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INTx: How do you deal with a lot of negative emotion?

Ozzy26

New member
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
46
MBTI Type
INTP
Whether its intense anger, sadness, whatever...how do you deal with excess negative emotion?

Whenever I'm dealing with a lot of emotion, especially anger, I've always felt the need to physically lash out. I'll completely flip out for a few minutes until I'm drained and then slowly go back to normal. Its always been my own way of venting when I can't bottle it up (which is probably the problem in the first place). Its resulted in me breaking things, injuring my hand numerous times punching things, etc. Is this normal for any other INTxs (or anyone)? There's gotta be a healthier way.

EDIT: I dunno how I managed to post this in the private section, its late and I'm crashing. Can a mod move it to the main NT forum? Thanks.
 

lets eat pie

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2010
Messages
123
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w6
That's pretty much what I find myself doing. I will usually fall into a state of frenzied restlessness, looking for meaningless tasks to distract myself and somehow make myself feel like I am being productive. At this point I do not even notice that I may be bottling up negative emotions, or even where such negativity comes from; like a plateau sort of situation. However, it comes to a point when one negative event or a wrong statement said to me (or both,) and everything seems to rush out all at once. I somehow manage to control myself into directing my anger onto inanimate objects, restricting the damage to things, or myself even, while lashing out. However, after this outburst, and after sleeping on it for a day or two, I usually find myself back to a normal, healthier state.

I've always adopted the 'ride it out' approach, and then try to learn from what I've been through when I am back to normal. I guess you could say I view events like these as pivotal moments for potential growth, and not really experiences I can avoid. It seems that after going through such an ordeal, everything that has happened is over and 'dealt with' Dealt seems to be the key word for me here; what's done is done and now I only have the future to worry about. What had happened no longer seems so terrible after its wake.

I'm not sure I can say I know from experience of any healthier way to deal with negativity. You could try talking with a confidante or exercising to relieve stress, but I've never felt comfortable enough to burden someone else with such personal matters, and I find exercising as a way to deal with negativity as just another symptom of the restlessness I mentioned earlier. Watching a a good movie or reading something inspiring might help give you focus, though.
 

Andy

Supreme High Commander
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
Messages
1,211
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Whether its intense anger, sadness, whatever...how do you deal with excess negative emotion?

Whenever I'm dealing with a lot of emotion, especially anger, I've always felt the need to physically lash out. I'll completely flip out for a few minutes until I'm drained and then slowly go back to normal. Its always been my own way of venting when I can't bottle it up (which is probably the problem in the first place). Its resulted in me breaking things, injuring my hand numerous times punching things, etc. Is this normal for any other INTxs (or anyone)? There's gotta be a healthier way.

EDIT: I dunno how I managed to post this in the private section, its late and I'm crashing. Can a mod move it to the main NT forum? Thanks.

Like most ITJs, I'm rather good at keeping my emotions under wraps for a long period of time. It takes a hell of a lot for me to actually explode, though when I finally do, it's all the more violent because of the pressure build up. When it does get to that point, I usually observe that things start to fly across the room.

I usually find the best way to deal with such things is to sit down somewhere quiet and think it all over to a resolve the issue, or at least learn to accept it. Then again, I'm an Fi user, so perhaps I would. Maybe as an Fe user, you would be better served by sitting down with a friend and talking it over.
 

Oeufa

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2010
Messages
694
MBTI Type
INTP
I'm like you, OP, in that I get violent (not with people!). I'll hit things, throw things, bite things - anything to get the negative emotions unleashed. I've broken more than one mobile phone that way, but not any bones. Yet :shock:

Yeah, it isn't particularly healthy but it works eh?
 

BlueGray

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2009
Messages
474
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
Going on a walk does it for me. Spending an hour or two with just my random thoughts and observing either nature or people is very calming.
 

Ozzy26

New member
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
46
MBTI Type
INTP
That's pretty much what I find myself doing. I will usually fall into a state of frenzied restlessness, looking for meaningless tasks to distract myself and somehow make myself feel like I am being productive. At this point I do not even notice that I may be bottling up negative emotions, or even where such negativity comes from; like a plateau sort of situation. However, it comes to a point when one negative event or a wrong statement said to me (or both,) and everything seems to rush out all at once. I somehow manage to control myself into directing my anger onto inanimate objects, restricting the damage to things, or myself even, while lashing out. However, after this outburst, and after sleeping on it for a day or two, I usually find myself back to a normal, healthier state.

This sums it up perfectly. Depending on the situation I'm usually back to normal in a few hours.

I usually find the best way to deal with such things is to sit down somewhere quiet and think it all over to a resolve the issue, or at least learn to accept it. Then again, I'm an Fi user, so perhaps I would. Maybe as an Fe user, you would be better served by sitting down with a friend and talking it over.

Venting does help sometimes, but if it gets to the point where I'm about to snap and turn violent I usually don't want anything to do with anyone. Its more about releasing pent up energy and draining myself if anything.

I'm like you, OP, in that I get violent (not with people!). I'll hit things, throw things, bite things - anything to get the negative emotions unleashed. I've broken more than one mobile phone that way, but not any bones. Yet :shock:

As I've gotten older I've learned to control myself to not break anything of worth...well...except my hand.

Thanks for the replies guys :)
 

StoryToTell

New member
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
53
MBTI Type
INxP
Enneagram
5w4
I currently identify as INxP but eh-
I HAVE to move. My favorite way of dealing with negative emotions is going on a drive and listening to music. Immersing myself in sensory pleasure is much better than stagnating with immobility.
I'll cry if I really have to, too.
 

Feops

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Joined
Feb 15, 2009
Messages
829
MBTI Type
INTx
I pace a lot, do housework, play violent video games, lift weights... anything to burn off energy and distract me until I'm able to sleep.

A good long sleep is the only thing that really clears my mind, everything else is a coping mechanism.
 

Shimmy

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Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
Not an INTX, but still answering because I can.

After something bad happening in my life, sports during the day, alcohol in the evening.
 

Uytuun

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Apr 19, 2008
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nnnn
I usually find the best way to deal with such things is to sit down somewhere quiet and think it all over to a resolve the issue, or at least learn to accept it.

That and I cry.
 
F

figsfiggyfigs

Guest
That and I cry.

me too.. alone though. not beside anyone, I don't like letting people see me cry, has nothing to do with it being a weakness, merely something very personal.


1. Go out for a walk at night

2. Listen to some music matching that mood ( angry: rock, metal; sad: ballads, songs about impending doom)

3. Go on forums or watch Tv to keep my mind occupied

4: draw

5. Post a blog entry

6. Call my best friend

7. Write a strongly worded letter. to myself. :doh:
 

Shimmy

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Jun 9, 2009
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1,867
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me too.. alone though. not beside anyone, I don't like letting people see me cry, has nothing to do with it being a weakness, merely something very personal.


1. Go out for a walk at night

2. Listen to some music matching that mood ( angry: rock, metal; sad: ballads, songs about impending doom)

3. Go on forums or watch Tv to keep my mind occupied

4: draw

5. Post a blog entry

6. Call my best friend

7. Write a strongly worded letter. to myself. :doh:

#1 & 7 work for me as well, but in the case of #7 I write it to whatever or whoever is the source of the negative emotion. And I never post it.
 
F

figsfiggyfigs

Guest
#1 & 7 work for me as well, but in the case of #7 I write it to whatever or whoever is the source of the negative emotion. And I never post it.

yes. that too!!! that is what i meant!! LOL :doh:
 

Cerridwen

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Feb 17, 2010
Messages
36
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INTP
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5
I have become extremely good at denial.

Oh and there's distracting myself with other things.

Then I get to the point where I'm restless... then usually I lock myself up and have a good cry or throw things.

... Hmmm. I don't think my method is very healthy...
 

Metamorphosis

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May 9, 2007
Messages
3,474
MBTI Type
INTJ
The best way!

Jameson_1780_Whiskey.jpg
 

hilo

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Mar 8, 2010
Messages
186
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INTP
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9 sx
I find dealing with sadness and anger to be two pretty different things.

For anger/frustration -

Before I started being physically active, I had huge problems with this. Usually the anger and irritation would build up until I lashed out, often at the wrong person (whoever broke the camel's back). Now however, I fuel anger into workout sessions which works like a charm (90 minutes of running makes you much, much too tired to be angry and hurt someone), plus with things like long-distance running you can actually put your mind in a meditative trance state which is very healthy. Also, you get hotter. yay.

For sadness (I'm assuming the longer-term kind, not momentary) -

This is really hard for me. My tendency is to 'logic' out of it - figure out what external stimuli are making things worse, and fix them, and figure out what external stimuli might make it better (watch a funny movie, talk to a friend about stupid things, whatever). in this case working out tends not to work because I have a depressive lack of energy AND the meditative state can be blocked by all the repeated negative thinking "i suck, no wonder I didn't get that fellowship, and that girl dumped me..." etc).

One thing which does help which I discovered recently is to make a puzzle or project for yourself. After my last big breakup I was devastated, and my friend drove me to Home Depot (my happy place) and I bought a bunch of stuff to make furniture. Weird? sure, but it's an intense hobby and requires a lot of mental distraction. That kind of stuff helps a lot.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,723
Most of the time I don't have any. But if happens that I get some I usually just take a walk to think thing through and that is pretty much it.


Btw I have never destroyed something out of anger.
 

Schaph

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Mar 15, 2010
Messages
43
MBTI Type
IxTx
Enneagram
5w6
hm... to be honest, I don't really remember. The last time I lashed out was 7 years ago when I picked a fight with my brother.

Against less extreme emotions, usually I just shut down the part of me that's feeling the negative emotion for a while, and come back later so smooth it out when I can look at it objectively.
 

goodgrief

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Joined
Apr 3, 2010
Messages
480
MBTI Type
INTJ
I go into recluse. It always doesn't work. Often I just feel worse. But I don't really have any better way.
 
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