The other problem I have with NT-NT relationships is the competitiveness. Which is great in friendships where it serves to sharpen the mind and bring clarity, but it's too exhausting to maintain in romantic relationships where winning so often means losing.
Wow I did not think that sharpening the mind would be an exhaustive task for an INTP.
I don't think anybody would disagree with you that a relationship where people are constantly splitting hairs isn't a successful one. That's just an unhealthy relationship no matter who partakes in it. I am sure most of us are talking about healthy NT-NT relationships.
you will see those scenes in movies where people argue, then make passionate love... Hmm...
"Can you do me a favor? Make 200 double sided copies, and mail each one individually, it's a pain but, the copiers quick, and pick up my dry cleaning...here's $25, how is your second day? Good. Huh." -ENTJ Boss
-"Uhh, sure thanks, I'll do it."-NF employee
-"GO F yourself!"-NT employee
indeed. when the conversation is good and interesting then i feel closer to the person. it's a form of flirting/foreplay with someone attractive.
it is possible to know when to stop talking and start doing other things. there's more than one form of intimacy, and i just happen to include damn good conversation as one of them.
as a matter of fact, if i can't have a great, comfortable conversation with someone, then it's a huge red light.
the need to continue a conversation/argument/debate that's obviously stupid and/or is going nowhere is the biggest turn off.
I can relate to all of the above. My most romantic/exhilarating moments have been with NTs. NFs have been best friends throughout my life. But without that "exhilarating" factor, it can't move to the relationship stage. Exhilarating for me, too, equates to having great, comfortable conversations that never end. I've had that with both NTs and NFs, but I do filter a little more for NFs in my life. The filtering kinda muffles the potential for exhilaration.
Arguing whether NT-NT relationships can be romantic fits into the "going nowhere" and "stupid" categories. Everyone's relationship criteria is unique to their own experiences and preferences.