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  1. #1
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    Default ENTJ not making sense

    I was friends with an ENTJ for a few months. He works a LOT so we never got around to hanging out until...

    At the end of last year, he started pursuing me like crazy, we hit it off, hung out and talked a lot. He did lots of sweet things for me, kept telling me why he liked me, and got shy when I smiled at him.

    One month later, we both get crazy busy and it's hard to see each other. We hang out once, he asks when I'm free again, but I turn the question back at him since he's busier than me. He said he'd let me know, but never got back to me.

    What the heck?

    I didn't call or email for a few days, figuring he was just busy. I wait a good 5 days until AFTER we were supposed to hang out, then sent him an email laying out details of what happened: we hung out a lot, got busy, then nothing, but I said I still liked him, and told him to call me. It was a long email, but mostly laying out facts.

    Few hours later, he tells me he's sorry for not getting back to me, and that he doesn't know what's wrong with him, and that he was working all weekend, and that he'd reply to my email.

    Nope, he never replied to my email. I texted him once, IM'd him once, and then stopped. I stopped trying. It's been a good 4 weeks since we last talked.

    Again, what the heck???

    I still think about him a lot, and am obviously still disappointed.

    He was so direct about everything. My email was pretty straightforward, so I figured he'd at least tell me 'i'm not interested anymore'. But I didn't even get that.

    More info: I should also add that we met on an online dating/social networking site. Neither of us really meet people off of it, we just kill a bit of time using it. After a month of dating, we both deactivated our accounts. After he ignored(?) me, I reactivated my account and saw that he wasn't back on it. But he reactivated a few days later...and viewed my profile several times. Yet he did not contact me.

    What the hell is going on?

  2. #2
    Senior Member JHBowden's Avatar
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    I guess he doesn't care.

    Has it been confirmed he's an ENTJ though? I'm pretty clear about letting people know where we stand, and always feel weird about leaving others hanging.

    If he's an ENTJ though, I'd surmise he doesn't see you working out long-term for whatever reason, and therefore sees no point in making a short-term investment that will yield no dividends. But that's all conjecture on my part.

  3. #3
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    He is a twice-confirmed ENTJ. In fact, we even talked about mbti. He is more like EnTJ.

    And the thing is, when he said he'd reply to my email, I took his word for it. I actually believed he'd just say, "look, I'm too busy, and can't hang out anymore" or "Sorry, not interested anymore." Either way, hint taken. But ignoring the situation after everything seemed to be going fine and him wanting to hang out again? That just baffles me. And it's pretty rude, especially since we were becoming good friends and had so much to talk about.

    I mean, conversation-wise, he had a hard time ending our dates because we talked about everything under the sun. (And I don't mean that I was doing most of the talking and he couldn't stop me -- it was pretty mutual.)

  4. #4
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Confirmed. Lol. I won't even touch that.
    At any rate, I'm only hearing your side of the story and not his.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by JHBowden View Post
    I guess he doesn't care.

    Has it been confirmed he's an ENTJ though? I'm pretty clear about letting people know where we stand, and always feel weird about leaving others hanging.

    If he's an ENTJ though, I'd surmise he doesn't see you working out long-term for whatever reason, and therefore sees no point in making a short-term investment that will yield no dividends. But that's all conjecture on my part.
    I agree with this. He probably doesn't see anything long term happening but also doesn't really want to go as far as telling you it's over.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Confirmed. Lol. I won't even touch that.
    At any rate, I'm only hearing your side of the story and not his.
    I am NOT going to send him an email and say, "look, get on this forum and tell them your side of the story so that they can tell me what the hell is going on with you."

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silencio View Post
    I agree with this. He probably doesn't see anything long term happening but also doesn't really want to go as far as telling you it's over.
    Then, I mean, why did he try to spend the end of that last date trying to find out when I was free, figure out the logistics for the next time, planning it, etc?

    Something seems amiss...

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aviva View Post
    I am NOT going to send him an email and say, "look, get on this forum and tell them your side of the story so that they can tell me what the hell is going on with you."
    Relax.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Relax.
    Sorry, it was supposed to be a joke.

  10. #10
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aviva View Post
    Then, I mean, why did he try to spend the end of that last date trying to find out when I was free, figure out the logistics for the next time, planning it, etc?

    Something seems amiss...
    Maybe is he just insanely busy and keeps putting you off but is meaning to get back to you later, but things keep coming up. And now, it may seem a bit too late. Or he has realized that he really doesn't have the time for a relationship.
    At times work trumps people.

    Good luck.
    "It is not length of life, but depth of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Thought breeds thought." ~ Henry David Thoreau

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