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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by marquix View Post
    The commitment part seems to me like a weak way of saying "please don't look at anyone else except me, ok".
    That's an interesting interpretation. I always thought the technicality was "You can look, but don't touch." It signifies that you're focusing on getting to know someone without involving outside complications that multiple people bring into the picture.
    Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
    -Alice in Wonderland

  2. #82
    Member marquix's Avatar
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    Yeah, like living in a world outside of realities. Looking soon turns into, talk but don't touch. Laugh but don't touch, etc, etc....
    gee, imagine having to turn off your sensual responses to half of the human race so that someone can feel better about themselves. Forget it.

    I once told my INFJ, "If you think I'm shutting myself down to 50% of the human race then you are crazy !!"

  3. #83
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marquix View Post
    Out of curiosity, why would it matter to you that the "player" be very up front with all the "targets" he involves himself with. Shouldn't it be sufficient that he is sincere with you, IF you happen to corner him into even asking.

    And as for a guy that tells a girl that. Well he obviously is lacking tact. Why would he get into a philosophical conversation that alludes to his unbalanced moral conscience in regard to what he is doing in the first place?

    *snip*

    I believe the don't ask don't tell approach keeps things where they need to be at the beginning of a relationship. The complexities of past, present relationships would only serve to damage or confuse the relationship you are in the process of creating. It's a Catch 22 because who says you even want to go that far with the person you are just getting to know in an intimate way.
    It matters to me because I don't like to see people being hurt. A lot of guys know damn well that the women they are involving themselves with would like to have a long term relationship and they just string them along because the woman is vulnerable or naive and lets them do it. Just because you can get by with doing something doesn't mean it's a good thing to do. I find it highly distasteful. I guess I'm not of the 'buyer beware' mindset when it comes to human interactions.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #84
    Member marquix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    It matters to me because I don't like to see people being hurt. A lot of guys know damn well that the women they are involving themselves with would like to have a long term relationship and they just string them along because the woman is vulnerable or naive and lets them do it. Just because you can get by with doing something doesn't mean it's a good thing to do. I find it highly distasteful. I guess I'm not of the 'buyer beware' mindset when it comes to human interactions.
    Believe me, the guys want the long term relationships. They just don't care for the nagging, exclusivity rights, spying and sabotage. It's hard for a women to enter into this type of playing field so she is generally saying. Look, don't make it hard for me. "I understand your need for freedom but I'm not like you and want to be only with you..." So I essentially read between the lines and say without any words. Don't worry, you have me. But..... sort of need to share me when I'm away or not answering my phone.

  5. #85
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marquix View Post
    Believe me, the guys want the long term relationships. They just don't care for the nagging, exclusivity rights, spying and sabotage. It's hard for a women to enter into this type of playing field so she is generally saying. Look, don't make it hard for me. "I understand your need for freedom but I'm not like you and want to be only with you..." So I essentially read between the lines and say without any words. Don't worry, you have me. But..... sort of need to share me when I'm away or not answering my phone.
    Okay. I wasn't specific enough. The guy knows the woman wants an exclusive relationship and a commitment, but she won't ask for what she wants because she lacks confidence, etc. The guy takes advantage of her insecurity/naivety by just doing hat he wants without regard for her feelings. It's selfish and unkind, IMO.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #86
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marquix View Post
    Believe me, the guys want the long term relationships. They just don't care for the nagging, exclusivity rights...
    LOL, stop right there...classic. We are OK with the LTR just none of the responsibilities thereof such as monogamy...or at least our monogamy. It really makes sense if one thinks about it...as long as she doesn't catch something and pass it on.

    Seriously there are a lot of women who just want to have fun too. All of this 'I thought a relationship would just naturally develop' despite the expectation management disclaimer is simply just ASD.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  7. #87
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    How many girls can an INTP juggle at once?
    Depends on how heavy the girls are...

  8. #88
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Depends on how heavy the girls are...
    Yeah the heavier they are the less likely we will juggle them.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  9. #89
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Yeah the heavier they are the less likely we will juggle them.
    We're pretty good at juggling babies. Five, six, seven, eight!
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #90
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    Juggling many lovers long term seems mighty ambitious for any INP. I mean it's just a lot of work. Do many INP really enjoy working that hard?

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