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[INTP] INTP emotional maturity and cheating

Weber

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A few more examples of how P's just can't keep their fingers off that proverbial forbidden fruit, and how NTP's will try to justify these actions. I wouldn't be surprised if they saw their own arms off (and apparently the arms of their partners [in their sleep, without telling them, of course]) "just to experience it and see what it feels like". Some of the more absurd rationalizations in this thread almost make you start considering relationships with SJ's instead.
 

Salomé

meh
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^Because absurd generalizations are much to be preferred over absurd rationalizations? ;)
The only way to get over not having cajones is to grow a pair, and that doesn't happen by screwing around behind your LTR's back.
Heh.
Right now, he's dealing with his shit at his girlfriend's expense. I had to deal with this sort of cowardice too in myself, so I don't feel like I'm being too harsh. Far too typical reticence in INTPs to be afraid to give up relational security and thus have their lives destabilized, so they just explore in secret to avoid losing control of the situation ...and while strategically it serves the needs of the INTP, it totally violates the trust of the other person.

EDIT: ... this should probably be in its own thread, but maybe we're seeing a need to have a thread for INTPs and cheating.
I think this is the danger with our inherently 'flexible' approach to morality. It's too easy to broaden your definition of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour based on new data about what you are capable of doing/wanting to do.
It's a trap, and how does one avoid falling into it without an external arbiter?
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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And the problem with an external arbiter is, of course, that you have to trust the opinion of the external arbiter... and INTPs are notorious for not respecting authority for authority's sake. If the reasoning ability of the arbiter is not respected (or if the INTP feels the arbiter does not "see the whole situation" i.e., is missing information), the perspective will be ignored instinctively...
 

Weber

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^Because absurd generalizations are much to be preferred over absurd rationalizations? ;)

Right, type means nothing and generalisations are useless. It's not like you're posting on a typology forum right now. I'm sure there are people who enjoy this "touching the hot stove" mentality; I don't. If some P's are mentally organized enough to only act like this in reasonable moderation it is despite their type, not because of it.
 

Tallulah

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Right, type means nothing and generalisations are useless. It's not like you're posting on a typology forum right now. I'm sure there are people who enjoy this "touching the hot stove" mentality; I don't. If some P's are mentally organized enough to only act like this in reasonable moderation it is despite their type, not because of it.

I don't know if you've noticed, but three of the people who are most appalled by the idea of a moving morality target as applicable to relationships are INTPs (Morgan, Jennifer and me). None of us are 19, either. Maybe you are thinking of immature NTPs. I, for the most part, have a hard time with immature NTPs myself.

There are plenty of Js that cheat. Maybe they cheat for different reasons. But they cheat.
 

Salomé

meh
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And the problem with an external arbiter is, of course, that you have to trust the opinion of the external arbiter... and INTPs are notorious for not respecting authority for authority's sake. If the reasoning ability of the arbiter is not respected (or if the INTP feels the arbiter does not "see the whole situation" i.e., is missing information), the perspective will be ignored instinctively...

One resolution to this problem is to slip behind the veil of ignorance.
With a capacity for detachment, this should be a fairly straightforward exercise. Of course, this is just a modified Golden Rule. But what happens when how you would want to be treated is not how someone else would want to be treated? (I want total honesty and fidelity, but perhaps someone else thinks "what I don't know won't hurt me").
This difference in perspective is encountered frequently enough for INTPs to allow themselves a massive loophole.
And we're back where we started...
 
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