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  1. #11
    Pumpernickel
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    Didnt you say he spent his VACATION with you, then when work started again he ignored you? He could easily just have gotten caught up with stuff at work. Also, if he's enneagram 8 then he could have been overwhelmed by the strong emotions he felt with you and taken some space to gain control again by diving into work.

    If I were you I wouldnt ask him why he disapeared (I'd personally find that annoying if I was him), I would just prevent it from happening again somehow. Maybe just go with it for now, and then develop some sort of loose schedule or something

  2. #12
    Pumpernickel
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    Why would you consider a relationship with someone who thinks so little of you?

    Tell him he pissed you off and why.
    Tell him he doesn't miss your "friendship" and you have a pretty good idea of what he wants.
    Tell him he is spineless and manipulative
    Then go buh-bye.
    Uhh, are you projecting something here?

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustHer View Post
    Didnt you say he spent his VACATION with you, then when work started again he ignored you? He could easily just have gotten caught up with stuff at work. Also, if he's enneagram 8 then he could have been overwhelmed by the strong emotions he felt with you and taken some space to gain control again by diving into work.

    If I were you I wouldnt ask him why he disapeared (I'd personally find that annoying if I was him), I would just prevent it from happening again somehow. Maybe just go with it for now, and then develop some sort of loose schedule or something
    Yes, it was on his VACATION.

    Some of you truly feel no need to explain that you need to disappear for months? Honestly, I find that inconsiderate, especially since I asked him about it and he didn't bother responding.

    I'm actually leaning more towards not asking why he disappeared, so that I can learn more about the situation indirectly. I'm not sure how to prevent this from happening in the future though.

  4. #14
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    How long did the "interruption" last? More than one week? If it's been more than two weeks, then it's not something that can be justified. You don't just forget about a person you're in love with because you have to work, LOL.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    How long did the "interruption" last? More than one week? If it's been more than two weeks, then it's not something that can be justified. You don't just forget about a person you're in love with because you have to work, LOL.
    Three months.

  6. #16
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    Also, I would like to point out that I've been very direct with him, just the way you guys like it. Being direct hasn't really worked.

  7. #17
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Well, that sounds like something to be pissed off about. So, uhm, I suggest you just forget about him.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #18
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    Is there a reason why you don't talk of any positive qualities of his?

    If they don't even come to your mind as you're thinking about this conversation, then, well, you're probably better off without him.

    This seems like a lot of crap to take from someone for very little gain.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Eyebrows View Post
    Is there a reason why you don't talk of any positive qualities of his?

    If they don't even come to your mind as you're thinking about this conversation, then, well, you're probably better off without him.

    This seems like a lot of crap to take from someone for very little gain.
    You might be reading too much into my post.

    He has many, many positive qualities. I am posting about a problem to be understood, and only want to give relevant details.

  10. #20
    Pumpernickel
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    Quote Originally Posted by letmehugyou View Post
    Yes, it was on his VACATION.

    Some of you truly feel no need to explain that you need to disappear for months? Honestly, I find that inconsiderate, especially since I asked him about it and he didn't bother responding.
    Well if I hadn't flat out made any sort of commitment to a person then I would feel that it was unnecessary to explain anything. It would be sort of like coming up to a professor who doesnt know you from a large class you have and saying "I won't be in class tomorrow".... they would just look at you and think "So..?".

    The fact that it was 3 months is what throws me off though, that is awfully excessive, but it could have really just been some isolated incident that he doesn't feel comfortable talking about (some sort of personal crisis or work crisis)? Just let him know what your expectations are from now on, I guess, and uite bluntly too. You cant expect us to understand a lot of the things you NFs understand about people interactions!

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