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  1. #111
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Most are lucky to have one to juggle in the first place.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  2. #112
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marquix View Post
    The man is also putting his heart out there. One thing I have noticed is that I'm not really the "have sex" guy. I have to make love in order to have any staying power and make it worthwhile, enjoyable and something I can allow to grow. I've told my mates this. That I'm not into having "sex" per se and need to make love.

    So the issue is this. How can I be selfish and unkind if I am also putting my feelings out there in this manner?

    If in the heat moments I assure myself that I want this person in my life forever that maybe the case. Until something happens that makes me feel the contrary. Why should I have to keep an emotion that fades away just because? If I fall in love and feel the same with another person then maybe I just have a big heart and the capacity to love endlessly. I don't know, but I can tell you that I care about them dearly and on the contrary, feel very much like they are the selfish ones, especially when they seem like all they want is to possess me and feel like they have rights to decide what I do with my life when all the while I do not boss them around with theirs.
    The problem from my perspective is not that the women you are seeing want an exclusive relationship, nor that you want open relationships.

    The problem is having an open relationship with someone that wants an exclusive relationship. If that is what you want, and you truly care about the women you involve yourself with, it seems to me that instead of seeing women who want exclusive relationships (and maybe a commitment and to eventually settle down together, I'm guessing) you would involve yourself with women who want open relationships.

    There are women out there for whom the arrangement you are describing would be ideal, for instance if they are focused on their career and they don't have a lot of time to invest in a relationship or they already have the life they want well-established and a partner does not fit into that life.

    Why not pursue women like that instead of women to whom you don't have the ability or the desire to provide the kind of relationship they want?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #113
    Member marquix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander29 View Post
    So, I'm reading all of this crap and I'm wondering a few things.

    Is this person real or is this just a lot of BS?

    If this is actually real, is this a person who was hurt and taking it out on others or unsuccessful with women when he was younger and trying to make it up now by proving how desirable he is?

    :rolli:
    Yup I'm real. Actually not really surprised someone would say that.

    Of course I've been hurt. These relationships hurt but also renew and teach you about love and how sometimes the ones that want more need that much more to learn in order to wisk you away. I wasn't really unsuccesful with women being that at 15 yrs. I purchased my first car and picked up girls fairly easily. I'm not really that shallow as in wanting to prove something now because who would I really want to prove it to. I do however see other women that I wouldn't mind getting to know but they are generally either married or hard to get to since my recent laid back lifestyle moved me into another category for now. I look about 27 or so when I'm really 35 and that makes it sort of difficult because now I'm attracted to older women on the long or short term and smart younger ones for the adventure that could turn into the real one.

    Older women all of sudden tend to be pretty tiring though so I'm understanding that I may need to delve a little more into younger ages. I'm in Mexico though so you also need to understand that we have lots and lots of women here that are very traditional while the modern ones may already be tired of their boring husbands. I also like to understand that most of the world is embarking on a new sexual revolution due to the major changes in the economy. Sort of the same cycle we had back in the days. Do I want to miss out on this when divorce rates are skyrocketing and my chances of meeting the best of the best are finally dropping the baggage and renewing themselves, hell no. I'm on a renewal path myself with exercises and healthy eating as a priority in life with work last on the list. I'm real and simply getting warmed up.

  4. #114
    Member marquix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    The problem from my perspective is not that the women you are seeing want an exclusive relationship, nor that you want open relationships.

    The problem is having an open relationship with someone that wants an exclusive relationship. If that is what you want, and you truly care about the women you involve yourself with, it seems to me that instead of seeing women who want exclusive relationships (and maybe a commitment and to eventually settle down together, I'm guessing) you would involve yourself with women who want open relationships.

    There are women out there for whom the arrangement you are describing would be ideal, for instance if they are focused on their career and they don't have a lot of time to invest in a relationship or they already have the life they want well-established and a partner does not fit into that life.

    Why not pursue women like that instead of women to whom you don't have the ability or the desire to provide the kind of relationship they want?
    Well because that is how it all started (:

    They said or implied that they didn't care for boyfriend/girlfriend stuff... marriage and the like. But things evolve you know. Think about. Do women really get into a relationship that does not have the possibilities to evolve into something more, later on down the road?

    And it's not like I do not think the same. I actually wouldn't mind having this or that relationship last forever. Things can generally be pretty good when we keep the pressure on the pedal and cruise along. It's when relationships grow stale that adding spice to your life awakens everyone in the kitchen!

  5. #115
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Any other type besides INTP seems more likely for you now.

    What is it about ENFJ that doesn't match you better than INTP? Or ISFP even? For example.

  6. #116
    Senior Member ZPowers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marquix View Post
    I agree. It surely beats being at home alone without surprise visits and all the excitement !
    Beats being alone? Enjoy surprise visits? Need for excitement? And INTP?
    Does he want a pillow for his head?

  7. #117
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    My vote is ExxP

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  8. #118
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marquix View Post
    Well because that is how it all started (:

    They said or implied that they didn't care for boyfriend/girlfriend stuff... marriage and the like. But things evolve you know. Think about. Do women really get into a relationship that does not have the possibilities to evolve into something more, later on down the road?

    And it's not like I do not think the same. I actually wouldn't mind having this or that relationship last forever. Things can generally be pretty good when we keep the pressure on the pedal and cruise along. It's when relationships grow stale that adding spice to your life awakens everyone in the kitchen!
    I don't know if women really get into relationships that have no possibility to evolve into something more down the road. It seems like a possibility. I think you could probably find some of them at INTP central.

    I guess it's difficult to understand how, when a woman's expectations do change and she wants more, that you can just cruise along knowing you have no intentions of ever meeting those expectations, knowing that she is unhappy and wasting time in, what from her perspective is, a dead-end relationship. How can you be happy knowing that you are making a loved one unhappy for your own benefit? I could see if there were children or property or even politics involved. But the only thing truly at stake are emotions and pleasure and your good feelings are coming, for all intents and purposes, at her expense. So why would you not move on?

    You want to make this about the woman wanting something that you find unreasonable, but it's not unreasonable and if it was, it wouldn't matter. You want what you want, you know? You want an open relationship. The woman no longer wants an open relationship. Why does what you want trump what she wants? If you can't give her what she wants then why continue?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #119
    Member marquix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I don't know if women really get into relationships that have no possibility to evolve into something more down the road. It seems like a possibility. I think you could probably find some of them at INTP central.

    I guess it's difficult to understand how, when a woman's expectations do change and she wants more, that you can just cruise along knowing you have no intentions of ever meeting those expectations, knowing that she is unhappy and wasting time in, what from her perspective is, a dead-end relationship. How can you be happy knowing that you are making a loved one unhappy for your own benefit? I could see if there were children or property or even politics involved. But the only thing truly at stake are emotions and pleasure and your good feelings are coming, for all intents and purposes, at her expense. So why would you not move on?

    You want to make this about the woman wanting something that you find unreasonable, but it's not unreasonable and if it was, it wouldn't matter. You want what you want, you know? You want an open relationship. The woman no longer wants an open relationship. Why does what you want trump what she wants? If you can't give her what she wants then why continue?
    You're correct. The fact of the matter is that it becomes very hard to give up something you love. And even when you do, sometimes you want back what you had and feel great that the person is still there to love you again all over again.

  10. #120
    Senior Member milkyway2's Avatar
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    The guy I knew to juggle many girls at a time was an ENFP.

    For me... if there is more than one guy in my life at a time I'm romantically involved with... I am wayyyy too emotionally stressed out. I can't handle it. I need emotional stability in my life.

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