completely understand your frustration because lets face it, most people are complete douche heads to INTPs, make us out to be weird and shit, you know what society FUCK YOU! you're the weird ones, look how fucked up the world is, maybe you should listen to the minoritys cause the majority is getting it wrong

well I agree I need some social interaction but I only met 2-5 in my life that I enjoy their company. yup they pretty much call us "werid" or "creepy".

 

[lunalum]

I hate the idea I'm going to be alone forever. I mean I can't have friends PERIOD. I want to get a girl but it's impossible for me to get one cause I can't stand most girls. (No freaking human being wants to interact with me)

I kind of see what you mean here, but I don't get why that last part is in parentheses. Aren't these two different problems?

I guess deep inside I'm ok with being INTP, I just freaking hate how the world doesn't understand me or hates me. INTP and society doesn't work well together.

Mhmm, we tend to be a pretty misunderstood type, but this isn't necessarily something to tear oneself to pieces about. Remember that the same things that make us unliked or incomprehensible are those that are most likely to be new to the world and bring us and/or the world success. It is sometimes helpful when things are difficult to distance yourselves from the people that do not understand, but if you need to form some human connection, it is time to go on a search for someone who can understand, or at least comes close to it. There are nearly 7 billion people out there and there is bound to be a few that will bring you some happiness. It may be far from easy to find them, but if you desire a connection this much I'm sure it'll be worth it.

 

[spin-1/2-nuclei]

sooo much to rant but I'll say one thing I hate the most. I hate searching for answers but answers I want doesn't seem to exists. :steam:

I always hated being INTP, for those "happy INTP" how the hell do you keep yourself happy and enjoy life?

I honestly don't think this has anything to do with being an INTP. I've read your other posts in this thread and in my opinion you just need a different lens through which to look at life.

Being "understood" by other people is not something that will ever come instantly, and since we are all so different being understood by everyone is impossible. You also can't expect to have meaningful friendships if you don't have respect for the personalities of others. You say that people think that you are "weird" but it seems that you dislike most people as well... which is a pretty huge hurdle to overcome.

You are basically saying that you don't find any value in other people but you want them to find value in you. This isn't really possible since most human interactions are only successful when there is a two-way street. Lopsided relationships typically fail or end with the people having unhealthy parasitic associations with one another.

I'm no psychologist but in my opinion you have to first be comfortable with yourself. What I mean is you have to embrace who you are. So if you truly can't find any value in anybody else then you have to accept that you will be alone as a consequence. If the effect of finding no value in others is too much weight for you to carry then you have to reevaluate the way you view other people, which means you will have to change yourself. On the other hand, there is no need for you to change anything if you find that you really don't find anyone in this entire world interesting enough to remember their name or respect who they are as a person and get to know them.

Either way you will have to come to terms with the fact that you can only control yourself and the way other people react to who you decide to be is out of your control. If you find that you are the person you want to be (the guy who doesn't find any other person worthy of interest) then you cannot complain that they return the favor to you. On the other hand if you want to be another guy (the guy who tries to find interest in some person and develop a relationship which would require remembering their name) then you might find that there are more people out there that are suitable to you than you think.

 

[Unique]

well I agree I need some social interaction but I only met 2-5 in my life that I enjoy their company. yup they pretty much call us "werid" or "creepy".

Best thing you can do seriously is just avoid the people that say we are creepy or weird

True story, I've been hanging around people on my level so long that when I met some new people a friend of mine told me that they thought I was weird, I was shocked at first but then I remembered that most people do think that about me and I'd just been sheltering myself

They aren't worth it anyway mate, those mainstream people have rocks in their head

You should ask them some time why they think you are a creep, the reasons are seriously retarded, tell them to go suck a fat one

 

[jixmixfix]

Don't hate being INTP!!!! My husband is INTP and he is the best person to ever enter my life. No INTPs = no incredible husband, and that would make me a .

sad banana?

 

[INTP]

sad banana?

looks more like shocked banana after being used as substitute for good husband

 

[Supernaut]

looks more like shocked banana after being used as substitute for good husband

ohhhhh shittt