[NT] Don't get women at all

[rainoneventide]

I dunno what women you've been around, but I'm definitely not into arrogant assholes. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance, humor and... assholeness, lol.

 

[Snuggletron]

1.) Why is it that women will pretend to want a nice guy etc., but really are fascinated by you if you are an asshole, and will harrass you to show a "human" side, but then, soon get bored once you have shown it (or at least, if you don't turn it off very quickly).

2.) Leading on from that, why be annoyed by arrogance when this is what attracted you in the first place, and when there were plenty of non-arrogant guys who like you, who you could go for, but don't.

3.) Why demand the hypocrisy that someone be "ambitious" or an "alpha male" in more general terms, but that they not be an asshole, when clearly, the two can't be seprated (by definition, climbing above other people, means taking advantage of situations for your benefit at their expense, i.e., being an asshole)? So why do we have to play some game of denying assholery while at the very same time taking a shit on everyone else?

Actually those 3 questions are probably all the same, but whatever.

I don't think it's totally unanimous but I believe the ideal answer to these is being nice and confident at the same time. Assholes tend to get in more because it's mistaken as confidence, which is preferred and valued over just being 'nice', because 'nice' means 'friend'.

 

[JustHer]

Women are overrated. It's okay.

 

[tcda]

totally! and no more flashing your cash and pulling up to the club in your hummer either... P Diddy is NOT your fashion role model!

Note- the girls who aren't expecting you to be an asshole are probably busy sitting with their friends and having fun NOT being a predator- check them out when they get up- you may be pleasantly surprized!

Yeah I was in a bad mood at the time and I didn't express myself in the best of ways, I think I might have given an exaggerated impression of my situation.

You raise a good point so I'll give a serious reply a bit later.

 

[Lady_X]

Women are overrated. It's okay.

i don't know who you've been hangin out with but....nuh uh

 

[Salomé]

@ thread: yeah, I guess what baffles me, is the demand for balance. Because it's not a consistent "balance" - that is considered boring - but rather, often, you are expected to show every range of attributes, at different moments, depending on applicability. Goddam, that's annoying.

We get bored easily.
Like now. You're boring us.

 

[tcda]

We get bored easily.
Like now. You're boring us.

Damn that reply is so INTPCentral.

 

[Laurie]

Girls will like only good guys when guys like only good girls. Deal?

 

[ceecee]

Girls will like only good guys when guys like only good girls. Deal?

 

[heart]

To the OP, what is it about you that keeps being attracted to women who like assholes? Why are you blind the other women who don't feel that way? It's in your selection process.

 

[Lady_X]

Girls will like only good guys when guys like only good girls. Deal?

haha yeah...or...how about you let all the assholes have each other and be comforted by the fact that there's someone for everyone...awww

 

[tcda]

Girls will like only good guys when guys like only good girls. Deal?

Ok but I'm not asking girls to like good guys...that wasn't the point of the thread. I'm not a "nice guy" myself.

The point of the thread was to say that women are complicated and baffle me, and ask for contradictory things.

This may be my own shortcomings and lack of emotional sensitivty. I never denied that.

However it is a fact that I don't understand women, and this thread expresses that. Why did I feel the need to express it? Who knwos, stress, probably.

 

[Laurie]

So do guys.

 

[tcda]

So do guys.

Didn't think I did, but maybe I do and just don't realize it, just like the women I am talking about don't consider their behaviour contradictory either.

My specific problem of understanding was the one expressed in the OP: which was not just "why do women like assholes". One which I don't think applies to men, for pretty obvious reasons I guess (social programming is different for men and women).

In any case though we're only going round in circles...I promised to express myself better when I was more rested, and I stick by that.

 

[tcda]

To the OP, what is it about you that keeps being attracted to women who like assholes?

This makes me think that maybe I really don't express myself well, at all. I was never complainging "Why do women go for assholes?"...! This was never at all the point of my post!

OOOOOOOOOKKKKK

When I say "asshole", I don't mean Stiffler.

For example: I come across quite cold and self-assured. Certain kinds of owmen find this attractive. But then, they want you to be somethign else too. But then, if you were to become something else, they'd no longer be interested, for example.

This is just one example. Please can I clarify then: When I say "asshole" I do not mean high school bully, and when I say "women who like assholes", I don't mean a cheerleader who dates the quarter back.

Rather I am exaggerating personality traits in order to portray things. "Simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise" as Eminem said.

 

[Litvyak]

So do guys.

Well, no. Contradictions are the specialty of women.
A lot can be said about men, but it's true that women are way more ambiguous.
Guys are usually easier to figure out.

 

[Lady_X]

This makes me think that maybe I really don't express myself well, at all. I was never complainging "Why do women go for assholes?"...! This was never at all the point of my post!

OOOOOOOOOKKKKK

When I say "asshole", I don't mean Stiffler.

For example: I come across quite cold and self-assured. Certain kinds of owmen find this attractive. But then, they want you to be somethign else too. But then, if you were to become something else, they'd no longer be interested, for example.

This is just one example. Please can I clarify then: When I say "asshole" I do not mean high school bully, and when I say "women who like assholes", I don't mean a cheerleader who dates the quarter back.

Rather I am exaggerating personality traits in order to portray things. "Simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise" as Eminem said.

hey that makes sense...totally get that and i'll tell ya why...because on first glance a woman sees a guy who's not fawning all over her...must have his own shit going on...seems confident...not easily intimidated...intriguing...what does he have going on? why is he so confident? who's in there and what is he all about? so...they want to find out...when they do...they'll either be turned off because that self assuredness was actually just coldness wrapped up in an superiority complex...or...they'll see that there isn't much there at all...or at least anything they can relate to and become bored...or...they like you...you like her...and you spend your days at home depot for the next 20 or so years.

 

[tcda]

hey that makes sense...totally get that and i'll tell ya why...because on first glance a woman sees a guy who's not fawning all over her...must have his own shit going on...seems confident...not easily intimidated...intriguing...what does he have going on? why is he so confident? who's in there and what is he all about? so...they want to find out...when they do...they'll either be turned off because that self assuredness was actually just coldness wrapped up in an superiority complex...or...they'll see that there isn't much there at all...or at least anything they can relate to and become bored...or...they like you...you like her...and you spend your days at home depot for the next 20 or so years.

So where do I find a woman who likes coldness wrapped up in a superiority complex?

Joking...but yes, this reply makes a lot of sense.

So, we're making progress: women want 1.) someone driven and with direction in their life,
2.) emotional intelligence.

Now ok, I'll admit my own shortcomings happilly, but, that's a lot to ask for!

For a man that's baffling you see, most guys I think are happy with someone they find to be nice as a person, fairly attractive (relative to the guy in question), and of a similair intelligence level to themselves. Simple...almost primitive I guess you could say.

 

[Lady_X]

So where do I find a woman who likes coldness wrapped up in a superiority complex?

haha...i'm not sure but i'm sure they're out there! don't give up! fight the good fight man!

Joking...but yes, this reply makes a lot of sense.

So, we're making progress: women want 1.) someone driven and with direction in their life,
2.) emotional intelligence.

yes.

Now ok, I'll admit my own shortcomings happilly, but, that's a lot to ask for!

haha...apparently

For a man that's baffling you see, most guys I think are happy with someone they find to be nice as a person, fairly attractive (relative to the guy in question), and of a similair intelligence level to themselves. Simple...almost primitive I guess you could say.

hmmm...oh i think most people require a lot more than that, don't you?

 

[tcda]

haha...i'm not sure but i'm sure they're out there! don't give up! fight the good fight man!

lol

hmmm...oh i think most people require a lot more than that, don't you?

Well I'm sure men want a "connection" as well, but as listable traits go, I reckon I was close to the mark, and men are pretty straightforwards in this regard whereas women, less so...

...though I'm happy to be corrected!