[INTP] need help with a girl (I'm INTP)

[think2much]

to make it short this is what happend
-no luck with ladies
-gave up and focus on goals


I can't believe I met someone but I did! she's not in my classes. It was a random conversation. I could tell she liked me so I said "we should hang out this weekend or whenever you're free". She gave me her number.

I have confidence but I don't like to flirt. She said txt me but I don't know what to txt. I wouldn't know what to do if we do "hang out". to be honest I'm a boring guy. I like to be alone almost all the time and I don't talk a lot.

I know this isn't a dating site but I can get more help by getting advice from INTP or someone who knows what kind of person I am.

What should I say to her?

 

[gigi_xo]

how old are you for some back ground info?

and I'm sure you're not boring. you must have interests

you should text her saying something confident and inviting

 

[Salomé]

What should I say to her?

What did you talk about when you met her?

 

[1487610420]

to make it short this is what happend
-no luck with ladies
-gave up and focus on goals


I can't believe I met someone but I did! she's not in my classes. It was a random conversation. I could tell she liked me so I said "we should hang out this weekend or whenever you're free". She gave me her number.

I have confidence but I don't like to flirt. She said txt me but I don't know what to txt. I wouldn't know what to do if we do "hang out". to be honest I'm a boring guy. I like to be alone almost all the time and I don't talk a lot.

I know this isn't a dating site but I can get more help by getting advice from INTP or someone who knows what kind of person I am.

What should I say to her?

Do not plan what to txt her. Rid yourself of expectations. That includes sex. And marriage and kids.

If there is something that this girl has that captivates you, look inside yourself to find out what it is, and then base your actions and thoughts on it. If at this point you've already found yourself in a "wrong" state of mind/starting point, there isn't any advice you need which you don't already know. But it's up to you to cleanse it and go back to step one.

Even when one manages to do any or all of the above, there is no guarantee the other side has. Fun isn't it? Welcome to life.

 

[Moiety]

^Solid advise

 

[think2much]

What did you talk about when you met her?

school, things like her major, what classes she's taking. it was small talk

Do not plan what to txt her. Rid yourself of expectations. That includes sex. And marriage and kids.

If there is something that this girl has that captivates you, look inside yourself to find out what it is, and then base your actions and thoughts on it. If at this point you've already found yourself in a "wrong" state of mind/starting point, there isn't any advice you need which you don't already know. But it's up to you to cleanse it and go back to step one.

Even when one manages to do any or all of the above, there is no guarantee the other side has. Fun isn't it? Welcome to life.

I think it's good idea to be creative and say stuff that'll make her want me. I'm simply asking for help cause I don't know how to be "playful".

I'm interested in this girl cause she's pretty and actully likes me. She seem to be happy that I was talking to her. But than she doesn't know me well enough to find out that I'm just a boring guy. My main reason I asked her out was cause she was interested in me which is something that rarely happends in my life.

Should I post these on other thread? People know my situation on other thread.

 

[Moiety]

I'm interested in this girl cause she's pretty and actully likes me.

Congrats you've just figured it all out. You're good to go.

 

[Salomé]

school, things like her major, what classes she's taking. it was small talk

So just do more of that.
And stop telling yourself you're boring. Everyone is boring, and no one is.

 

[JocktheMotie]

I know this isn't a dating site but I can get more help by getting advice from INTP or someone who knows what kind of person I am.

What should I say to her?

It's not? Seems like it at times

Well anyways, I'd find some way to continue the conversation you were having. That, or send her random stuff that pops into your head that you think is funny if she seemed to dig your humor.

 

[Bamboo]

In life you have to look for win-win situations.

I found one for you:

Problems:
- you are boring (or, you live a boring life)
- you don't know what to do with this girl

SO
(drumroll)

Find something interesting to do, and do it with her.

You're in college or something right? Surely there is some campus paper with an events section?

 

[think2much]

oh god, I txted her and the conversation is already lame........ I'm not being playful and making her laugh. It's just a regular conversation.

me"hey what's up"
her"who's this"
me"it's myname from school"
her"myname!!!"
2minutes later
her"are you gonna be at redsquare(she's talking about campus btw) tomorrow"
me"nope, are you"
her"yea"
me"how long are you staying"
her"I dunno"

someone save me....

 

[think2much]

In life you have to look for win-win situations.

I found one for you:

Problems:
- you are boring (or, you live a boring life)
- you don't know what to do with this girl

SO
(drumroll)

Find something interesting to do, and do it with her.

You're in college or something right? Surely there is some campus paper with an events section?

interesting like what? I already said before I like to be alone most of time and I'm very quite so it would be awkward for her to hang out with me. I knew we had to something "together" but I don't know what activity and I never went on a date before so spend my whole with a girl sound like a nightmare for me. Not to mention she won't have good time since I don't make jokes. I'm one of those guys who's serious all the time.

EDIT: if I txt at night will she think I want to hook up with her rather than have relationship?

 

[Lady_X]

oh god, I txted her and the conversation is already lame........ I'm not being playful and making her laugh. It's just a regular conversation.

me"hey what's up"
her"who's this"
me"it's myname from school"
her"myname!!!"
2minutes later
her"are you gonna be at redsquare(she's talking about campus btw) tomorrow"
me"nope, are you"
her"yea"
me"how long are you staying"
her"I dunno"

someone save me....

umm...how bout say no but i could come up if ya wanna do somethin!

 

[Lady_X]

interesting like what? I already said before I like to be alone most of time and I'm very quite so it would be awkward for her to hang out with me. I knew we had to something "together" but I don't know what activity and I never went on a date before so spend my whole with a girl sound like a nightmare for me. Not to mention she won't have good time since I don't make jokes. I'm one of those guys who's serious all the time.

EDIT: if I txt at night will she think I want to hook up with her rather than have relationship?

i do not even understand why you would ask that...but i'm thinkin no.

 

[think2much]

umm...how bout say no but i could come up if ya wanna do somethin!

what do you got?

 

[Lady_X]

what do you got?

huh? like what should you do?

 

[ayoitsStepho]

Is there anything you'd like to know about her? Ask her then. I've learned that if you just ask questions and let the other person talk, things will actually get going.

 

[think2much]

Is there anything you'd like to know about her? Ask her then. I've learned that if you just ask questions and let the other person talk, things will actually get going.

I dont' want to annoy her with 1000random questions.

 

[Intricate Mystic]

I dont' want to annoy her with 1000random questions.

You could ask her out to dinner for a night later in the week. With all the hooking-up crap that goes on this days, she might be really glad to find a nice guy who would actually take her out to dinner!

 

[cafe]

Invite her to get coffee or a soda someplace on/near campus, someplace you can walk to together is best.

Ask her about herself, not twenty questions, but maybe 2-5 questions. Try not to go into lecture mode if she hits on a subject you're interested in. Don't be afraid to joke, even if your jokes are a little silly. One of the most winning things about INTPs is their goofy side.

Don't forget to think about whether or not you like her as you get to know her. Plenty of gals like INTPs, so you don't have to just settle and be passively pulled along.