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  1. #171
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post
    If i didn't know better I would say you were dating my ex-husband (except he was an INTJ). Run!
    Maybe we have a similar dynamic... that is scary. You post made me smile... though... Thanks for that



    What urks me it that intimacy is based on honesty, right... and I want to show my lover how to please me the correct way, I don't want to pretend or put on a show, or fake it. But this bothers some men, I guess because maybe it makes them feel sexually incompetent, or emasculated... out of control, like they don't get that learning this new thing the way, I like it, will actually make him more powerful, and bring us closer, even though it may be uncomfortable at first.
    I get this sense that NTJ despise feeling VULNERABLE in anyway. once you make them feel that, too many times, it's like you are undervalued, resented, and then they dread the sight of seeing your face...

    I get that though, I still love and appreciate NT's, not all of them, because some people are jerks, that would be stupid, but because my father is an INTJ, and he is the first man I ever loved. (that sounds kinda creepy, but you guys know what I mean... I love my dad)

  2. #172
    Charting a course
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    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    He's 38, Divorced with 2 kids.
    Sounds like a narcissistic asshat to me. Glad to hear you have some self respect.

    I may be divorced, but they can't say I ever treated them the way he treated you.

  3. #173
    sammy
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    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    sorry guys had to get the hate off my chest... feel a tiny bit better now, I just feel like a phony for being with him, and being nice to him and stroking him up like that, the guy needs to be cut off at the knees, already, saying women loose their innocence as they get older. I have heard that from ENTJs before, its so freakin sexiest. I want to kick their a@@. Are all ENTJ's Pedophiles or is it just him? (jk)
    Sorry to hear about that guy's behavior toward you. He doesn't sound like a very kind person, perhaps part of the reason he's no longer married. Why was he divorced, anyway?

    I actually dated an ENTJ who had a similar opinion of older women. He's now engaged/married to someone older than him, but she is his second-cousin, and he's known her his entire life (so he has confirmation of her innocence).

    He's matured up a bit more over the years with his actions, but his views remain the same. His overall preference in women to marry or be in a relationship with was highly dependent on his perception of how "macho" he could be, by comparison.

    He didn't come across as hardass as he wanted to be around me, so he got tired of being figured out constantly (I wasn't impressed by the peacock displays and didn't hesitate to challenge his ideas), and things fizzled out naturally. I wasn't soft and accommodating enough for him, and he wasn't tough enough for me. No bad feelings on either end when it was all said and done. But, point being: I can definitely relate to what you're saying.

    Keep yer chin up, missy. You did a brave thing by getting out of that mess!

  4. #174
    Senior Member Accept's Avatar
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    Drawn to NFs, yet old enough to know better. Unless they're INFJ.
    “Naked to unknown forces, fortune evades mere understanding. The trial of effort.
    The dream of change. Such a place might Hell be to thought and action.”
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #175
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramis View Post
    Sorry to hear about that guy's behavior toward you. He doesn't sound like a very kind person, perhaps part of the reason he's no longer married. Why was he divorced, anyway?
    Thanks for the kind words of advice. He told me that he left his marraige after his two children were born because he was feeling unfufilled, and empty was just pretending to be happy with her. He admitted to trying to change his wife, said he got married young, used the phrase, it's hard when you have kids, ya know... Then he said... but then I met a young lady and fell deeply in love, and experienced true love for the first time. I am glad I experienced that, but it ended this several months ago...

    me...why did it end

    him... she moved away, to go to college, she wanted independence, she was depressed, she had low self esteem, she had an abusive controling father, I tried to help her and do so much for her but I couldnt, it was a painful break up, (yet he says she was a very popular person with lots of friends, and very outgoing, beautiful and smart) Her face book page has over 400 friends and she is smiling and happy, in california? Anyways... not to deny all that.

    He sees a therapist, and was telling me about it, and a lot of the stuff sounded really familar, like it was coming out of her mouth, and out of his A@@, like, let me feel what i am feeling... what the F? that is lame... sorry, but you didnt invent that... and It's nobody's falut, all these lame attempts at validation and stuff, were being regurgitated, I was waiting for the bomb to go off inside... It's like don't give me counsel... Im not actually that mad about it anymore... k getting sick of thinking about this... want to hang out with cool people...

    Talking about this is kinda making me feel like A@@. want to have fun now.

  6. #176
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    Quote Originally Posted by Accept View Post
    Drawn to NFs, yet old enough to know better. Unless they're INFJ.
    I met a male infj recently. The depth he brings to the table is fascinating (whether for eating or conversation). I don't often hang out with people for seventeen hours, but that experience was surely an exception. Also, the flirting is ridiculous.
    Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
    -Alice in Wonderland

  7. #177
    Playnerd Timeless's Avatar
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    I have four good NF friends: ENFP, INFJ, and two INFPs.

    I can't think of someone who is an NF and is not my friend.

    As for romance, I don't know. I can't type people that fast yet. I can say for sure I'm attracted by xxFx's.

  8. #178
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    I like most people for their different personalities.
    (removed)

  9. #179
    brainheart
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    Married to an SFP, all my closest friends are NFs. I feel the deepest connections with INFPs. We have great relationships where our strengths really benefit each other. But the SFP is great because we have loads of fun together, he gets me acting vs talking, and he keeps me aware of the real world, in the good ways.

  10. #180
    Senior Member copperfish17's Avatar
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    But... but... NF's are SQUISHY!

    I kid, I kid.

    I just happen to LOVE the 2 confirmed NFJ's that I know IRL.

    NFP's can be either super awesome, or super disastrous. Most of them are quite enjoyable though (provided that they aren't TOO sensitive).
    Last edited by copperfish17; 03-09-2010 at 05:37 AM. Reason: Adding another quick thought...
    Enneagram: 5w4 5-9-2 (5w4 9w1 2w1) sp/so

    "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." - Greg King
    The worst mistake people make in political arguments is assuming that the other side is not trying to do the right thing. This simple oversight makes productive conversation nearly impossible.

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