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  1. #1
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    Default INTP emotional maturity and cheating

    I have always been a bit self-congratulatory on my seemingly developed Fe (for an INTP) - I've always gotten what I wanted in relationships and have only rarely been lonely and/or disconnected or had issues saying what I felt or being appropriately demonstrative when needed. I've also rarely been unhappy in relationships, even those that ended, and have never, not ONCE, had the desire to cheat on a partner.

    With that introduction, I just cheated (big-time emotional + physical over a few days on holiday) on my long-term INTJ partner with (I am fairly sure) another INTP.

    This was so out of the blue and unanticipated, and so very very damaging to my own feelings about my current relationship that I'm now thinking that my supposed self-confidence in my emotional abilities was all overconfidence and basically crap. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I thought that INTPs were supposed to be good at analysis, but it seems in this case I had a LOT of repressed shit going on that I really had no conscious knowledge of. Or at least that seems to be the case assuming that hardcore falling for someone you hardly know doesn't come out of nowhere.

    Right now I'm stuck in a bit of limbo about what to do but it's not a state that can last.

  2. #2
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    You fell into the trap of thinking you could anticipate everything life has in store for you. Enjoy your suffering. You will either grow or shrink from it.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #3
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    You fell into the trap of thinking you could anticipate everything life has in store for you. Enjoy your suffering. You will either grow or shrink from it.
    Interesting. I'm not really sure I can box this up as "shit happens"... I believe in consequences - of ignoring/suppressing feelings or actions, in this case.

  4. #4
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Sounds like you just had an opportunity. And being self-centered, you took it. Is that bad? Not necessarily. But, no need to dress it up as suppressing feelings unless you mean suppressing feelings of wanting to rampage some ass, which is all too human a feeling.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #5
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    I've "had opportunities" before - and didn't take them. It's not the sex that's the problem, but the rapidity of emotional transfer at issue. I won't argue with whether it's self-centered/bad or not, but to clarify: I'm now considering leaving my bf, when a week ago I had no problems with the idea of being together forever. I'm really just interested if other INTP-ish types have had the switch turned like that as well, or if there's any worry about temporary insanity here.

  6. #6
    Member fusetah's Avatar
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    How old(young) are you?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    I wish I had your problems. They sound a lot better than mine. I vote that you have your ovaries removed and make everyone a 'friend with benefits' - kill two birds with two stones; it's win-win for everyone.

  8. #8
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hilo View Post
    I've "had opportunities" before - and didn't take them. It's not the sex that's the problem, but the rapidity of emotional transfer at issue. I won't argue with whether it's self-centered/bad or not, but to clarify: I'm now considering leaving my bf, when a week ago I had no problems with the idea of being together forever. I'm really just interested if other INTP-ish types have had the switch turned like that as well, or if there's any worry about temporary insanity here.
    Have you talked to your boyfriend? He might make a decision for you. In fact, I'm sure he would.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #9
    Member fusetah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    I wish I had your problems. They sound a lot better than mine. I vote that you have your ovaries removed and make everyone a 'friend with benefits' - kill two birds with two stones; it's win-win for everyone.
    Jeez, what a way to introduce a junior-member to the forums. You are calling her a sl-t in her first thread start

  10. #10
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Sticks View Post
    I wish I had your problems. They sound a lot better than mine. I vote that you have your ovaries removed and make everyone a 'friend with benefits' - kill two birds with two stones; it's win-win for everyone.
    She said it wasn't the sex.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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