We had a conversation about this on the INTJ forum that went a little better than the "OMG, he asserted a bad stereotype. Kill him!!!" mentality that I see here.
It was brought up that on some distant primal level of human evolution, women would be attracted to the alpha male as a security mechanism to help defend her and raise her children in a environment of scarce resources (with some of the INTJ females agreeing this was the ultimate psychological explanation). The argument then became how much this evolutionary drive is in operation today, and how much one can rise above it.
That aside .... personally, OP, I see and agree mostly with what you are getting at. Let the naysayers chide you for making politically incorrect observations, but we see the truth.
Originally Posted by tcda
1.) Why is it that women will pretend to want a nice guy etc., but really are fascinated by you if you are an asshole, and will harrass you to show a "human" side, but then, soon get bored once you have shown it (or at least, if you don't turn it off very quickly).
2.) Leading on from that, why be annoyed by arrogance when this is what attracted you in the first place, and when there were plenty of non-arrogant guys who like you, who you could go for, but don't.
3.) Why demand the hypocrisy that someone be "ambitious" or an "alpha male" in more general terms, but that they not be an asshole, when clearly, the two can't be seprated (by definition, climbing above other people, means taking advantage of situations for your benefit at their expense, i.e., being an asshole)? So why do we have to play some game of denying assholery while at the very same time taking a shit on everyone else?
Actually those 3 questions are probably all the same, but whatever.
1.) There's a fine line between being the nice-guy and the pushover, the same goes for being an asshole and brutal honesty (to some). In a biological explanation, women want the protector/warrior types, but also want a compassionate man to take care of her and offspring. They kind of contradict, no? It hasn't gone away.
2.) Even as a girl, I don't even understand this in others, especially friends. It could be because there are a lot of people who assume that a guy's outward 'arrogant' behavior is entirely different when they're with the same guy in private, but mostly that's not the case. There's a lot of reasons for this I suppose. One gender can be completely oblivious to the opposite's negative aspects, thus leading many people of the opposite's gender to question 'how in the hell did they get a date?'.
3.) I wouldn't compare 'ambition' to be anything near being an asshole. It can be, depending on what someone is 'ambitious' about, but I don't see it as taking advantage over others. And pretty much everyone does this. People always deny doing bad things, but at the same time are doing them. Some girls deny being a bitch, when it is blatantly obvious that they are climbing a social/academic ladder.
In a simple generalized answer, though, many girls are just dumb, not all, but many. I wouldn't say that all girls are the 'real life women' that you are confused about though. There are a lot of brilliant single girls out there who see guys for who they are, too.
06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box
Nah, your stereotypical women ARE attracted to (who they think are) good guys.
I have NO IDEA why, but... many women believe that bad guys in reality possess this mushy core they hide from everyone else. Those women fantasize about becoming the one person those bad guys open up and act sweet towards.
When those women realize that the bad guys do NOT actually possess the chewy center they thought those guys secretly had inside... things get ugly. VERY UGLY.
Am I getting a point across?
Enneagram: 5w4 5-9-2 (5w4 9w1 2w1) sp/so
"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." - Greg King
The worst mistake people make in political arguments is assuming that the other side is not trying to do the right thing. This simple oversight makes productive conversation nearly impossible.