[NT] Don't get women at all

[cafe]

I dunno. I've seen it, but I don't understand it in either gender. Sometimes I think people want to be treated good but don't believe they deserve to be treated good, so they lose respect for people that treat them good.

My default position is that everyone should be treated good on principle (unless they are harmful to society, etc) and I don't believe I'm an exception, so I'm with someone that treats me very well and I try to return the treatment in kind.

Are you meeting women in an environment that is target rich for unhealthy people?

 

[yenom]

he thinks women are attracted to the very thing that later repels them...he thinks we're contradictory confusing creatures...but...he's just seeing it wrong.

women has double standards. We all know that.

 

[FDG]

That's probably because you're not good looking-fit/don't have a good humor. I mean, I understand it sounds harsh, but usually these two qualities (with an OR logical qualifier as a necessary condition, AND logical qualifier as sufficient condition) are more than enough to warrant at least a decent success among the ladies.

 

[tcda]

That's probably because you're not good looking-fit/don't have a good humor. I mean, I understand it sounds harsh, but usually these two qualities (with an OR logical qualifier as a necessary condition, AND logical qualifier as sufficient condition) are more than enough to warrant at least a decent success among the ladies.

I'm good looking enough in a nerdy kind of way. You wouldn't realize the beautiful women that I have broken up with or blown it with due to misunderstanding. If I didn't get to that stage I wouldn't be making this thread would I?

The other points - I'll answer later...in a rush right now.

 

[entropie]

If you ate all the woman, you have ever been together with, are you then a person who cant stay in a relationship or a playboy, cause technically your relationship advanced to the most intimate level possible, if you get what I mean

 

[tcda]

If you ate

We say that in Spanish - comer - but never heard it English. I take it they say it German as well?

all the woman, you have ever been together with, are you then a person who cant stay in a relationship or a playboy, cause technically your relationship advanced to the most intimate level possible, if you get what I mean

I'm definitely no playboy, I haven't been with that any women, just, they were suprisingly beautiful the ones I was with.

Still in a rush - coming and going!

 

[entropie]

No I actually meant "to eat", I pride myself in being a gourmet.

But ignore myself I am just fooling around

 

[neptunesnet]

It's just a fact I'm afraid. I'm not a misogynist, rationally I believe in feminism. But with real life women, I just, don't get 'em.

I mean don't get me wrong, I know how to "pull" (as we say in Landan Town) etc. - I just find it pathetic the way that by acting in a way that I find annoying/transparent, I can "pull", whereas by acting in a way I find genuinely admirable, I wouldn't. So it's not that I don't know the rules, I just don't get them.

So a few questions:

1.) Why is it that women will pretend to want a nice guy etc., but really are fascinated by you if you are an asshole, and will harrass you to show a "human" side, but then, soon get bored once you have shown it (or at least, if you don't turn it off very quickly).

2.) Leading on from that, why be annoyed by arrogance when this is what attracted you in the first place, and when there were plenty of non-arrogant guys who like you, who you could go for, but don't.

3.) Why demand the hypocrisy that someone be "ambitious" or an "alpha male" in more general terms, but that they not be an asshole, when clearly, the two can't be seprated (by definition, climbing above other people, means taking advantage of situations for your benefit at their expense, i.e., being an asshole)? So why do we have to play some game of denying assholery while at the very same time taking a shit on everyone else?

Actually those 3 questions are probably all the same, but whatever.

You're chasing after the wrong girls. You're interested in the "hot & knows it & isn't going to settle for attention from only one guy" type, and frankly if the guy's only looking at this type [in most cases because he has limited ideas about "what's hot and what's not"] then it's his own fault he keeps falling into deep dating mudholes.

Try looking for girls who are actually interested in you as a person, because I guarantee the ones you're trying to pursue now are only looking at you as a conquest [probably in the same way you're looking at them].

Balance, balance, balance

I agree, but...

Man/Gentlemen:
[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaC2tS5B-LM"]"[/YOUTUBE]

That was actually asshole. Allen does this all the time. He takes a typical jerk out of his usual social context and places him in one where his boorish behavior is encouraged, and even glorified, by men and women alike, & those who object are old brutish bitter lesbo hags :rolli:. He tends to idealize that sort of thing, and it grates on my nerves.

 

[Totenkindly]

So a few questions:

1.) That's not necessarily a woman thing.

2.) Some people aren't self-aware enough to realize they are doing this and experienced enough to realize that every coin has two sides... that the strength AND weakness of an ambitious/assertive guy is that he is an ambitious/assertive guy, and that it's like of hard for a doer to be a responder at the same time and vice versa.

3.) I think it's a fallacy to think that "assertive/alpha" has to be equivalent to "asshole." Alpha's by nature aren't geared to be sensitive... but men who are mature have learned to use their power for others and not for themselves. It happens.

Maybe it's just the stage/age bracket you are operating in.
If so, I think your experience will improve over time.

 

[FDG]

That was actually asshole. Allen does this all the time. He takes a typical jerk out of his usual social context and places him in one where his boorish behavior is encouraged, and even glorified, by men and women alike, & those who object are old brutish bitter lesbo hags :rolli:. He tends to idealize that sort of thing, and it grates on my nerves.

Yeah, I agree. The only non-asshole part is that he's calmer than average.

 

[Moiety]

I mean don't get me wrong, I know how to "pull" (as we say in Landan Town) etc. - I just find it pathetic the way that by acting in a way that I find annoying/transparent, I can "pull", whereas by acting in a way I find genuinely admirable, I wouldn't. So it's not that I don't know the rules, I just don't get them.

What rules? You make your own rules. If you act in a way that you find genuinely admirable (you shouldn't "act" in the first place...just be yourself and try to be better everyday), you're more likely to attract women that are drawn to that.

Neediness, not wanting to be alone and all that, will only serve to justify foregoing your ideals and get stuck with women you don't like or that don't like you. So just be yourself, be comfortable being independent, and live your life. Good things come to those who wait.

 

[tcda]

What rules? You make your own rules. If you act in a way that you find genuinely admirable (you shouldn't "act" in the first place...just be yourself and try to be better everyday), you're more likely to attract women that are drawn to that.

Neediness, not wanting to be alone and all that, will only serve to justify foregoing your ideals and get stuck with women you don't like or that don't like you. So just be yourself, be comfortable being independent, and live your life. Good things come to those who wait.

This is true.

When I said rules I jsut meant rules of basic social interaction, of communication, etc., even when we might personally think "I can't be bothered". I didn't mean making up a whole persona - I wouldn't dot hat at all.

So I agree with you.

 

[tcda]

3.) I think it's a fallacy to think that "assertive/alpha" has to be equivalent to "asshole." Alpha's by nature aren't geared to be sensitive... but men who are mature have learned to use their power for others and not for themselves. It happens.

True. I need to be more specific in expressing myself. I was kind of going for "exaggeration for maximum clarity" but it just had the opposite effect.

But yes, you're right.

 

[Aleksei]

It's just a fact I'm afraid. I'm not a misogynist, rationally I believe in feminism. But with real life women, I just, don't get 'em.

I mean don't get me wrong, I know how to "pull" (as we say in Landan Town) etc. - I just find it pathetic the way that by acting in a way that I find annoying/transparent, I can "pull", whereas by acting in a way I find genuinely admirable, I wouldn't. So it's not that I don't know the rules, I just don't get them.

So a few questions:

1.) Why is it that women will pretend to want a nice guy etc., but really are fascinated by you if you are an asshole, and will harrass you to show a "human" side, but then, soon get bored once you have shown it (or at least, if you don't turn it off very quickly).

2.) Leading on from that, why be annoyed by arrogance when this is what attracted you in the first place, and when there were plenty of non-arrogant guys who like you, who you could go for, but don't.

3.) Why demand the hypocrisy that someone be "ambitious" or an "alpha male" in more general terms, but that they not be an asshole, when clearly, the two can't be seprated (by definition, climbing above other people, means taking advantage of situations for your benefit at their expense, i.e., being an asshole)? So why do we have to play some game of denying assholery while at the very same time taking a shit on everyone else?

Actually those 3 questions are probably all the same, but whatever.

You can't demand straightness from women, it's not in their programming. The fact is women are unpredictable because they are creatures of emotion. They act on impulse and whatever comes out of their mouth is them trying to rationally process how they feel -- which includes rationalizing away whatever feelings they come across that they're uncomfortable with. The bad thing about that is that you will never be able to level with them on logical terms (a nightmare for us intellectuals). The good thing about it is if you can understand their programming you can do whatever you want with them.

This doesn't apply to all women of course, but it applies to enough that it's a general rule.

 

[cafe]

You can't demand straightness from women, it's not in their programming. The fact is women are unpredictable because they are creatures of emotion. They act on impulse and whatever comes out of their mouth is them trying to rationally process how they feel -- which includes rationalizing away whatever feelings they come across that they're uncomfortable with. The bad thing about that is that you will never be able to level with them on logical terms (a nightmare for us intellectuals). The good thing about it is if you can understand their programming you can do whatever you want with them.

This doesn't apply to all women of course, but it applies to enough that it's a general rule.

Sleeping with the non-exceptions almost sounds like bestiality from your description.

 

[Aleksei]

Sleeping with the non-exceptions almost sounds like bestiality from your description.

scotsmen have sheeps. we have women

 

[Salomé]

Sleeping with the non-exceptions almost sounds like bestiality from your description.

Non-exceptions can't be too fussy.

 

[ObliviousExistence]

woman does not yield to reason. beep. woman does not compute. beep.

1.) Why is it that women will pretend to want a nice guy etc., but really are fascinated by you if you are an asshole, and will harrass you to show a "human" side, but then, soon get bored once you have shown it (or at least, if you don't turn it off very quickly).

because they want an asshole they can control, in other words, they want a power tool.

2.) Leading on from that, why be annoyed by arrogance when this is what attracted you in the first place, and when there were plenty of non-arrogant guys who like you, who you could go for, but don't.

because they like arrogance, they probably see it as a sign of bravado\masculinity or even self respect.

 

[ObliviousExistence]

<duplicate post>

 

[JocktheMotie]

We need a "why do girls like assholes" section of the forum already.

For realz.