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  1. #1
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    Default How strongly do you need to do things "your" way?

    A common dilemma in my daily life is that I have a need to figure out my own ways of doing things. It is not uncommon for me to do something that ends up contradicting a set of guidelines, or (in other contexts) pissing off someone because I'm not doing something the "right" way.

    Some examples to illustrate the gist of I'm talking about:

    - When I was in school (mostly in science classes, and also in english for writing assignments), I would often find myself frustrated with a method that I was supposed to use to accomplish a given task, and I would find my own way of doing something. The end result was often still good, but many teachers (with a couple of friendly exceptions) took issue with the way I wouldn't do something exactly as instructed if I thought there was an easier way.

    - One of my hobbies is tinkering with/building bicycles, and all the time I find myself doing things that go against rulebooks - I experiment with things on my own (such as "proper" tire pressure being set differently for different conditions, the positioning of handlebars and how they affect how a bicycle will handle, etc) and find myself doing things that go against much of what I read/what people tell me.

    Experiences like this are rampant in my life; I often find myself with a paranoid distrust of the "right" ways of doing anything. Many things that I am interested in, I find myself spending a lot of time educating myself on the topic far beyond what is needed to accomplish a task. By becoming a mini-expert I can infer a better perspective on why certain approaches were suggested and not others, and also to be able to invent some of my own.

    I've left this topic deliberately vague, because this is an element of my behavior that reaches across a broad variety of contexts.

  2. #2
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    Doesn't seem to matter because someone else getting their rushing done so they can get back to their good day is more important like you can be having a good time then everything starts to go wrong and the first words out of their
    mouths is 'there goes MY day.'

  3. #3
    Geolectric teslashock's Avatar
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    So long as I can hold the lettuce and mayo, I'm happy.

  4. #4
    Playnerd Timeless's Avatar
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    Depends, but I don't let my ego get in the way that much nowadays.

  5. #5
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cavarice View Post
    A common dilemma in my daily life is that I have a need to figure out my own ways of doing things. It is not uncommon for me to do something that ends up contradicting a set of guidelines, or (in other contexts) pissing off someone because I'm not doing something the "right" way.

    Some examples to illustrate the gist of I'm talking about:

    - When I was in school (mostly in science classes, and also in english for writing assignments), I would often find myself frustrated with a method that I was supposed to use to accomplish a given task, and I would find my own way of doing something. The end result was often still good, but many teachers (with a couple of friendly exceptions) took issue with the way I wouldn't do something exactly as instructed if I thought there was an easier way.

    - One of my hobbies is tinkering with/building bicycles, and all the time I find myself doing things that go against rulebooks - I experiment with things on my own (such as "proper" tire pressure being set differently for different conditions, the positioning of handlebars and how they affect how a bicycle will handle, etc) and find myself doing things that go against much of what I read/what people tell me.

    Experiences like this are rampant in my life; I often find myself with a paranoid distrust of the "right" ways of doing anything. Many things that I am interested in, I find myself spending a lot of time educating myself on the topic far beyond what is needed to accomplish a task. By becoming a mini-expert I can infer a better perspective on why certain approaches were suggested and not others, and also to be able to invent some of my own.

    I've left this topic deliberately vague, because this is an element of my behavior that reaches across a broad variety of contexts.
    The way is a free passage.
    It does not have a master.

    Not the other.
    Least of all you.

  6. #6
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Very strongy, until I'm convinced of a better way.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  7. #7
    Senior Member burymecloser's Avatar
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    I think this is something I do. I don't believe it's uncommon among NTs. We question the usual way of doing things, even expert opinions. I'm usually ready to adapt if someone can show conclusively that there's a better way, but they'll need to be convincing.

  8. #8
    Widdles in your cream.
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    I can relate to the English assignments bit. During high school, we were told how to intepret a piece of text, rather than encouraged to find our own theories. I tried to follow what was being set for us, but my natural mindset usually came out mid-way through an essay, where I focused less on what the teacher said and more on my own ideas. Whenever I got my assignments back, the teacher always wrote "Stick to the handouts given during the lesson". It's why I thought I hated the literature side of English. It felt like wearing blinkers. Sixth form was a lot more enjoyable, in that the teachers looked down on people who stuck to handouts and notes. University is all about using your own ideas.

    My mother and I clash horribly when it comes to changing beds. She'll walk in on me wrestling with a duvet cover to put it on the duvet, and will insist that my way is making it more difficult for myself. So like an ESTJ, she walks in and "shows me how it's done", strips the duvet back off again and then watches me follow her example. I promptly ignore her and resume in doing it my way, which provokes a lot of arguments. I don't care how inefficient my way is. It's my way. I still get the job done.

    Learning to drive "the right way" makes me feel vulnerable, because I'm forced in sticking to the rules, whilst I'm exposed to drivers who likely aren't. I sometimes challenge my driving instructor, while he insists, "As long as you're driving the right way, that's what matters. If they want to drive like maniacs, that's their problem". While that may be true, personally, it doesn't provide much comfort if one of those maniacs collided into me. And I can't do anything radical to prevent this possibility, because the "right way" disagrees with it.
    Um, yeah.

  9. #9

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    I agree with wildcat, tcda and burymecloser. +1 all of you!

    I need to do things the best way. An example: My guitarist is an ESFP and the two of us have a very conflicted sort of creative relationship because we both have massive egos- so the only way for one of us to get the other to accept one of our ideas is to come up with something so clearly superior that they have to give in.

    Of course, I like to believe that my way is usually the best way because I tend to put a lot of thought into it and he tends to just wing whatever random idiosyncrasies he has- but time and again he has surprised me with creative and unique ideas that add value to our music. I enjoy that.

    I find that this applies to life in general as well. If you take the time to appraise and appreciate others' ideas and perspectives, you will often find that there is value and sense in them as well- and often you can find a way to have the best of both worlds- which is ultimately what being an NT should be about, isn't it?

  10. #10
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    i think most NT are looking for efficient solutions.... so long as someone else's solution is good the wilk go with it...but if they think they can see a better way then its...I'll do it myself...except Taureans who are.... you want to do it... knock yourself out

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