So I have this thing where if I put in effort I need to be the best. I cannot handle being average or even a bit better than average; I need to be 95th percentile or better. Anyways, there happen to be things/subjects/talents that this applies to for me. In those areas, I have extreme confidence and probably exude the vibe that I know better than others.
I acknowledge this by admitting to being somewhat of an arrogant asshole, or admitting to cockiness or whatever. But the truth is I'm pretty handicapped in a lot of ways, and don't feel much in the way of life confidence. Probably less than most actually.
What people don't seem to get is that I choose to distribute my own efforts in a way in which I'm really specialized in certain areas at the cost of breadth. So since I choose to put a lot (and when I say a lot, I mean a shitload) of effort in the areas that I happen to be talented in, I basically cheat and make myself into a master.
When I say something like "I did poorly in that game" when I get 3rd out of 20, that implies that I expect myself to be way above average. And people jump on me for it, calling my arrogance out. But obviously I expect to be better than average -- why would I devote myself to a game that I'm average at?
What I'm basically saying is that it's bullshit that people think of me as out-of-the-ordinary-ily conceited. I just distribute my conceitedness towards my specialties!
Any of you guys relate to this?