User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 27

  1. #1
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    eNFp
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    209

    Default Advice for Dating ENTJ

    I am dating an ENTJ and I am smitten. We have only known each other a couple of weeks so far but he makes my heart beat faster, and I think he is dreamy. I tend to forget what I want to say around him and my mind goes blank, I've never felt so unsure of myself before. I want to connect with him and get to know him better, he says he has trouble reading me, and I am mysterious, but that is because I am scared to mess it up. Does anyone have any advice on how to interact/date an ENTJ or what makes them happy?

    Should I come right out and ask him what he wants and needs or just go with the flow and have fun. He says he wants someone deep, to enjoy the good things in life with who is comfortable in herself... I just dont want him to get bored with me.

  2. #2
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    3,487

    Default

    Can't say for sure what an ENTJ man would want, but honesty is usually a good start place.

    getting all in a flumix and forgetting what you would normally say is not a good oucome as the ENTJ is likely to want to know what you are like in conversation/holding your own etc. So chill out.

    Don't play games
    Don't try and make him jelous or insecure.. they tend to be a bit dismissive of that type of crap
    Don't have emotional dramas that directl involve him
    He's likely to want a traditional male role - so don't be to I'm independant
    Don't be full of shit... have intellegent dicussion and challenge his thinking but not with bad thinking/crap

    Good luck, you sounds pretty loved up, and you ought to go very well together

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    297

    Default

    Be direct and don't assume him to read in between the lines. Even if he can figure out what you're trying to say, he won't likely rely on assumptions. If you want him to know/act on something, say so very directly. He won't be able to respect you if you can't communicate clearly to him.

    Respect, honesty and communication will be the foundations of what he looks for. Try to intellectually challenge him - he'll find it a turn-on. As long as you can keep him challenging him (on a non-emotional level), he'll never find you dull.

    Whatever you do, don't try to play emotional games. Chances are that while he doesn't likely have the patience for it, he can be better at it than you. Expect him to always be 10 steps ahead. Surprise him in nice ways.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Ace_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    TNT
    Posts
    174

    Default

    I'd say "just be true and genuine" but you're an ENFP so I suppose you don't have problems with that.

    Just go with the flow and try to make him have fun(isn't that what ENFPs do best?).

    Knowledge and intelligence will impress him certainly so don't be afraid to talk about intellectual stuff. We love that.

    ENTJs like their mates to be someone who will stimulate them intellectually and make them a better person. To ENTJs life is all about self improvement, to become better and better every day.

    I don't think you'll have problems because ENTJs and ENFPs mix well together. I have a great ENFP friend and we've never had a fight.

  5. #5
    Senior Member thinkinjazz's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    248

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    I am dating an ENTJ and I am smitten. We have only known each other a couple of weeks so far but he makes my heart beat faster, and I think he is dreamy. I tend to forget what I want to say around him and my mind goes blank, I've never felt so unsure of myself before. I want to connect with him and get to know him better, he says he has trouble reading me, and I am mysterious, but that is because I am scared to mess it up. Does anyone have any advice on how to interact/date an ENTJ or what makes them happy?

    Should I come right out and ask him what he wants and needs or just go with the flow and have fun. He says he wants someone deep, to enjoy the good things in life with who is comfortable in herself... I just dont want him to get bored with me.
    I don't think you should be too worried about boring him, you're an ENFP, we are known for being entertaining and fun.

    I've been dating my ENTJ for about 3 months now; I've known him for about a half a year altogether. I love him and he's falling for me... blah blah blah. I think it's is a great match.

    1)Just be yourself. Don't worry about what he wants from you.

    2)If you feel nervous around him and are having a tough time being yourself, which it sounds like you do, since ENFP's are very easy to read when they're being themselves (my ENTJ says it's like watching a movie), then you should spend more time together as friends so there's less pressure to want to "catch" him right now. Being friends first is the best way to ease into any relationship. Keep things simple for now and just laugh off the rest. Laughing together is the most important thing in any situation.

    So just try to be friends first okay?
    Holy sh**t a talking muffin!

    All shotguns and lace.

  6. #6
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    253

    Default

    Advice? Read a logic textbook. If your F is high, then read a few more logic books.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    976

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    I am dating an ENTJ and I am smitten. We have only known each other a couple of weeks so far but he makes my heart beat faster, and I think he is dreamy. I tend to forget what I want to say around him and my mind goes blank, I've never felt so unsure of myself before. I want to connect with him and get to know him better, he says he has trouble reading me, and I am mysterious, but that is because I am scared to mess it up. Does anyone have any advice on how to interact/date an ENTJ or what makes them happy?

    Should I come right out and ask him what he wants and needs or just go with the flow and have fun. He says he wants someone deep, to enjoy the good things in life with who is comfortable in herself... I just dont want him to get bored with me.
    Having dated an ENTJ: You do not need to censor yourself AT ALL 99% of the time...

  8. #8
    Senior Member thinkinjazz's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    248

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    (always trying to adapt to the environment to be what people want, that is me enfp)
    that is what I have done and practiced my whole life, I guess, and where has it gotten me?

    I have no life, no friends, I live at home with my parents and I don't know what I want to do with it. This is a low point for me.
    Part of me is hesitant to even persue this because of the timing, I feel like I don't have much to offer. ( sorry if that was
    I know I do, but just in the mental arena. I've been hibernating in the cold for so long--can't think. I want him. But I fear that I can't have someone like him I don't want to try to be some kind of pseudo intellectual, when I have read a book since it was last necessary. I love good movies and music, and being creative, but lately, Ive been depressed. Uncertainty about direction in life, career, no long term goals. I'm in the doldrums, for the first time since a teenager.
    I told him briefly about it, and he asked me out again. I can see myself falling for him, I am afraid that I won't be able to keep up with his energy and have that passion and intensity that to offer back... I can be sweet, and attractive, kind and loving, but I may run out of things to entertain him with...

    I thought that people didn't want to be entertained anyways,. I do wish I was more passionate about things... It's like maslow though, who cares about a painting when you can't eat. I am just not that passionate yet, about "work" either but I haven't lost all hope yet. I don't want to get negative, emotional and start complaining-easy to do when depressed. I am managing to keep it positive, but running out of things to say. I am mostly curious about him. I can tell him about my life, but i need a way to do it that is less despairing.

    I think a lot of people go though transitional periods, he just got out of a breakup, with someone he loved recently.

    Do you think it is fair to do this... can something healthy come out of this? (dumb question to ask in a chat room)

    I think I need see a counselor and devise a plan or something.. geesh
    Just be yourself and don't worry so much.
    Holy sh**t a talking muffin!

    All shotguns and lace.

  9. #9
    ThatGirl
    Guest

    Default

    Just tell him what you told us in the OP. If someone said that to me, about me, it would probably make me smile, then I would try a little to make them feel more comfortable if I really liked them. Don't try to meet him on his level and fail at it, example being too afraid to speak up, or acting out of character. That never works.

    If you don't what to say, just say that. Eventually you will fall into your niche and he will respect you more than if you lose your frame trying to please him.


    *This is from the female perspective though.

  10. #10
    Pumpernickel
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    1,960

    Default

    Don't be one of those annoyingly flaky ENFPs. Do what you say

Similar Threads

  1. [ENTJ] On the hunt for an ENTJ
    By Thessaly in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 12-08-2015, 02:46 AM
  2. [ENFP] advice for ENFP girl dating ESFP boy
    By KiwiBurst in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-10-2013, 10:04 PM
  3. [ENTJ] Interaction advice for ENTJ
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-02-2011, 11:13 PM
  4. Advice for soon-to-be undergraduate students.
    By Bear Warp in forum Academics and Careers
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 06-29-2008, 09:20 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO