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  1. #41
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    ahhh some of the feedback doesn't help with this situation.

    I want to meet up with her. Should I ask this via txt? what are the things I can do with her?

    Last thing I want is to be in the "friend zone", so far from what I'm seeing she's attracted to me and I want to keep it that way. When we hang out should I go for the kiss? or what other ways can she get a hint that I want her more than a friend?

  2. #42
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I dont' want to annoy her with 1000random questions.
    Ask her what her passion is. It's a guaranteed hit to get her talking about something she likes, it also shows your interested, and it's a pretty alpha male question.

    Then no matter what answer she gives, ask her what she likes about it, more talking from her side, more non-talking from your side. It's perfect.

    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    refreshe123d I noticed you mentioned you read some material on helping you with this, if its that PUA stuff then that gigs probably not for you, its very geared towards S types attracting other S types, not that there's anything wrong with the sensor type conversation but the reason you might be boring people is you are going after the wrong type of people
    Actually I got the idea I mentioned above from a documentary about an English PUA. It's a simple question which shows interest, tells you something about her and gives you the opportunity to loose yourself in her eyes for a bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Posts 57 and 58 don't sound like somebody I'd want a girlfriend getting involved with. Introversion doesn't put me off, wanting to know how to act nice enough to get hook-up and not having any friends, male or female makes me think there are other areas that need developing first.
    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I am aware that they can be quite lovely on the inside because I fell in love with a 20 year old INTP once upon a time. He was lovely. He is even more lovely now. Mine would have never just used a girl for sex because it was inconvenient to have a relationship.

    This guy does not sound so lovely to me.
    Hah, since after the late 60s no guy ever started talking to a girl because he wanted a relationship with her. Neurotransmitters and hormones work the other way around. First there's the sexual attraction and then there's the relationship and loyalty. Abstinence is not natural.
    (removed)

  3. #43
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy View Post
    Hah, since after the late 60s no guy ever started talking to a girl because he wanted a relationship with her. Neurotransmitters and hormones work the other way around. First there's the sexual attraction and then there's the relationship and loyalty. Abstinence is not natural.
    Was there some kind of evolutionary drop-off in the sixties?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #44
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    ^LOL!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #45
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Just a side note on the boring thing, I skimmed most of the responses. I had a friend who was determined they were boring. I talked to him in yahoo all the time and I thought he was really interesting. He was so determined he was boring he put it up as his yahoo avatar. Srsly? You are boring to YOU, not to someone who likes to talk to you. What's boring is hearing someone complain about being boring.

    /soapbox

  6. #46
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Was there some kind of evolutionary drop-off in the sixties?
    Well, from that point onwards everybody just started shagging everybody else. Before that period people seemed to be more sexually conservative...

    On the other hand, the fin de sicle wasn't that puritan either.
    (removed)

  7. #47
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimmy View Post
    Well, from that point onwards everybody just started shagging everybody else. Before that period people seemed to be more sexually conservative...

    On the other hand, the fin de sicle wasn't that puritan either.
    I think 'everybody' might be a slight exaggeration and I don't think it's that unusual for people, even now, to be thinking in terms of a potential relationship in addition to assessing physical attraction.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #48
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Well, I never said guys wouldn't think about relationships. I just said that all people usually don't think about having a relationship with someone before they start dating and are attracted to each other.
    (removed)

  9. #49
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    ahhh some of the feedback doesn't help with this situation.

    I want to meet up with her. Should I ask this via txt? what are the things I can do with her?

    Last thing I want is to be in the "friend zone", so far from what I'm seeing she's attracted to me and I want to keep it that way. When we hang out should I go for the kiss? or what other ways can she get a hint that I want her more than a friend?
    ?

  10. #50
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I have confidence but I don't like to flirt. She said txt me but I don't know what to txt. I wouldn't know what to do if we do "hang out". to be honest I'm a boring guy. I like to be alone almost all the time and I don't talk a lot.

    I know this isn't a dating site but I can get more help by getting advice from INTP or someone who knows what kind of person I am.

    What should I say to her?
    Well text her and ask what time would be good for her to hang out. Suggest a movie or something... either in the theater or at her house. That's something to talk about right there, what kind of movies and media that she likes. Talk about things with her... small talk is how people establish trust with each other.

    And trust me, you'll find something to do when you hang out. Even if it's just talking. You seem to have really high standards for yourself and being "boring," you want to impress her. She probably has similar thoughts.

    I agree with people when they say ask questions about her. People like getting attention generally from people that they like; so ask away!

    And tell her that you think she's cute. If the context is just right. That would be the perfect way to not get friend zoned; she showed interest in you so you should show some interest in her. Also if you do end up sitting on the couch or something try putting your arm on her shoulder when saying something; or if you watch a movie put your arm around her. People who get touched in any way are more likely to think about what happened when they got touched. Just do what feels right to do in the moment. If things feel right, go for a kiss.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

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