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  1. #51
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    B) you need to stop reading those awful "pick up girls" sites.
    I don't.

    make some female friends without trying to sleep with them, that should help.
    I do.


    Again this just makes me realize how easy it is to post something on the internet that gives a completely different picture from what you meant to say. :s

    I've got women friends and I've had serious relationships...when I said I don't get women, I meant it in that context. :p Actually I'll just repost an earlier post which explains it (though it's already been dealt with):

    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    This makes me think that maybe I really don't express myself well, at all. I was never complainging "Why do women go for assholes?"...! This was never at all the point of my post!

    OOOOOOOOOKKKKK

    When I say "asshole", I don't mean Stiffler.

    For example: I come across quite cold and self-assured. Certain kinds of owmen find this attractive. But then, they want you to be somethign else too. But then, if you were to become something else, they'd no longer be interested, for example.

    This is just one example. Please can I clarify then: When I say "asshole" I do not mean high school bully, and when I say "women who like assholes", I don't mean a cheerleader who dates the quarter back.

    Rather I am exaggerating personality traits in order to portray things. "Simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise" as Eminem said.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  2. #52
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Amplified noise is a good description of this thread.

    If you want specific answers, maybe you need to give specific examples of where you think this has happened? It may just be that you are doing something assholish that you can change. This would be a good thing, since changing yourself is, I would venture, an easier exercise than changing "all women".
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #53
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    I've read this whole thread and I'm still unsure about what the OP is asking us to answer.
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

    My thoughts on...
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    DISCLAIMER: If I offend you, I'm 99.9% sure it's unintentional. So be sure to let me know, m'kay? (And yes, an INFP would stick this in their signature, lol.)

  4. #54
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    he thinks women are attracted to the very thing that later repels them...he thinks we're contradictory confusing creatures...but...he's just seeing it wrong.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #55
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    I don't.



    I do.


    Again this just makes me realize how easy it is to post something on the internet that gives a completely different picture from what you meant to say. :s

    I've got women friends and I've had serious relationships...when I said I don't get women, I meant it in that context. :p Actually I'll just repost an earlier post which explains it (though it's already been dealt with):
    The real question is... OP is what makes you ask this question?

    Why are you asking this question in the first place, there must be a reason behind it... Who didn't you understand?
    The reason, you are going around and around, is because you are not being specific, and telling your story about previous relationship confusion. You are making generalizations. It is the internet, and you want to remain anonymous, but more details would help to understand your situation. Everything is vague, right now...

    If you feel uncomfortable, maybe do it in a private message?

  6. #56
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Yeah I have issues with communication at times, I've realized. especially online.

    I appreciate what you are saying. For now though I'll put the miscommunication down as my fault, and move on from it.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  7. #57
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    1.) Why is it that women will pretend to want a nice guy etc., but really are fascinated by you if you are an asshole, and will harrass you to show a "human" side, but then, soon get bored once you have shown it (or at least, if you don't turn it off very quickly).

    What do you think?

    Honestly is seems like a passive aggressive, rhetorical question to me...

    getting some frustrations out?

  8. #58
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
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    How old are you tcda?

  9. #59
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    So where do I find a woman who likes coldness wrapped up in a superiority complex?

    Joking...but yes, this reply makes a lot of sense.

    So, we're making progress: women want 1.) someone driven and with direction in their life,
    2.) emotional intelligence.

    Now ok, I'll admit my own shortcomings happilly, but, that's a lot to ask for!

    For a man that's baffling you see, most guys I think are happy with someone they find to be nice as a person, fairly attractive (relative to the guy in question), and of a similair intelligence level to themselves. Simple...almost primitive I guess you could say.
    I feel like I am having a converstaion with myself, but that is ok.

    Ambition, and sensitivity, yes... I desire those things in a man. I think you are on to something. It is a lot to ask for. However. I would use the language...
    I would buffer the extremes. Not an alpha male, nor an asshole, boss type, dictator, dominant, captain, Business Owner, Entrepreneur... Any extreme kind of types are very eccentric, and have difficulty pair bonding.. Think on a continuum, shades of Grey, less extreme. When a man like this has gotten older or slowed down, maybe, but now way when he is young,
    -This is a man of testosterone, cerebral intelligence, and adrenalin. This scares me, because I feel he is insatiable and will eat me alive, I can't meet his needs, and he will burn me out, or trade me in for a younger hottie. What I am is attracted to is the idea of procreating with this man, but having a relationship with this "asshole" is a no go. see...

    for long term, staying with the children and providing for them, (that being the evolutionary point Im basing this off of) For the long term, I want a man who is able to support me, and understand me. That does take listening skills, and like you say, EQ, or emotional intelligence. I would like that, and know men have it, not just for me, but for my children, so they have that bond of the family. That emotional connection would make me feel secure so that he would not stray, and leave the family...

    That combination, idealy makes sense. Just someone who is ambitious and kind. ENFJ's, ESFJ's are that way. An INTJ, can be very loyal, and loving, maybe you just haven't had a good role model, or feel uncomfortable being vulnerable and expressing them. You have to ask for help sometimes, and not be alone...

    It almost like, the kind of man you have sex with, and the kind of man you marry...

    I don't know where the INTJ falls into that category, but that's not my problem.

  10. #60
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alwar View Post
    How old are you tcda?
    According to his profile, he's 4 months old.

    Edit: That's his join date.

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