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[INTJ] Why do a lot of people seem to have lots of negative views about INTJs?

bai_lin83

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Nov 30, 2007
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I noticed that the mere mention of the word INTJ makes other people say, "Oh!"... <silence> and then walk away.

What's with that? :huh:
 
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probably because they think you're stringing 4 random letters together as a made-up word and they don't want to learn the full extent of your insanity
 

JivinJeffJones

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probably because they think you're stringing 4 random letters together as a made-up word and they don't want to learn the extent of your insanity

Or it could be the way his eye twitches around his unblinking stare. :yes:
 
G

GirlAmerica

Guest
I have always had a problem with people mistaking me for being 'stuck up' when I was younger.....and now I am sure I am still found as unapproachable.

It could be my tendency to not be so politically correct and speak in pure and truthful language. I think politically correct has its place, but it is far more limited than it is used these days.
I enjoy who I enjoy...everyone else is just a distraction in my day.
That is just the truth. It doesnt mean I wont tend to the distractions with consideration and kindness. I just dont take the time to chit chat....it puts people off from what I can tell....
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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You should see what's going on over at the INTJ forum. It's a regular Donner party over there. :doh:



Interestingly enough there is even a thread about what a polite forum it is. There have been many stereotypes about INTJs in other contexts which always seemed a little suspect to me. I find INTJs to be efficient in avoiding unnecessary conflicts, but still communicating directly and without additional layers of social decorum.
 

substitute

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I haven't known many INTJ's, but I work closely with one, and though I personally have no problem with him I think that's only because I'm a brash little SOB and tend to pay little heed to things other people consider warnings/alerts, and tend to bowl in anyway trusting in my blagging skills to negotiate any trouble. And that's what I have to do with my INTJ quite often.

So here I'm only talking about him, but obviously since he is very INTJ, there may be things that carry across to others of his type. IOW I'm not generalizing!!!

He can be very frosty - even when he doesn't mean to be. Because he's quite minimal with his words and even more so with his emotions, he doesn't give anyone any reason to think that he likes them or respects them. True, he doesn't give them concrete reason to believe he doesn't, but people generally tend to be a little insecure and so if in doubt, will assume the worst (that's where I'm different). If somebody comes to talk to him, to say good morning, just trying to be friendly, he tends to sorta look at them while they talk and not say anything, with a pretty inscrutable face, so for all they know he could be thinking "Will this insufferable moron ever shut up?" - he probably isn't (though sometimes he probably is!), but that's how people take it. He gives a minimal reply most of the time and seems to want to get back to work, so people feel rebuffed/dismissed, and because rejection hurts, people don't tend to try again.

I'm just a pain in the ass and I keep needling him until I get a rise (like Q with Picard!), but most other people are kinda scared of him, not finding tempers as amusing as I do. I can usually make him laugh but it's often despite himself.

Also, he's quite inflexible in his views. He believes he's always right and knows everything; that there's nothing of interest that anyone else can tell him. That's a slight exaggeration, but not much of one. And the way he behaves and speaks to other people gives the impression of that attitude being much stronger than it is. Sometimes somebody says something to him and he makes a sorta surprised look, as if to say "I didn't think you had it in you", which can be quite insulting, though he means the opposite. IOW he's telling them he thinks they're a moron and is surprised to hear them say something intelligent.

Quite often someone might approach him with some P type Perceptions, pointing things out he's missed, but he doesn't tend to listen a lot of the time unless you're willing to really push it through his anger barrier (which I do) - most people aren't as comfortable with argument/anger as sport as I am, so they leave him in his errors for a quiet life.

Basically to the average person, he makes them feel like they're just in the way, of little value or interest to him, and gives little for people to respond to. So that's why people avoid him - they don't like being made to feel worthless and stupid.

That said, he has many fine and lovable qualities too, which is why I keep him on and enjoy his company. But you wanted to know the things that put people off about INTJ's, so I focused on those sides of him.
 

Athenian200

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Well, because they can be "amusingly blunt," in my opinion. I sort of want to laugh and express shock at the same time, because I know what they meant, but they really butchered it and laid it out there rather directly, when I would have tried to be more subtle, or not even mentioned it. Some times it can also be really saddening, to watch them repeated get misunderstood as they try to make their point, making critical comments to hide how hurt and confused they probably are (on some level) by the other person's reactions. :(

Other people really don't get it, and some of their reactions to INTJ's are scary. I mean, it's weird, because I know why the other person took it that way, but I also know that isn't what the INTJ really meant... so confusing. What seems obvious to me that they were blunt about, seems like insanity or stubbornness to everyone else.

I'd say I feel sorry for the INTJ's who get misunderstood like this, but I'm not sure they would be willing to accept my pity gracefully.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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Part frustration with the way they cling to their philosophies, part jealousy because they're so fucking focused and capable.
 

Xander

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+1 Subs.

INTJs tend to have the coldest disconnection sometimes. Like the room just froze over. I hate that. It's so difficult to pull yourself back and not try to find out what happened (which only seems to make things worse).
 

cafe

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One thing I've noticed that my daughter does is that she treats people that are not her family/friends/teachers sort of like flies she can't be bothered to swat.

She is a for-real salt of the earth person in that she's honest, responsible, benevolent, etc, but she does not suffer fools gladly so not everyone gets to see how great she is.

In middle school, she had a reputation for not responding at all when people she didn't like (and I don't mean that she necessarily disliked them, either) spoke to her. She might look at them for a second to identify them, but that's all.

People don't always know how to take that kind of thing. I think it's pretty hilarious, though.
 

Kiddo

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INTJs think like dams. They build up all this knowledge behind a wall of what they believe is logic and objective insight, but they can't allow any doubt to creep in, otherwise little cracks would form and it could all come crashing through. They tend to be annoying because they only collect or believe information that supports the way they see the world.

For example, here is a simplified INTJ conversation....

INTJ: The number of car accidents in this state has gone up this year and I blame drunk driving.
INFJ: Ok, but there isn't any evidence to show that there are more drunk driving related accidents in the state so there could be other causes.
INTJ: Drunk driving is responsible for most accidents in this country.
INFJ: Ok, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the upward trend in this case is due to more drunk driving.
INTJ: Are you saying that there wouldn't be fewer accidents if there were fewer drunk drivers?
INFJ: That is beside the point, you are suggesting that there are more accidents in this state because of drunk driving, despite not having any evidence that there are more drunk driving related accidents.
INTJ: Last year, 76% of accidents were caused by drunk drivers in this state. I would say that is evidence this state has a drunk driving problem.
INFJ: Yes, the state has a problem, but that doesn't mean that the recent rise in accidents were due to drunk drivers.

Do you see the pattern? The INFJ keeps suggesting something is wrong with the INTJ's argument. But the INTJ, rather than address the flaw in his thinking, continues to build an argument for why he believes drunk driving is responsible for the rise in accidents. This is typically the pattern of most conversations I have had with INTJs.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

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My INTJ friends are not generally rude.. and they don't seem to enjoy it when they are. They don't like cursing or hurting people intentionally. So anything rude they say will feel less hurting.

Only time I've been hurt by their behavior is when my INTJ friend decided to practically draw away from our friendship one time. He "didn't find any use for our meetings" as he said of our group of mutual friends. After few months of evading, I pressed more to ask what's the matter.. and he explained he has family (brothers, sisters, father), and it's enough to meet them, so he doesn't need any more socializing than that.

It was like that for about a year, after which he started to want to see people more. Anyways, a good friend. Still, their coolness doesn't serve every occasion well.

They have noticeably good intentions in almost any situation I've seen.. their ability to think, listen and to analyze a bit comes very handy when something needs to be understood.
 

Mycroft

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Y'all seem to know some INTJs who lack a basic handle on critical argumentation.
 
O

Oberon

Guest
god, i miss my INTJ friend. conversations like that were the best.

however, my version would be more like:

INTJ: The number of car accidents in this state has gone up this year and I blame drunk driving.
ME: it's possible.
INTJ: no, it's more likely than not.
ME: that too is possible, but who knows for sure?
INTJ: i do
ME: oh, really now.

(IMing stops, and it's silently understood that the race is on to find proof. him searching to prove he's right, and me to prove he's wrong.)

*sigh*

good times.

That's funny.

My most fun discussions are with an INTP who's got his back up:

ME: The sky is blue.
INTP: No it's not.
ME: Yes it is. Look at it. It's blue.
INTP: What do you mean by sky? What do you mean by blue?
ME: Sky. You know, the air over our heads. Blue is a color. The air over our heads looks like the color blue, because the air refracts that color out of the sunlight.
INTP: No it doesn't. The sky isn't actually blue, and if it was that still wouldn't prove that you're right about why.
ME: Oh jeez. Get stuffed, willya?
INTP: [blinks] I don't see why you have to be so hostile. Show some maturity, okay?

These kinds of discussions... particularly over the internet... are why I mostly avoid arguments any more.
 

ps646566

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Oct 23, 2007
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INTJ's tends to be blunt and to the point -- there is nothing that many people like less than being confronted with the uncomfortable or inconvenient truth. INTJ's also tend to be results-oriented rather than people-oriented. They act mostly in the interests of the main objective/s, rather than embracing the 'flavour of the month' They tend to stick to their guns in the face of pressure. They are not interested in conforming to being a 'team player' when in their view the team is acting unwisely or dysfunctionally. They have little regard for so-called soft skills such as networking. They don't indulge in unfounded optimism or positive thinking when logic, reason, and past experience tells them otherwise. And they are more often than not proved right. All of these characteristics are something of an anathema in the modern world, especially in the working environment. This is why INTJ's are often treated with suspicion and disdain, even though many of the people treating them that way have never heard of INTJ.
 

Xander

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INTJ's tends to be blunt and to the point -- there is nothing that many people like less than being confronted with the uncomfortable or inconvenient truth.
Just to reverse this for a moment. It's been my experience with INTJs that they are neither blunt nor to the point. They only release what they feel comfortable in releasing, believing it to be a final solution and perfect, which seems to be why there is such a fuss made if you simply answer "no that's wrong". Also they are quite the opposite of being blunt, very rarely getting to any kind of serious point they are more akin to fencers, darting about and stabbing wildly.

In the deeper conversations I've had with my INTJ friend I've had to spend quite a lot of time and effort breaking down the glib repeated answers to try and get at what is beneath only to find that what lies beneath the "final solution" hasn't been investigated properly and is, too my mind, ill formed.

I admit that I am hardly unimpeachable in the regard of good foundation work but this is usually worse with hastily constructed reinforcement slapped in one what seem to be the places where criticism is levelled.

Oh and if you want blunt in our group you go and see the ENFJ.
 

Totenkindly

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Why do a lot of people seem to have lots of negative views about INTJs?

Because, try as hard as they might, they'll *never* be INTPs. :smile:

Interestingly enough there is even a thread about what a polite forum it is. There have been many stereotypes about INTJs in other contexts which always seemed a little suspect to me. I find INTJs to be efficient in avoiding unnecessary conflicts, but still communicating directly and without additional layers of social decorum.

Definitely. There is usually not much pussyfooting going on. I enjoy how direct and clean the communication often is.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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INTJs tend to have the coldest disconnection sometimes. Like the room just froze over. I hate that. It's so difficult to pull yourself back and not try to find out what happened (which only seems to make things worse).
That isn't really consistent with the order of functions. Of all the NTs they have the stronger placement of inner feeling and values:


INTP = Ti Ne Si Fe
ENTJ = Te Ni Se Fi
ENTP = Ne Ti Fe Si
INTJ = Ni Te Fi Se
 
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